Thinking out loud...
Every time Dominic and I even consider talking about walking down some stupid aisle (but replace that aisle with a trail somewhere out in Moab) BAM - someone we know gets a divorce, and we're right back where we started.
Yes, we love each other.
Yes, we already live together, deal with money, argue about stupid things like farting, cook for one another and offer our hand to hold at the doctor's office when one of us gets sick.
Yes, we started talking about having babies in the future. YES MOM, WE DO TALK ABOUT THAT BUT WE'RE SCARED AND BABIES COST A LOT AND WE STILL WANT TO GO TO EGYPT AND FRANCE AND COSTA RICA!!! AND WE ALSO LIKE TO SLEEP! AND I LIKE MY BOOBS AND MY ABS ARE PRETTY AWESOME RIGHT NOW!
Yes, we want to be together forever.
And yes, we pinkie promised this in a shower one time.
But god, does anything ever last? Maybe that's not a great way to think about things. Like, let's not get hitched because it doesn't work for anyone else. But that's all I can help thinking about. And even if we do last, what's the difference if we had some ceremony - so we can get more stuff we don't need? So, we have an excuse to take another trip (we take plenty)? So our family can say, "we saw it so it must be true love now." Meh, it all seems silly to us right now. And it also seems financially draining if it doesn't work out. Because either way, even if we don't ever get married - if we break up next year or 20 years from now, whether we exchange rings - it'll still be hard emotionally. It's the financial mess (for the wedding AND the divorce) that seems ugly, annoying and sometimes downright crazy.
One time not too long ago, after watching an episode of Thirtysomething where the perfect couple was struggling to connect, Dominic asked if we knew anyone in a healthy, happy long term relationship. I had to think for a while. And finally I said, "Your parents and both my grandparents."
There's always common law, right?
Labels: us
posted by Barrie @ 3:01 PM
4 Comments:
I feel like I'm right there with you. Marriage doesn't seem so practical anymore. And it seems more expensive than ever. <3
Don't get married but have a baby. It will be the greatest gift you could give each other. Common Law is 7 yrs in FL don't know what it is in WA.
No common law in WA
I think the biggest advantage of the marriage ritual is that you get to have a party and EVERYONE is obligated to come. Plus the food is good and you get to be the guest of honor. You see people you haven't seen in years! And your parents pay for it! Also, I know plenty of happy married people, and unhappy married people too. Having a kid together is a MUCH bigger committment.
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