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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I won't give up bread, but peanut butter is a whole different story.

Over the weekend I decided something big. Possibly life altering. That's right, folks - I'm giving up buying shitty Safeway brand peanut butter for ONE WHOLE MONTH. Ok, so this might not seem like a big deal to you. You probably eat that healthy frou frou organic, no stir shit like the rest of my health conscious friends. And believe me, I AM THE QUEEN OF HEALTHY. Give me some quinoa and zucchini and I'm in heaven. But shitty, sugary, no named brand peanut butter seems to be my only weakness. I was/am/will always be quite possibly addicted to the stuff. Anyone who has lived with me knows this obsession all too well. At first I was just having a spoonful after dinner once in awhile. Then it was every day. Then it was 10 spoonfuls. Then I was buying a container a week. I wasn't gaining any weight from it so I'm not worried about that aspect, but I was just becoming concerned that this whole shitty peanut butter thing was becoming too much. Why do I need that much of anything in one day? I eat enough protein. I eat enough nuts. And yet, every day I was going deeper into the hole. The peanut butter was taking over my life! I had to have it!

And then, this Sunday I decided no more. Fuck you peanut butter. You can't control me! You can't make me buy your delicious crunchy, buttery texture. I told my plan out loud to Dominic to make this official. I, of course, set some ground rules. And here they are:

-I can have other butters, like almond butter or shitty organic butter. The reason? Because I would never eat spoonfuls of the crap. They would be soley for pbjs and that's fine by me.
-I can have peanut butter that is already in food items, like cookies or ice cream or reeses. I hardly ever eat any of those things anyway so I'm fine in that department as well.

Basically I just can't buy/eat 10 spoonfuls of the shitty brand pb I so covet. One month. I'm on day 3 and so far so good. Instead of an apple and peanut butter for dessert (my usual) I have opted for a banana and a homemade granola bar. It's not nearly the same, but I feel slightly better that I'm not totally freaking out and getting the shakes. Although, I think about eating it every 10 seconds and purposely sent my baker friend a recipe for homemade reeses peanut butter cups just so I can have a little taste of the bad stuff. I am pathetic. I know.



Blogger Heidiblossom said...

HOLY JEBUS areyouserious. Haven has taken to licking the pb off of her pb crackers, so I started giving her the occasional spoon of peanut butter, enjoying the occasional spoonful myself. THAT IS GOOD SHIT. Sounds dangerous though, I better cease and desist before it's too late!

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I just stumbled upon your blog and let me tell you that I feel exactly the same =( I am peanut butter & bread obsessed. Now that I'm an adult, my metabolism is slowing down. I continue to eat tons of 'Safeway' peanut butter. It is the death of me, preventing me from seeing my abs :'(

12:15 AM  

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