Other crap that's on my mind.

A website about things you probably don't care about, but I do so shove it.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

To the lady who wears white pants…

Hello,

First off I’d like to say I’m happy to see you at the gym. We don’t know eachother and if I saw you on the street I don’t think I would even know you as a frequent gymer. But you’re doing something toward a healthier life and for that I applaud you.

Yet, today I saw something disturbing covering the lower half of your body. It wasn’t exactly the white pants you were wearing per se. But rather, it was the ill-fitting black undies you were sporting underneath the snug white pants that I wanted to talk to you about.

Clearly I’m no one to talk. I wear Naots that are about 10 years old. I also wear hot pink shorts when the weather permits. But I’m a semi-hippie, and doubly I have a wild side where I want to show off my runner’s leg every now and then.

But the one thing I do know about fashion, Mrs. White Pants Lady, is that you don’t wear white pants if:

a) you are over 150 pounds. I’m not even saying 150 pounds is fat, but if you over this weight and of normal height, white pants just aren’t for you. I’m sorry.
b) you only own black underwear that is all bunchy so anyone within viewing distance can clearly see your granny panties showing through.

In some cases, like if you were trendy or a hipster or a free spirit I could understand if you wanted to purposely wear a polka dotted pair of underroos to show off how trendy/hipster/free spirited you actually are. But you, Mrs. White Pants Lady, weren’t that type of girl. Even if I don’t know you at all, I can just tell. You are just another person going to work and when you walk off to a meeting, someone is going to say something behind your back.

So I hope you read this because I wouldn’t want you to make the same mistake twice. I once forgot to pack a bra in my gym bag, so I wore my coat for the first half of the day to cover up my floppy boobs. We’ve all been there. Hopefully, you won’t be there again.

Have a good one.

Word,
Barrie

Labels:

13 Comments:

Blogger Edge said...

!
Awesome.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Postcards said...

You are hilarious. I read this entry and a few more of your posts. Smart and witty. Cheers!

6:43 PM  
Blogger Olivia said...

haha this is great :)
i have had too many white-pants-g-underneath ladies walking infront of me! ek

x lickee

9:56 PM  
Blogger The Boyfriend Shopper said...

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3:46 PM  
Blogger Servant of the Most High said...

Well..

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God bless you.

9:26 AM  
Blogger LS said...

Awesome blog!!xx

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12:13 AM  
Blogger Prateek Jain said...

There are a lot of things like this which should be taken care of, but I've seen people are too lazy & careless for them. Or maybe they do it all intentionally!

7:25 AM  
Blogger adelina said...

This is hilarious! Thank you. I especially enjoyed the part about you wearing your coat and saying 'we have all been there'.

Very enjoyable read! Can't wait for more!

9:34 AM  
Blogger Jen and Tonic said...

150000% agreed. I personally cannot pull off white pants. I REALLY couldn't pull off white pants with black underwear. This kind of stuff only works when you're young, rich and famous.


http://ajenaday.blogspot.com

11:03 AM  
Blogger Sunny Haralson said...

hilarious

5:08 PM  
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12:36 AM  
Anonymous ~ M ~ said...

my gosh, this is a one funny post! I keep reading your blog more and more and the more I do the more i want to read. I should totally add you to my list of reads. GOSH! Yep, I'm one of those bored and clicking the 'Next Blog' button. LOL!

Ciao-meow
~ M ~

1:27 PM  

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