Other crap that's on my mind.

A website about things you probably don't care about, but I do so shove it.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

It's stooltastic!

I'm old fashioned. I like to say shit, or crap, or corn nuggets. But, ever since I've befriended Nicole and all her weirdness, she's introduced me to probably the grossest word ever for taking a dump.


She loves the word. And whenever she has to take one, which is way too often, she loves to instant message me about her 15 minute session with the porcelian bowl and the little covers that will forever mock me. Like I want to know when she's gonna stink up the bathroom that has no magazines unless I put them in there. Well, she loves the word so much in fact that she wanted to write a blog about it. And since she's too lazy to make her own damn blog, she asked if she can borrow my blog for her essay on Stool. So, now for your reading pleasures, I present you with Nicole's blog on stool. Feel free to print this out at work and read it while you take a huge fuck off crap.
I know I will.

Be Thee Not Afraid of the Stool - Just Let It Out!

Ok, here's my first attempt at a blog. Really it's just a piggyback off of Barrie's blog. I'm not bold enough to be a regular blogger, and I don't expect people to actually take interest in, let alone react to, my day to day absurd thoughts. But I just wanted to write about this certain subject that everyone does but no one talks about, except me and Barrie and a handful of others.

So, the stool. Why do we quiver, snicker, look the other way, or say
eeeeewww gross (that's Barrie). Fact is, we all stool. Now what I have
a problem with is the fact that I can't even let it out when someone
else is in the same bathroom as me. It's like I feel like they've
looked under the stall at my feet to determine who I am. And I always
force it to wait to come out until someone has left the bathroom,
turned the sink on, or flushed the toilet. Now I could just go to
another floor, like a certain someone I know, just to spare the chance of embarrassment or whatever it is. But I refuse! I tried it a couple times and it's just absurd! I have to walk all the way downstairs, remember that the girl's room is on the opposite side, and then it doesn't even have that nice artificial, inviting smell of Meijer brand cinnamon spray. I admire those women, one in particular (I won't
mention at the chance of being dooced), who can just command a bathroom, take a crap, expel gas ranging all octaves and come out and ask you about work or comment on the weather. One day maybe I'll be more like her, until then I can't say. I'm working on it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

y'all are craptastic.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The reason I don't use my own floor's bathroom is not that I want to avoid any kind of embarrassment. The reason I don't use my own floor's bathroom is that I don't own a canoe.

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

with all the crap going on in the world you guys are definitly so generation y...all you do is wine and complain it really is sad that your generation is leading us into the future because we are all doomed..stop your fucking bitching about every god damn thing and start caring about things that are important..i feel sorry for you nicole you are a total loser and of course you must be part of generation y because you wine wine wine wine..stop wasting time be here now and help your fellow man...you two are so fucking annoying

4:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

for the above comment- look who's complaining. there's nothing worse than someone who complains about people who are just trying to write their shit, without people like you raining on their parade. grow up and just laugh once in awhile. you must be a gen x person, because obviously you can't get that stupid chip off your shoulder.

6:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't call me gen y beiotch! i'm an echo boomer!

12:24 PM  

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