Other crap that's on my mind.

A website about things you probably don't care about, but I do so shove it.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Batman and The Molestor.

Okay, real quick here.

Michael Jackson and a Dog


Now, I'm about to spoil shit for you, so if you haven't seen Batman Begins, then don't read below.

Things I liked about Batman Begins:

1. How fucking hot is Christian Bale? That scary American Psycho image of him chasing prostitutes with chainsaws was totally erased from my memory once I saw him in that bat suit, without that bat suit, doing push ups, should I go on? Okay, smiling, talking deeply, flying and just standing their looking fucking hot!

2. The first half hour was good. Sorta X-Men type of feel to it. I liked the fact that he didn't just become batman out of thin air. They went through the process, like Spiderman. He had to train, and make enemies and was in jail and had to walk miles in the snow. And they actually showed the scene with his parents dying. That was all good and well.

3. Gotham. I liked the art direction. Props to showing the city in the good ol' days compared to the crappy days. Bums and freaks galore. Wait a minute, was that Gotham or Detroit? (sorry maya, i had to do it)

Okay, enough of that. Now for the shitty parts.

1. Fucking Katie "I'm riding on this Cruise trip until the Batman franchise is over" Holmes. I wanted to smack that crooked smile off her face.

2. Too many enemies. At first there was the mob dude, then it sorta seemed like the bad cop was gonna go psycho, but didn't. Then the psychriast went all weird and then finally Liam Neeson came back for one last horrah.

3. No explanations. Why did Liam's character hate Gotham so much? And why did he hate Batman too? All the hottie did was save his life. So, he blew up his house, but he gets to live (in the beginning at least)!!

4. Deja vu. Is Jack Nicholson gonna revive his role in the next movie? Why are they doing the Jocker bit again? Aren't these NEW enstallments suppose to be pre-Michael Keaton? I'm confused. I also didn't read comic books as a kid, so I also have no idea what I'm talking about.

5. The two endings. I thought the movie ended with Bale and Michael Cain. As did everyone else, because we all stood up. Haha. Fake ending. Cue Gary Oldman (who played a good guy pretty good, but still couldn't shake his bad guy persona from a much better movie- The Professional- off my mind) talking to Batman so they can set up the sequel. I had the feeling, the director was editing and gave the movie his blessing. Then a day before it's release realized they were missing that vital set up for sequel scene. They tagged this weird conversation at the end and said voila! Lame.

6. IT WAS TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG. MOVIE PEOPLE, NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE LIVES. STOP MAKING MOVIES SO DAMN LONG. OR AT LEAST MAKE THE SEATS MORE COMFORTABLE.

Final Grade: B-

1 Comments:

Blogger richlevine said...

Couple Batman Comments:

Liam and his boys hated Gotham because it had become so crime ridden that it was impossible to save. The only way for "good to conquer evil" in the situation was for the entire city to be destroyed.

Liam hates Batman because he thinks he is a pussy who won't do what's necessary to combat evil aka, he won't kill bad guys. In Liam's mind, Batman should have killed him when he had the chance. Saving his life just made him weak.

As far as the deja vu goes, I'm not sure that they are going to be making anymore Batmans (I might be wrong though). IMDB has nothing about future movies.

Everything else you said I agree with. Holmes Blows. Too many bad guys. Great movie.

9:12 AM  

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