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Thursday, September 07, 2006

If I get sick I blame this bitch.

I hate stupid gym people. All over the Gold's Gym in Capitol Hill you see signs that say PLEASE WIPE OFF MACHINE AFTER USE. This sign is very logical, as you get sweaty and then leave your sweat all over some machine for others to use after you. If you don't at least attempt to clean it somewhat then you might as well not wash your hands after you shit. I'm not saying the mystery solution and soggy towel they provide for us is doing a perfect job, but it's doing something. It's preventing me from touching your sweaty ass.

So when the woman next to me was having a coughing attack while running, I though for sure that she would do the right thing (and leave immediately!). I am not joking when I tell you that she coughed on command every minute for a half hour. I wasn't sure if she was sick, had OCD or asthma. But either way, when she finally got off the treadmill she didn't clean off the machine.

Now, the bottle was right there. She wasn't in a rush, because when she was done with the treadmill she went right to the bike that was behind me. She was just a disrespectful dirty cunt who now will make the whole gym sick with her SARS.

I was debating on if I should be one of those people, and clean up after her. Fully knowing that she would be watching me, and that she'd know I was only doing this to teach her some kind of lesson. Then I thought about telling her, "Ya know, other people have to use that machine and since it's now covered in your sweat and cough spit you might consider using one of the twenty cleaning devices surrounding your nasty ass."

But you know what I did instead? Nothing. That's right, I suck.

3 Comments:

Blogger TheReluctantNinja said...

You should probably stop going to the gym because you'll just be blogging about this every few months for the rest of your gym going life. Gyms just suck anyway: find better ways to work out. It still baffles me that people even go to gyms to "run" or "bike" when you can just open your front door and do both...for free... Weights? Research some good body resistance methods. My friend Josh used to work out at gyms constantly. Too much sometimes, even. He was ripped but eventually gave up on gyms and found perfectly good ways to stay in amazing shape by working out in his apartment. I really dislike gyms. Like a lot. Especially on Capital Hill where the men's locker rooms are basically just a bunch of buff guys checking each other out. They had to take the curtains down in showers of one of the gyms I went to because the guys started having sex in them. Talk about nasty. Men's locker rooms covered with santorum...mmmmm

11:04 AM  
Blogger Barrie said...

zach,

giving up the gym is like me telling you that the crack you drink everyday called coffee is a big waste of your time. why don't you just fall asleep earlier or this or that. thanks for your opinion, but i need my gym. and if you know me, then you know that everyday not only do i go to the gym by i go to every park there is. if i'm not working or sleeping i'm walking around or running outside every chance i can get.

i complain because i can.

the end,
barrie

11:10 AM  
Blogger TheReluctantNinja said...

I don't drink coffee everyday and if you're trying to challenge me I'll quit tomorrow...if you stop going to the gym ;) And when was the last time you heard me complain about coffee, anyway?

In case it wasn't clear I was being sarcastic. I don't really expect that you'll stop going to the gym but there is no way gyms will ever be clean. They are filthy, nasty, disgusting places and always will be. To complain about the filthiness of gyms is like complaining about commercials on television: you don't have to watch. :P

2:17 PM  

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