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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

For Girls Eyes Only

*Warning: Don't continue reading if you're the squimish type. Pretty uncomfortable shit lies ahead.

I got my colposcopy yesterday. Didn't have to pay a dime! But man, oh man, that procedure just sucks.

I'm pretty good with pain. Sure, I'll cry on the drop of the hat if someone calls me a bad name, but if you hit me across the face I'd probably just look pissed off. This was a different kind of pain.

I go in and the doctor tells me what I should expect. She basically opened me up pretty wide and had to dig around, collecting samples and cutting things out. She found a polyp, which I guess isn't a big deal, but cutting was required nonetheless.

The uncomfortable, painful part was that it felt like she was giving me a really bad cramp as she was opening and digging and cutting. It was like the worst cramp you can imagine. Like someone was punching you in uterus 100 times, but in a very sterile looking doctor's office with ugly paintings on the wall.

A lady came in to hold my hand. She tried to talk to me about knitting. It was that kind of hurt.

When she was done, I saw blood on her gloves and brown glop in a cup. She said not to worry, both were very normal. Just kinda uneasy to look at is all.

Now, I still kinda have the cramps and I guess I'm not supposed to swim or put anything in my vagina for a week. Whatever will I do with all those cucumbers I just bought!

I also have to get a pap smear every 4-6 months now.

Bleh, it's all just kinda annoying. Necessary, I know. But annoying.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

Okay, they put me to sleep for mine...for good measure they also did a D&C. I am so sorry you had to be awake, that just sucks.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

Sorry, this has got nothing on childbirth. Except maybe for the fact that your body is expecting to be wide open while birthing a baby, and in your case your poor unsuspecting uterus was just... well and in the end of childbirth you get this great little baby. And a lot more blood. For a laugh, you can read my birth story at myspace.com/heidiblossom

5:37 PM  

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