If only the Beatles did porn.

A few weeks ago, Dominic took off work so we could eat at our favorite taco truck and see Across the Universe.

All we heard about this movie was one review from someone I don't really trust with movies, or anything for that matter. He's one of those people who likes everything. Those people are always iffy in my book.

I saw some previews and it looked interesting enough. A movie inspired by Beatles songs. I liked George Harrison. Let's go!

We sat down and immediately knew we were doomed. This movie really fucking sucked. Not like Shark Attack 3 sucked (cause that's actually a quality bad movie). But like it just sucked. Sucked so bad we walked out after an hour. I've only done this once before and if I tell you the movie then you might not trust this review. Let's just say I'm not a war movie kinda gal (No, not Saving Private Ryan - I know good shit people).

Anyway, don't read the next few paragraphs if you actually want to see this turd. Fuck it, read the next few paragraphs cause I really don't want this movie to make any money at all. No one should see this.

It starts with a kid singing a popular Beatles song and it basically doesn't stop from there. This was a Mamma Mia play put into a movie. Actually I think that's probably what happened. Someone couldn't make this into a play, so a moron came up with the worst idea ever to make this song and dance into a 2 hour snore.

The main guy is the rebel who goes to war instead of college. The main chick is a prep who loses her boy to the war. They sing. They dance. I'm sure they fell in love (we didn't stay to find out).

It really is a bad high school play. I don't know any other way to describe this crap.

On another note entirely, because Dominic did my site in a very timely fashion I bought us tickets to what else, a short-film porn competiton called Hump 3! Basically it was all these short movies that had a lot of penises, bondages, vaginas, hardcore, softcore, really really hardcore (like make your stomach turn and look down at the floor until it's over hardcore), and entertaining porn. Their were about 25 short films and we had to vote on the best in humor and hardcore. Some were bad. Some were good. Some were oh my god.

In short, Hump 3 was way more entertaining than Across the Universe could ever be.
Way more entertaining.