This is what I want for christmas/hanukkah/birthday/anniversary/arbor day!

No, I don't want a shamwow or the newest thing from the mall. And if you don't ever surprise me a house filled with apples I'll be okay. Because if you get me this, I'll forget about all those times you got me something I'd never wear, use or decorate my home with. If you got me this I might just love you forever, if I don't already. If you got me this, I would even consider having kids just to please you. Or not have kids, just to please you. I'd give up peanut butter AND gum at the same time. I'd be excited about baseball AND the Dolphins. I'd do whatever you want because that's how much this gift would rule.