I'll give you something that isn't so greattt, you optimistic bastard.

Can't it just be good sometimes?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I've decided to not be so hard on myself. I'm pretty optimistic when it comes to giving advice or hearing someone else's situation, but for me, I always feel doomed. So, I'm stopping that. I'm making a list of only good things. And maybe these things aren't all that great to you, but they are to me so ____ (haven't picked a new word yet).

Things I'm pretty darn good at:

a) Singing in the car. I actually can only do this really well if I'm by myself. It's weird, but I just don't care if people are laughing at me in the car next to mine because I figure I'll never see that asshole who doesn't know how to use his blinker ever again. And if this makes me more peaceful while I have to drive next to you, then I think we're all a little safer because of it. So there!

b) Crying. Now I know you're probably thinking, "Is that something to be happy about?" And to that I say to hell with you. I like crying. I can do it like all the time. I'm not depressed (at least I don't think I am), but sometimes I just like thinking of sad things and this makes me cry. Or I'll think of happy things and boom! Tears start rolling like magic. I hide it pretty well too. When I cry in my 4x4 cube no one notices and for some reason I take pride in hiding that. I pull the old cough when I fart trick and people just think my nose is all stuffy thanks to the frickin' cold weather.

c) Watching TV. Talking about being a master of something. This is my forte my friend. I love it. And I'm really good at using the remote too. I can maneveur the page up and down keys like its no ones business. Plus, since my job is making commercials (or at least hopefully making commercials) then I feel like I'm actually doing my part within my job and am in some small way making my life as a copywriter a little better. For me at least.

d)Making lists. I make lists for lists. I'd list everything if I could. I never used to be this organized. It just started happening one day. Maybe it's my anal retentiveness sneaking out. I try to push it in, but once in a very navy colored moon it sneaks in and takes over. Anyway, and to add to the goodness of things, I'm pretty darn good at doing everything my list tells me I must do.

e)Being creative. I'm no artist. I don't even really consider myself a writer. But I love being creative. I love tie-dying t-shirts. I love doing random projects that I find in my Readymade magazine that I steal from Mark all the time. It makes me happy that even when I can't do something well, it really doesn't matter because I'm being creative. Sometimes I'll even wake up in the middle of the night to draw (which I don't do well either). It's like some kind of surge that totally takes over me and I love that about myself.

f) Working out. This is another new thing for me. It started like 2 years ago, and I was doing it more for making friends/I should probably make my boniness more tough kind of thing. Now I'm totally addicted and just can't get enough of it. If I don't work out 5 days a week I feel completely lazy and tired. It's part of my routine and it's all mine. I get to read my mag/book and listen to the news and I don't have to talk about work or talk about advertising (which is work) or about Nik or about my crazy family. I can just sit on my bike and be happy. And I love it.

That concludes the things I'm good at. There should probably be more, but it's 5:15 and there's still work that needs to be done. So, peace.