She must be smokin' the crack?

I tried to photoshop my face here, but I'm not an art director so this is what you get. Suck it.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

When I found out that Brad and Jen (yes, I refer to them by their first names, because I feel like I could be friends with them so shove it) were joining the 52% of "oops, i married the wrong person and wasted all that money on a huge fuck off wedding that cost more than ebay auction of a grilled cheese sandwich with the mother mary on it", I was foolishly shocked. I really thought this one would work. They seemed like they actually had their shit together. And The Today Show even had pictures of the coupledoom holding hands and kissing a day before the news leaked out. What went wrong? Here are my theories:

A) She realized that he's way to hot for her and couldn't handle it.

B) He had this empty feeling and these weird dreams about a girl that lives in Michigan who has short hair and glasses. So, he's trying to hunt her done and Jen was just getting in the way.

C) He's secretly gay (gasp!).

Any other theories, please share with me and possibly the world. You don't just divorce Brad Pitt. You just don't.