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Thursday, February 10, 2005

I can't stand my (old) roommate either.

I lived right over there.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
This morning I decided not to watch Katie Couric do some stupid skiing stunt and went on blogger instead to see their picks for some fav blogs (secretly hoping mine would be among the list- knowing that it never would be- tear, wipe, sob). And I came across one that I loved, and I swear this dude must have read my journal 2 years ago. It's called Things I hate about my Flatmate. I was immediately inspired, but forgot to bring my journal to copy out of, so I'll just start from scratch.

Things I couldn't stand but somehow tolerated about my roommate when I lived in Atlanta (I wish I lived in a flat and not a room- flats seem oh so more interesting, and colorful):

1. She thought she was really hot. She walked around like her shit didn't stink. I mean more props to her for having such self confidence, but really. She walked around like she was trying out for America's Next Top Model, when she was anything but.

2. She was snappy. Now, I don't mean she was happy and all of a sudden went all bitch on me. I mean she snapped her fingers all the damn time. That was how I knew she was in the room (because she sure as hell didn't talk). Before she came down the stairs she would snap her bony little fingers. She'd snap while cooking. She'd snap in the bathroom. Oh lord, I can hear it now. Make the ringing in my ear go away!

3. Proper refrigerator ettiquiette (sp?). She didn't know what this meant. You'd think with the kind of family she grew up in (I'm only assuming they were the type to have tea time, tuck their napkins in their shirts while they ate and called her parents by their names) she'd know that you throw out milk when it's a month old, you check the veggie bin every now and then to make sure that the green pepper isn't mush, and when there's an explosion of blueberries in the freezer you clean it up so that your roommate can put chicken in there without worrying it might turn purple. Plus, she had this annoying habit about eating a bag of cranberries, or nuts or what have you and then she'd leave 4 nuts left and never eat those 4 again, but would keep the container around, just in case she has the urge to eat 4 nuts. She was insane!

4. The shower! This was a big one. There were 2 huge problems she couldn't quit grasp when it came to sharing a bathroom.

a) The pully thing that caused the shower to actually turn on, well, she always left it up. So, for the first few weeks I'd turn the water on and get a blast of either really hot/cold water in my face. I finally learned my lesson and would only turn on water when I wasn't in the shower, or I just remembered to always put the pully thing down before I turned the water on. But I always thought to myself, "Does she enjoy getting a fierce force of water the minute she turned the water on." For anyone that is confused, the proper thing to do once done with your shower is push down pully thing, then turn off water (or vice versa). It's no rocket science, my dear.

b) For almost a week, I had to stare at her pube infested razor! Gag- (sorry, I almost threw up, just writing the line. It still gives me nightmares!) The "pube incident", which I now call it, only happened once, but that was enough in my book. I'm not just talking 1 or 2 pubes on her razor that she might have missed while trying to clean said razor after use. I'm talking about, she used the razor for the pube area and then did nothing, but rest it back on the shelf. No rinsing was involved at all. So for a week I had to clean myself practically outside of the shower, because the pubes were just staring at me. There must have been like 500 of them, all curly and gross. Finally, Nik was the one that couldn't take it anymore and decided to clean it off. I think he washed his hands about 50 times that day.

5. I don't think anything tops the pube story, so I'll just leave it at that, because I really could list about 900 more annoying habits, but I just got a new assignment for a new client. Yipee!



Anonymous Debbie said...

My last memory of her was her ruining a fun day in NYC. Kelly invited me to go to the museum of T.V. and Radio. She wormed her way into going with us. She was a picky bitch about where we went for lunch. Why should she care? She hardly ate. However whatever she did eat gave her the craps at the museum. HA HA Bitch. Serves her right.
She is such a pain in the ass. She looks like the freaking Crypt Keeper. At least he was funny.

9:43 PM  

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