Things I can't control when I don't have my headphones at the gym.

1. I can't hear Drew and Mike in the morning.

2. Instead I have to hear the old guy's boombox filled with really horrible covers of We Are The Champion and the like.

3. Then I have to talk to said old guy about the book I'm reading. Blah blah, yeah interesting book, blah blah. Can I just do my weights and just be old man!!

4. I have to hear the man who grunts like he's having a woman type orgasm. Believe me, you don't want to be here when this guy is here. It's quite disturbing. I wish someone would tell him that he shouldn't breathe while working out. It's just so damn embarrassing. I pity the fool.

5. I also have to hear old men grunt like they are having babies because they are lifting like they mean it. Like they are gonna die tomorrow so if they don't lift 50 lbs more than they should then they won't look all tough and old and shit. Eee Eee Ooo Ooo Eee Ooo.

Those headphones were like my security blanket. No one fucked with me when I had headphones. It's like I didn't exist. And at the gym, that's exactly how I want to feel. I don't want to talk to people, or wait for people or even fake smile at people. I just want to get sweaty and leave. Damn you headphones. Damn you to hell! I will replace you at CVS tomorrow.