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Sunday, March 11, 2007

I make up the rules.

So, tell me your opinion on this one.

I went on a blind date a few weeks ago with this guy. From the get go I sensed he was too into drinking, parties and what not and he's in his 30's. But as far as blind dates go, the first one went well. I wasn't uber excited or anything, but ya know I'm trying...

So, when he asked what I was doing on Friday I had plans to go to a concert but instead of blowing him off I invited him along. I had another party to go to beforehand, where of course there were free drinks so I had my fair share. I wasn't trashed, but I was definitely feeling friendly enough to flirt a little. When we finally met up, the bands were starting and the drinks kept coming. I think at this point I only had one other drink and then water here on out. I was on a pseudo date, not at a frat house, ya know?

But he, well he was pounding away. Drink after drink. Even as the last band played, and everyone was leaving and the bartenders were ignoring him he was demanding another drink until I was like, "Is that really necessary?" and he gave up and we left.

Oh, I should also mention that throughout the night he kept planting kisses on me. This, I am not accustomed to. I don't do that. I hold someone's hand or maybe after like a year of dating do I kiss in the middle of a concert, but I definitely don't do that with a guy I've only met up with twice.

I guess I didn't think it was as late as it was, but when we got to my doorstep he still was trying to kiss me. At this point, bar goers are walking past us snickering and I was like, ugh enough already. Let's just go inside and kiss there. In my head, all I wanted was to kiss and then have him leave after like a half hour.

But since it was 2am, I think he figured that was code for sex. I'm sure this is typical, but not for me. But I asked other guys and they were shocked. Like, "So you invited a guy to your apartment past 2am and you didn't do it? Yeah, you led him on."

Well, fuck man. Did this guy really think that after just our 2nd meeting I was gonna do him. Yuck! Sorry, mister man. I'm not like that. I make up my own rules. And the only reason I invited him up was to kiss and that's it.

You'd think the annoying part would be when he kept whispering "let's do it" in my ear, or saying how pretty I was like over and over again or how he said he might have to pass out here because he was too drunk. But no, the highlight of the evening was when he sat up and said, "I think I have to puke" and then proceeded to throw-up in my bathroom.

I called him a cab, gave him water and a piece of gum. He tried to kiss me good-bye but at this point I would not open my mouth if you gave me all the free apples in the world. I had enough of this dude.

The part that really bothered me most was his total lack of respect. I mean, sure I invited him up and we were kissing. But I made it clear that nothing else was gonna happen right from the start. And he still proceeded to put his slurred game into action. It was embarrasing for him and just rude towards me. Maybe I'm a tease or whatever, but at the same time if I tell you no, right off the bat don't be pathetic and keep mentioning it. That's just sad and needy.

And then this made me sad because Mike had the upmost respect for me. If I was tired he didn't bother me. If I didn't want to do something, he didn't beg. I miss that in a guy.

Today Mr. Pukey left a message saying he was sorry and that if I didn't want to see him again, he'd understand. Now, I definitely know I won't be seeing this guy again, but I guess my question is, should I just assume that I can't simply invite guys over to kiss and that's it? I mean, I know what guy's think but is that really fair?


Blogger maurene said...

Not all guys are walking boners that assume they're getting ass by being invited in at 2 am. I get WHY they might think that, but a simple no from you should really be all that they need as clarification. Never settle for barf fondlers--I guess Mike was a good example of the good that IS out there . Insert happy fake-o girl hug!

9:33 PM  
Blogger mayarn said...

Ditto on what maurene said. ;-)

4:25 AM  
Anonymous seth said...

Yeah, not all guys are idiotic like that. Sure, being invited in at that time may tend to signal something. But if you're upfront about things, which it sounded like you were, then that's a different story. Guys have to understand that the girl is in total control in that situation...especially on date number two.

Maybe you should've just let him keep pounding drinks and pass out.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

also keep in mind that he was drunk as a skunk. maybe he would have been less aggressive in his attempts to get some arse if he was a bit more sober. i wouldn't dwell on the mixed signal thing - you said no and that's it. no guy should ever expect sex just because it happens like that on tv. you DO make up the rules. -kkamm

7:54 AM  

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