Who wants to not date me?

Ugh. Dating...
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I hate dating. It seems too frustrating for me. I don't like the interviewy process that's involved. I haven't dated in so long that I know I'd fuck it up majorly. And even if I wanted to date, there's not a single guy out there. Every guy at work is married or the complete opposite of my type, so that's out. The few friends I have don't have dateable friends, so I'm screwed (no pun) in that department. So, how the hell am I supposed to meet someone in Michigan of all places. Maybe I'll take up hunting (poor bambi) or maybe I'll pray to get stranded on island with the Party of Five/Lost hottie.

I mean I know I'm decent in the looks department. I'm sort of shy, but not too shy where I can't have a conversation. I'm smart. I like music and movies and can pretend to talk about politics. I can be lazy or active depending on the day. I even like video games! My main downfall is sports. Hate them. Don't like talking about them. Don't like watching them. Don't give a shit about them. But besides that, I'm a catch. And yet what do I get? Nothing. I'll be an old maid forever. And my looks will go, my smarts will go, and my hatred for sports will stay exactly the same.

So, what do I want exactly?

I just want to fall into a relationship. I want a guy to knock on my door and say, "I'm here to be your boyfriend. I'll give you control of the remote. I'll go on hikes and grocery shopping with you. I'll see movies with you and go to concerts with you. We can hold hands, or not hold hands, whatever you feel like doing at that moment in time. We can have sex whenever you want and we don't have to do anything too wierd. We can go on fun trips together. And when we fight we can makeup right away. I'll like your friends and they'll like me. We can go out drinking and even sometimes dancing, whatever your cute little heart desires. I'll be on time and even bring you daisies on a random Tuesday (that's a stretch- i know). We can play video games together and paint together and make fun of each other together. You can cry all you want and I'll never judge you. I'll hold the door for you and I'll eat healthy for you. I'll be there for you and even if you have that glazed look in your eyes while I'm talking about something macho I'll understand that you're just zoning out, and that's okay with me because I'm your new boyfriend, and I'll do anything for you."

Now, is that too hard to ask damnit!