Other crap that's on my mind.

A website about things you probably don't care about, but I do so shove it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Fucking shit. I hate growing up.


I hate you most of all.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
I remember when I was between the ages of 8-11, I'd go to the beach and spend the entire day in the ocean. And I wasn't a fucking pussy, I was out there in the deep shit. Sometimes wondering if I had the energy to even swim back because my body would be so pruned that I thought that the salt in the water would literally devour me. But never, ever during those years would I think there would be sharks to bite my little legs off. I was fucking fearless! At 8! Now, I'm 26 and if I go snorkeling for an hour I get panicky. I'll see something that isn't really there and get this instant urge to get the fuck out of the ocean cause god knows what could just eat my fucking head. Weird how you grow up and become a fucking wimp. Thus, here's my list of things that I'm noticing I'm pretty scared of as I get older.

1. Being home alone. I've always been a little weird about this, but it's only right when I go to bed. When my roommate is gone, I always lock my bedroom door thinking to myself that if a burglar comes to get me, at least there will be an extra lock between him, me and rape. Then again, when Steve is home I don't do this. I always assume that if a burglar did come, Steve would karate chop his balls off. This of course wouldn't happen because Steve cries during Extreme Home Makeover.

2. Planes crashing. I'm not scared at all when I'm actually in the plane. I'm more scared of actually seeing one crash while I'm driving. And then I always imagine that when I see this, I'd call CNN or 911 from the side of the road and be like, "Holy fucking shit. Ahhh!"

3. Cars with ladders on their roof. This is the worst. I speed right past these kind of cars/trucks because I always think the ladder is gonna fly off the car, through my window and slice my face in two. So yeah, I just drive right past those folks. Which is probably for the best anyway, because don't those drivers always seem really tired and/or drunk?

4. Dunkin Donuts. The only reason for this is because I once found a pube in a donut when I was in high school. Ever since, the only donuts I really can eat are Entemanns (sp?) and honestly I haven't touched one of those in about 2 years.

Yep, so I don't think I'm too weird. I'm pretty sure this comes with age and watching too many Unsolved Mysteries at night.

1 Comments:

Anonymous becky said...

I'm so with you on that ladder thing! I imagine my eyes catching the two legs, and BAM! my head flies off backward.

11:15 AM  

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