FREE COFFEE WITH CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!!

Today Starbucks had free coffee from 10-12, and because I'm a sucker for anything free I took advantage. Even though I shouldn't have because I know what coffee does to me.

Lo and behold I'm fucking insane-o now. I'm so jittery. I actually did a cartwheel at work. And my stomach hurts. And I have a headache. And I hate this. How people drink multiple cups of this crack I'll never understand.

So, Kelly right now is bringing me down from my coffee high through Instant Messenger. She's like eat bread and water. Do this and that. She asked, "Why would you do this if you can't drink coffee?" And of course I said, "Because I'm a free ninja. Free things find me, and I have to take advantage. It's just what I do."

I told her my lunch consists of bread and water so I'll be okay. And that actually, the bread is a bagel I got for free and it's smothered with avocado that I also got for free.