Secrets and Lies.

Basically my whole life has been surrounded with lots of secrets and even more lies. I always knew there was something wrong with my family. Sure, everyone has problems, but the problems we had were always a little different. I guarantee my family can beat your family in the crazy/weird story department. Sure, you might have a bastard brother or some huge blow out fight that one time when you were young or someone doesn't get along with the in-laws. Maybe even someone went to jail. Oooh!! Crazy!!! But so far I haven't heard a story yet that compares to the mess that's been my life. I think that's how I got so good at lying during my formative years in high school, and possibly how I became a writer in Advertising now. You want this unbelievable product as this unbelievable price, well now you can! See, it's all pretty easy.

(Mom don't be angry at what I'm about to say, as I was young and I'm pretty sure every 16 year old does this.)

I used to lie a lot in high school. But I did so well in school (I was also pretty good at cheating), and I never skipped classes (I think I got one detention in all 4 years!) that I usually left the lying for the weekends and always figured the white lies wouldn't hurt anyone. But then, I'd just lie because that's what came out of my mouth and sometimes like zits, I had no control.

"Mom, I'm going to the mall with Jen." But I'd really be going with Jaime.

"I'm sleeping over at so and so's." When really I was going to a party and probably sleeping at said party.

"I'll be out late. Don't wait up." I'd be going on a gambling cruise with alcohol involved. Or I was going to the beach to make out with some boy who would just lick my face. Blech. Boys, don't do this.

"Hi. Mom. Sorry. It's. So. Late. But. Is. It. All. Right. If. I. Spend. The. Night. At. Alexi's." I was most likely really fucked up. I think one time, I actually had my friend Jaime call my mom with some excuse that I had fallen asleep during a movie, when I was really getting trashed.

Then, I'd have to lie A LOT about hanging out with my sister. Usually, she was a "friend" I'd see on the weekends. I always wondered if my dad thought I was a lesbian or a slut for constantly staying at some random person's house when I should be visiting them. But he never asked questions, and I was relieved as once I got out of the 16 year old lying stage I quickly got annoyed with it all and realized that telling the truth is much, much easier as I don't have the best of memories and keeping up with all the lies can almost be like a second job.

Now, I'm pretty darn honest. And sometimes it gets the better of me. (Don't ask me if you're fat or what I think of your girlfriend if you want the truth. If you want a lie, ask everyone else.) So, because I am so honest, I've been asked to not go into details about certain things about me and my families matters on this blog. This, of course, sorta sucks for me because I know only a handful of people who actually read this so what does it matter if I say that I used to ask my Grandma if she ever smoked the reefer, when I knew that she was clearly senile and had no idea what reefer meant? It really doesn't matter, but I love certain people more in life than this blog so for that I guess some things will have to be left unsaid.

Happy Monday. By the week's end I'll be 27!