Other crap that's on my mind.

A website about things you probably don't care about, but I do so shove it.

Friday, July 30, 2010

One of those days.

Morning: I go into the locker room of my neighborhood gym. I trust this gym enough to not lock my stuff up. It's the first place ever that I feel comfortable doing that. Lo and behold, my jacket and keys inside said jacket were stolen. It's such a small, stupid thing but I immediately felt down about it. I felt robbed - and I was. Worse off, the man at the desk was convinced I just missplaced it and had to prove to him by walking around 3 times searching for it that it was indeed stolen. By the 3rd roundabout, I was getting teary and calling Dominic to come home cause I had no way to get into the house. He didn't pick up.

After morning: I'm thinking of ways to get into the house. I had left a message on Dominic's phone, but his phone blows huger chunks that a sorority girl at a frat party. Plus, I knew he was in a meeting that could've taken hours. I walked to my friend's house hoping she happened to be home, when I knew she was in Denver. So then I thought maybe I could climb my neighbor's shed because our second floor window was open. But then the lightbulb went off inside my noggin, and aha! Our living room window was unlocked and I climbed on through. Crisis diverted.

Afternoon: Dominic and I got an invite to go on a HUGE sailboat. This thing was totally sweet and we were very grateful to be allowed on.

Shortly after the afternoon: As we were sailing onto the Elliot Bay, I sat on one of the available chairs. Immediately thereafter, I felt like something was poking me so I stood up to move the hooks that I thought were digging into my skin, when I sat it. A bee. Yep, I sat on a bee. It stung and it hurt, but I was a big girl. It actually didn't hurt nearly as bad as when I was stung on the bottom of my foot and so I believe I'm kinda a bee charmer and can just deal with these things. Dominic was very concerned and nice and made sure I was okay, when I was all, "Sure. I'm fine. Is it red? Let's just look at the view. This is silly." I put some baking soda paste on it and voila, another crisis diverted.

Nighttime: The view of Seattle on the water was just crazy incredible. It was one of those perfect nights, where we were all eating grilled prawns and steaks and watermelon, while watching the sun go down over the Olympics. It's nights like that that make me feel alive and grateful for the things I have. The people I love. And the beauty in everything.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I remember when...

-I wasn't scared to sleep alone.
-I was dared to eat a huge ice cream sundae and did it.
-you couldn't pay me to run.
-I got stoned multiple times a day.
-I didn't even think of things like babies, a mortgage or retirement plans.
-I thought no one had the problems I had to deal with.
-I struggled to pay the rent.
-the amount of my loans was more than what I was worth.
-I didn't know much about anything.
-I only made scarves, lots and lots of scarves.
-I hated the winter in Michigan.
-I loved swimming in Florida.
-Dominic came to my cube and asked me if he could steal my music and we talked and he made me laugh.
-I got in trouble during camp and I was on the payphone with my Mom, crying in the middle of the 1996 Olympics.
-following Dave Matthews Band one summer.
-I walked down the street in hot pink shorts, listening to my ipod in one hand and Dominic's hand in the other - all while laughing hysterically on a hot, summer Seattle day.
-the feeling I had when I beat my Grandma in gin. Victorious.
-I was the laziest person ever.
-I could eat an entire carton of peanut butter cookies, still feel hungry and not gain a thing.
-someone didn't label the decaf properly at work and I almost lost my mind because suddenly I was on some crazy jittery high from way too much coffee caffeine.
-an Italian man felt pity on my friend and I, and made us dinner when we had no place to stay in Genoa.
-I laughed like a donkey.
-someone told me I talk too much.
-you say you love me.


Wednesday, July 07, 2010

So I'm in a porta potty...

WARNING: This is not for the faint of heart. There. I warned you.

Yesterday, I was planning to meet Aubrey for some crazy workout thing that involved jumping in sand and doing push ups till your arms break off. I was already worried to begin with, but what came next might just haunt me till the day I die.

Because this workout place was in the middle of a park not too far from me, I grabbed my ipod and walked there. 45 minutes later I thought I found the place, but I couldn't find anyone. And then it hit me. My stomach. Oh, my stomach. I needed a bathroom pronto and luckily I saw a sign seconds before pointing to one. So I walked a little faster.

Then Aubrey called. To me it sounded like, "Wah wah wah wah wah" because I was in some bathroom mission haze and just couldn't concentrate. I was pulling on every door in the Visitor Center without any luck. I was getting sweaty - the kind of sweaty that piles up on your forehead when you're about to shit yourself.

I saw that I was kinda in the middle of the park. I didn't hear anyone and for a split second I thought about squatting. I'd use a few leaves I thought. It would be like I was a dog, I thought.

But I just couldn't, because I knew if I did that would be the exact moment a child with a video camera trying to make his Youtube debut would be walking on by.

So, I kept walking and there it was. This shining temple of a porta potty. In reality this could've been a dumpster or a crack den, but at that point all I needed was 4 walls and a pot.

Mind you I'm still on the phone, now quivering because I'm too scared to even think about the porta potty being occupied or closed for repair. But alas, it's open and I tell Aubrey "BYE! I HAVE TO GO NOW!"

I squat and boy, oh boy, this is relief like no other. Like I've climbed to the top of Mount Rainier or I just found out I won a billion dollars in apples. But then, the unthinkable occurs to me. After 5 minutes of squatting, I go for it - the toilet paper, or as I would put it - the two tubes taunting me with nothing but its cardboard tubeness. And I sit there just staring at those tubes, because now what the fuck am I suppossed to do? With tubes? With no toilet paper and a shitty ass to wipe?

AHHHHHHHHHH! I just saw what hell must look like, and it basically looks like a big heaping pile of porta potty shit.

So, I'm scrambling - looking around for anything that could potentially be toilet paper. A sock left behind. A piece of paper. A wrapper from my gum. Anything. I had a towel that was going to be used for the work out, but that was my last resort. The towel was whiter than my teeth and I really didn't want to have to use it.

I'm still squatting at this point and the phone rings again.


"Shit, I don't. I have nothing."

"Ugh. Okay, well I'm in the shitter so just come here and I'll meet you soon."

"Where are you?"

And I'm thinking, "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I think I actually give her directions - and I have no idea how. I was in such a weird out of body experience by now that I just went with it. I told her to sit tight, I'll be right there, but I need to wipe my ass first and foremost.

And that's when I turn around and see my potential saving grace. The toilet seat cover thingie. Sure 'nof there wasn't any toilet seat covers, but there was the case that they usually come in. And THAT cardboard was easier to rip up then the tube cardboard that had no toilet paper on it. So there I was, frantically ripping up big pieces of cardboard so that I could properly cover my hand and wipe.

And thank god this was one of those poops that magically didn't leave a lot behind. The crisis was slowly coming to an end. I even had enough cardboard to place on the seat since squatting for that long was now making my legs wobbly. I took a seat and contemplated what was happening around me. It was laughable, and scary and I knew it would be a story to tell.

We never did end up finding the crazy workout place so we took a walk around the park instead. I actually found a real bathroom at some point and ran in for a proper wipe and a good hand washing. And then I saw a pretty view of water and mountains and tried to forget the whole thing.

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