Yes, all of you royaly suck.

You all suck.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I know I watch my fair share of pure crap of television (even Inferno II). But after a long night in Detroit, I decided to take my sweet ass time getting to work this morning. So, I scrolled through the list of shows Steve and I have on the DVR, and something shocking appeared before me. Dancing with the Stars!!! I literally almost shit myself right then and there. STEVE TAPED THIS SHOW! So, when he came downstairs I had to give him shit immediately. He played the, I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about, card. But secretly I think he just wants to do the cha-cha with these has beens. Maya, I'd be very worried if I were you! Hehe.

All right, I must burn a crap ton of cds now. Did you know you can get a hundred bucks off your ipod if you show your student ID to Apple? I'll just have to look 18 again. Score!!

Casino. Not just a memory, but a way to slack off at work.

I can shuffle like a badass!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

It's my last few times at the studio, and weirdly enough there's nothing really to do. We cut the spots, did the dispatch and John and I were just bored when he suggested cards. I love playing cards, and never have anyone to play with (euchre doesn't count. that game still confuses the shit out of me.), so of course I agreed and had him pick the game. He asked if I knew Casino, and my eyes lit up. I haven't played this game since I was about 16. And for the longest time I couldn't even remember the name of this game. I actually asked my mother once if she remembered what game consisted of 4 cards and points and blah blah, and she just thought I was on something looney (which might have been the case). But once John and I started playing, it all came back to me. It immediately made me miss my grandma. Staying up till 2 in the morning playing Casino and Gin with her, and either The Love Connection or some cooking show would be on in the background. We'd shoot the shit, and she'd tell me about the good ol' days when men actually delivered milk. These games/talks/insights that would eventually make me who I am today were awesome. I only wish I had known better to record these events, because I can't remember shit now and I know I'll definitely forget or embellish the stories when (if?) I have me some kiddies. Anyway, today all I needed was a little refresher and bam I was back into the game. John won of course, but I put up a good fight.

All right. That's all for today. My goal for the next two weeks is to burn as many cds as possible, and leave early/come in late every day until D day. The D stands for Damn, I'm friggin' excited I got me a kick ass raise!

Fireworks and boys commence tonight in downtown Detroit. Hopefully no one will be shot. Because I just heard this story of 6 people biting the bullet during last year's festivities. What is wrong with these people? Don't answer that.

Dr. Phil and The New Opportunity

Have a problem? Call 1-800-Idon'tfuckingcare.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

A few hours ago I started writing about this Dr. Phil situation that Caitlin brought to my attention, but first things first.

I got a new job at BBDO! See ya's later old job. Or at least see ya's later in 2 weeks. It's still Detroit, which still blows, but the money was right and this time I really will buy an ipod and maybe a lot more things. Jessie, I'll totally be visiting you now!!

As for everyone I'll miss, you know who you are and I won't get misty or some lame girly shit like that, but I'm glad I made friends so quickly. You guys rock da hizzouse.

I'll miss the free smoothies most of all. Hehe.

Okay, back to this crazy Dr. Phil shit. I get a call from Caitlin a few weeks ago about some chick in our sorority. Garble bargle bee, some dude proposed to her on DR. PHIL!!!!! Huh, what? I can't believe I actually know this person. Well, really I don't. I mean she was there the same time we were, but when Caitlin said Jen something, I knew I'd definitely not remember the chick. There's like over a hundred girls when we were there, and I was lucky if I could remember everyone in our pledge class. So, I just looked up the episode and sure enough I remembered the face and still thought, "Why the fuck would you do something like that? What is wrong with people? Why do people want to be on TV so bad? Why do people want the world to know that her soon-to-be fiance has problems with getting married. That his last girlfriend cheated on him 14 times?"

I don't want to know that. And I'm sure you don't either, and besides who cares when I just got me the fuck out of here!

Peace.

Ouch!

You silly little star.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I can only imagine that Kelly has 3rd degree burns today (because she's Irish and really fucking white). Yesterday she actually agreed to go to Stoney Creek with me to walk! I go all the time and invite her, and she always declines, so I sorta stopped asking. Plus, I like to walk fast and she just doesn't have it in her- yet. Anyway, silly me forgot to put sunscreen on, and I didn't realize how burned I got until about 9 at night, after a few beers and a few Simpsons. I have the silliest razorback burn just on my shoulders and back. My stomach is pale as a ghost, which means this 4 and 1/2 day weekend will have to consist of getting that tummy to match my lower and upper halves.

In the world of music, I borrowed Architecture in Helsinki from Maya (Luke no need to burn for me) and then she left to go back to Ann Arbor. So, now that I conveintly forgot to give it back (hehe), I'm gonna burn the shit out of this kick ass cd. The band is just great! The only way I can possibly describe it is if you imagined Fraggle Rock had a band and then mixed their sounds with The Labyrinth soundtrack. After lots o' margaritas on Friday, Steve, Maya and I walked home and sang Do the Whirlwind all the way there. When I played it for Kelly though, she said, "What is this clicky klackity buggeldy boggeldy music?" Okay, she really didn't say that, but I know that's what she thought. And I said, "It's pure genius!"

Let's all try and have a most excellent week.

Peace.

I've been meaning to tell you something.

Just do it!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

It's finally hot up in here. And I mean hot. Like in the 90's. And it's glorious!! I just wish I knew more people with pools so I can use them and lay out all day long. I know Leo has one, but I swear I don't think he's kidding when he said he'd have to charge us.

As for the weekend goes, I'm gonna attempt to get my shit together. I've been meaning to do these things since I moved here:

1. Get contacts. I'm really one of those people that look completely different with glasses, and I just can't take it anymore!

2. Take my clothes to Goodwill. There has been a pile of crap in my car and somehow it's moved from the trunk to the backseat of my car as a constant reminder to give it away already.

3. Teach Steve the fine art of doing and putting away the dishes. We actually had our first roommate tiff awhile back about this (very minor). I'm okay with not putting dishes away after a day or two, but after that it's just plain gross, especially when I have to scrape spagetti crap off of his dishes from Sunday. Yuk!

4. Get some kind of calendar that will force me to have a schedule of events. I won't really ever do this, but it's a nice thought. I'm really more of a keep it all in my head if it's really important kinda gal, but I've noticed lately that there are just so many summertime having fun events to do that I can't keep them straight anymore.

5. Oh, give Mark that check. (I swear I'll give that to you. I won't forget!)

6. Do more work with Nicole. She'll never get anything done without my help, and I just keep finding other things to do. One campaign down, another to go.

7. Sit down in front of the computer and have a one on one with my good ol' pal - my bank account. Then, once we shoot the shit and remember the good ol' days maybe I can find a way to actually save money to buy an ipod and visit friends. This will never ever happen! Argh!!

Okay, lame list but I'm off to Mexican Town to get burritos and margaritas (for free - mwhaha!) with the studio folk. Adios Amigos!!

Camping and other crap.

The best breakfast EVER!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Okay, so I'm late with the camping update, and instead of repeating everything Maya said:

Camping Kicks Major Ass

I'll give you the random highlights she forgot to mention:

1. "I thought you were a boy." said a little girl. "Maya, I have to grow my hair," I said to Maya.

2. He-man. Isn't that a little redundant?

3. Steve can sure play those bongos!

4. We can scream as loud as we want and no one will hear us.

5. I want to whittle.

6. I have a major PO-operation to take.

7. How awesome would it be if the trees started talking to us. Well, not right now, but later on, it would be totally awesome.

8. Ahhh, camping.

So, there you go. Camping equals good. I wish I lived there or at least had a little cabin for the summertime. Maya and I both agreed that the dirty feeling you get feels nice. And that the only way to truly have a decent meal is to cook over a bitchin' fire.

I bid adieu.

No, no. I'm little Barrie.

I'm Famous!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So, I always figured I'd be a roadie or writing songs for Justin Timberlake, but now I don't have to because there's a band known as Little Barrie! Even spelled just like mine. I was secretly hoping some random joe met me and was inspired, but the lead singer is a dude named Barrie (which is weird, right? don't boys spell it Barry??). Anyhoo, I feel even uberly famous because Little Barrie was on NPR (thanks maya), so I'm bound to be a sensation any day now. Get out your sharpies, I've been practicing my autographing skills for years now!

As for camping... crap, I have to go to a meeting. Update in a few.

Word.

You sure as shit don't get this in the Sunshine State.

Looky looky. I'll be right there!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Today I'm on a mission. Actually, we all are. Of course, I'm at the studio and it's a very busy day, but I scheduled everything early so that I could jet out by 2ish. I'll actually be at two places at once because I'm doing radio upstairs and tv downstairs. Whoa, I know what you're thinking and no, I'm not Dr. Sam Beckett from one of my favorite childhood sci-fi shows, Quantum Leap. I just know how to multi-task like a mean mofo.

As for where I'm camping, looky over to the right. That's where. How perty, right? You definitely don't get this kind of view in Georgia or Florida, so I have a feeling I'll be in for a special treat this weekend. Or lots of sand in my hair. Either way, good times will be had by all.


Goodbye cellphones, oh, how I hate you so.
Goodbye skippy (DVR), I'll catch up with you later.
Goodbye internet, I'll miss you most of all.

Goodbye.

Um, hardly.

Not only are you a superstar, you're a role model.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

A recent poll says most stars make poor role models. No shit. Who needs a poll to determine that.

Plus, who the fuck is making these polls? I want that job.

"Hey, man, after you I take a hit off that dank shit, we should make a poll."

"About what?"

"Stars being role models. I think they are."

"I don't. Go fuck yourself."

"Okay, I will. But more importantly, puff puff give man, puff puff give."

All right, I'm a little tired and sorta played a little hookey from work for a bit. But I'm back, and I still don't get the whole role model thing.

One moron who answered the stupid poll said that these stars don't have morals because they get divored and sleep around. But, who doesn't? I mean I know a girl who took accidently took a shit in a Nordstrom bathroom (not in the toilet- on the floor), but she's only human, right? People and their fucking morals. Give me a break, Nell Carter. Oh, wait, you're dead. Damnit!

Let's hear it for camping.

Wohoo!!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Tomorrow I'm heading out on a camping adventure. We invited about 25 people, and only Steve, Maya and I are going. How funny. Everyone has an excuse. A.K.A. Everyone is lame.

I have to run errands now. I'll write more later.

Word.

I'll be running to the grave thank you very much.

Happy Birthday you old hag.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I missed the game last night because I was literally exhausted from running 2.25 miles and then walked 3.75 (maya, i'm so proud of myself!!). Not only did I miss the game, but I also missed the chance to super flirt with one of Steve's hotter friends, even if he is way out of my league. So, when I woke up at 4 am to get a drink of water, with bags under my eyes and my hair all out of wack, of course Steve and super hot friend were sitting on the couch looking at me with crazy eyes. Ho hum.

This month is the month of birthday's. Jen's was on Sunday, Caitlin's was yesterday, Kelly's is tomorrow and my dad's is on the 28th. Good thing I'm poor and my friends know this, so cards are the gift this month. As for you Gemini's, I read the Onion and here's your horoscope, you old hags. Enjoy.

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
In a certain light, from just the right angle, you will begin to bear an uncanny resemblance to Abe Lincoln.

Man, how bad do I want to write for those funny bastards. Doesn't everyone? Well, don't you?


P.S. I finally went to the dreaded doc yesterday, where I realized I'm doomed for death sooner than later. My reasoning? She asked if anyone in my family has had the following:

Heart Disease: Yes
Cancer: Yes, yes and yes
Diabetes: Yes
Alzhiemers: Yes
Osteoporois (sp?): Yes
Thryoid disease: Yes
Stroke: Yes
Problems childbearing: Yes
Mental health problems: No! Yay! One for me. Then I thought, well, that's probably not true. No one's been tested for it or confessed to it, so really it could be a yes, or undetermined. Ho hum.

Final Score:

Death: 9 Life: 1 (sort of)

See ya's in da grave. (Mommy, don't get all mommy on me now. I'm just playin' here.)

Batman and The Molestor.

That's the ugliest babies I've ever seen.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Okay, real quick here.

Michael Jackson and a Dog


Now, I'm about to spoil shit for you, so if you haven't seen Batman Begins, then don't read below.

Things I liked about Batman Begins:

1. How fucking hot is Christian Bale? That scary American Psycho image of him chasing prostitutes with chainsaws was totally erased from my memory once I saw him in that bat suit, without that bat suit, doing push ups, should I go on? Okay, smiling, talking deeply, flying and just standing their looking fucking hot!

2. The first half hour was good. Sorta X-Men type of feel to it. I liked the fact that he didn't just become batman out of thin air. They went through the process, like Spiderman. He had to train, and make enemies and was in jail and had to walk miles in the snow. And they actually showed the scene with his parents dying. That was all good and well.

3. Gotham. I liked the art direction. Props to showing the city in the good ol' days compared to the crappy days. Bums and freaks galore. Wait a minute, was that Gotham or Detroit? (sorry maya, i had to do it)

Okay, enough of that. Now for the shitty parts.

1. Fucking Katie "I'm riding on this Cruise trip until the Batman franchise is over" Holmes. I wanted to smack that crooked smile off her face.

2. Too many enemies. At first there was the mob dude, then it sorta seemed like the bad cop was gonna go psycho, but didn't. Then the psychriast went all weird and then finally Liam Neeson came back for one last horrah.

3. No explanations. Why did Liam's character hate Gotham so much? And why did he hate Batman too? All the hottie did was save his life. So, he blew up his house, but he gets to live (in the beginning at least)!!

4. Deja vu. Is Jack Nicholson gonna revive his role in the next movie? Why are they doing the Jocker bit again? Aren't these NEW enstallments suppose to be pre-Michael Keaton? I'm confused. I also didn't read comic books as a kid, so I also have no idea what I'm talking about.

5. The two endings. I thought the movie ended with Bale and Michael Cain. As did everyone else, because we all stood up. Haha. Fake ending. Cue Gary Oldman (who played a good guy pretty good, but still couldn't shake his bad guy persona from a much better movie- The Professional- off my mind) talking to Batman so they can set up the sequel. I had the feeling, the director was editing and gave the movie his blessing. Then a day before it's release realized they were missing that vital set up for sequel scene. They tagged this weird conversation at the end and said voila! Lame.

6. IT WAS TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG. MOVIE PEOPLE, NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE LIVES. STOP MAKING MOVIES SO DAMN LONG. OR AT LEAST MAKE THE SEATS MORE COMFORTABLE.

Final Grade: B-

If you care about my weekend, then read on.

Don't fret. It's just a metal pick chipping away at your teeth.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Starting from last week:

Friday- had some drinks, met some single boys, got tired, smoked a cigar, realized i don't like cigars and went to sleep.

Saturday- woke up at 11!!! the latest i've slept in probably a year. went on a 7 mile walk with maya at stoney creek!! legs were super sore, but i was impressed that i was able to walk that far in about an hour and a half. you rock legs o' steel! watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and didn't get too depressed.

Sunday- i actually went to the MALL (GASP!) and then i even bought clothes (DOUBLE GASP!). i'm actually a little proud that this is the first time i went to the mall (going with mark during christmas for 15 minutes doesn't count- i didn't buy anything) in over a year. luckily, i only spent 50 bucks on a shirt, skirt and pants all at express. who doesn't love sales? i know i do. and i also know i shouldn't buy any more clothes, especially since i just told caitlin i couldn't go to atlanta because i don't have the money, but i just couldn't resist a skirt for 15 bucks. so there.

Today- went to the dentist. requested the bubble gum flavor just to see if it actually tasted like bubble gum. it didn't. stole a sticker that said remember to brush and floss with a cartoon dancing tooth. then i put it on my work notebook. i think that's funny for some reason. i don't care what you think.

tonight, i'll be seeing batman begins for free! man, i should make a website of all the free things i get in life.

for instance, at 3 pm there's a free ice cream party at the office! i'd like sprinkles please.

as for the rest of the week, there's kelly's birthday and camping on the weekend.

oh, and i have to buy a slip for the new skirt i just purchased. i think that makes me a grown-up.

that's all for now. sorry if i was not very interesting. wait a minute, no i'm not sorry. you can all suck it. hehe.


P.S. I totally forgot about a weird thing that happened yesterday. A bird decided to have a heat stroke on our porch. It was the weirdest thing ever. The poor guy didn't move for a few hours, but was gasping for air. It's a little strange when you can walk right up to a bird knowing that it's suppose to immediately fly off and doesn't. So Steve gave it some shade by surrounding it with chairs. Then on the way to the mall, he dropped it off at the animal shelter where they probably killed it and fed it to kittens. Ho hum.

P.S.S. Maya, I just realized you should've taken pictures of that.

Someone give me something to do!

bored
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

It's Friday! Yay for Friday! Except it's so fucking slow right now I think time is actually going backwards. And of course, I have to wait another hour to go to the studio and everyone went to lunch so I have no one to talk to. Argh. And I keep checking my regularly visited blogs and no one's written anything new. Damn you people. Give me something here!

This would be a good opportunity to make cd's or do other semi-productive things, but I won't because I just won't.

As for the weekend, I have no plans. Oh wait, that's a lie. I have to work with Nicole. I have to clean the house. I have to sit my ass on the couch and watch the TV I've missed in the last week. Thanks a lot summer for the reruns, now what am I suppose to do?

As for finding a man, I went to the neighbors house yesterday. Lo and behold, there were about 20 people there. Half guys/Half girls/EVERYONE MARRIED! It's pointless I tell you, complete waste of time, why do I even bother batting my eyes?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Deeeetroooooooooiiiiitttttttt Basketballofhotstinkycrap
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Soooooooooooo. Tired. Drank too much. Watched. The. Whole. Game.

Never. Again.

Can't. Even. Write.

Must. Go. To. Meeting. Now. I'm. So. Slow. Today.

Must. Sleep. Now. Eyes. Getting. Droopy.

Will. Type. More. Later. When. Coffee. Kicks. In.

Bye.

It's hot and I hate doctors.

The doctor is in- my pants!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I love that it's finally really sweaty hot here. All you Detroit people can suck it. Or at least stop complaining, cause having nice sunny hot weather is hands down better than dealing with that white/greyish shit you people call snow.

Today, I got to sleep in and catch up on an old 90210. Great episode where David is addicted to speed and then loses his sister at the park. No, not Kelly, that other blonde bitch.

Then, I went to the doctors. It's a good thing I give these so-called doc's every piece of information about me, right down to what color underwear I'm wearing (black, at the moment, thank you very much), so that when I come in and the receptionist tells me that, "Oops sorry , the doctor is going to have to reschedule. How's 7:20 AM next week?" I just wonder with the 50 emergency numbers I had to fork over and my work and cell number that they couldn't find a way to reach me before I dragged myself out there. Ho fucking hum. You know what's worse than actually going to the doctors, is being rejected by one and having to do the whole process again.

Hopefully I'll be camping next weekend near Lake Michigan. Super Duper Freakin' Excited! Dear God, It's me Barrie. Remember me? We had a few drinks last week? Anyway, please, pretty please, with a cherry on top, make it be sunny and beautiful next weekend.

In other news, it's still Thursday. Enjoy it.

Don't tell me to sit bitch!

"I hate sitting," said the annoying ugly dog.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

The concert went a little something like this.

1. Got there, and thought I should sell my extra tickets but I didn't feel like waiting around so I stupidly didn't. And come to think of it, I only heard one guy ask for extra tickets, and I'm pretty sure he was a bum.

2. Camper Van Beethoven opened. They were good. They played "their song". And everyone was happy.

3. I bought two of the tiniest beers for 5 dollars each. And they only had Budweiser? What is wrong with Detroit.

4. MODEST MOUSE COMES ON!!! YIPPEY!! Okay, so they come on sort of out of nowhere. They play their songs. They make me happy.

5. This is when I noticed that I'm the only one standing and dancing around in the balcony area. Okay, maybe 5 other people were standing, but in my vicinity I was the only one. I thought this was just weird. Come on people, WE"RE AT A CONCERT FOR CHRIST"S SAKE!!! You can sit when you're old?! So, I just figured, okay everyone is pretty much lame and I don't care, I'm gonna dance!

6. That's when I caught a security guards' eye and he motions for me to sit down. I wasn't in the aisle blocking traffic. I wasn't even blocking anyone (at least I don't think so- even if I was, I just didn't care, because remember WE WERE AT A CONCERT, NOT A FUCKING PLAY, PEOPLE!) So, here's what happened:

Security guard mouths to me, "Sit down."

I mouth back, "No." and continue to dance.

Security guard mouths back, "No, sit down."

I mouth back, "Um, no. IT"S A CONCERT, SO NO I WILL NOT SIT DOWN."

Now, it was getting to the point of principles. After this little mouthing exchange, I just ignored the security guard. After seeing his gay fucking pony tail out of the corner of my eye for about another minute, he finally realized he was a loser/dumb ass and walked away to catch some kids smoke pot.

7. As far as concerts go, it wasn't the best and yet it wasn't the worst. They played almost all out of the new album and a handful of their old songs. Whenever the lead singer spoke, you couldn't really understand him. And when they left the stage, they just left in a way like, "yeah yeah, you'll know we'll be back for an encore so we're not gonna even pretend." And then they came back for the encore, ended on Good Times are Killing Me (my personal favorite on that album) and once again just sorta left. No hand waves good-bye. No thank you Detroit. Nothing. Just sorta weird. Honest to goodness, I think I liked seeing them at the parking lot of Junkman's Daughter for free when they weren't big, and only played about 10 songs more than last night. BUT it was still a good concert nonetheless.

MORAL OF THE STORY: DETROIT SUCKS!

Oh, and Nicole's brother asked if I was a lesbian!!! I wonder if he knows that girls who don't have boyfriends and live in Detroit, could be hetero. Either way, I'm growing out my hair. Because that just made me really sad.

No, you're the best.

Wax this bitch.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Before Nicole, Steve and I walked to the WAB to watch the game, we had to all watch a very special montage on South Park. A speedy rendition of You're the Best, by Joe Espisito (sp?), was playing in the background while the gang was trying to lose at softball. The premise of the episode isn't the important part here. It's the fact that I've been singing, "You're the best around. No one's gonna ever keep you down." over and over and over again in my head, and sometimes out loud. It's got one of the catchiest tunes ever. It's a great, get up and kick that guy's ass and then shoot some shit and then get laid for being a bad ass kinda song. I'd even say it's better than the Rocky song and We are the Champions, but that's just me. In fact, it got me so inspired that I thought it would be a totally awesome spot for Starbucks. And in my drunken stupor yesterday, came up with the bright idea that I should write to the Creative Director of the Starbucks account and tell him that he should make this into a spot and thus hire me because of my totally wicked awesome idea. Luckily, I got distracted with flickering lights and the wind, so I didn't find his email. But, I'm still thinking about it (I might still be drunk).

P.S. MODEST MOUSE TONIGHT. NOTE ALL THE CAPS!

Question?

Do you ever constantly check your yahoo and gmail in hopes that your friends will provide you with something fun/interesting/anything at all to read? I've been doing this all day long, and so far I've only had 3 emails from Maya and two of those were just an accidental repeat. Oh, wait and one from Clubmom (don't laugh- I get points/free things for pretending to be a mother- it's crazy awesome!) Kelly is MIA, and everyone else is on ichat (oh, how glorious you are). Me bored. All I want is to know what you're doing right at this very moment, so I can keep this procrastination going for a bit longer.

Crying is my forte.

Boo fucking hoo.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I was reading something about this site in EW and thought I'd check it out. Why don't you waste some of your own time today and do the same.

Crying while Eating

How peculiar, right? I mean I didn't quite get it. Is it some weird fetish thing? Ooh, which reminds me of my old roommate. She use to do the foot fetish thing for extra cash, but I really think she did it just to say she did it, because she was weird, and weird people seem to always do things like that. And then there was this time when Beth and I went backpacking around Europe, and we were doing nothing in France (probably cause we were tired of the French food and the Eifel tower wasn't all that great) when I was watching tv and the only thing in English was cigarette porn. What's cigarette porn you may ask yourself? Well, I didn't know either until watching 15 minutes of a girl French inhaling a Marbolro Menthol. There would be close ups of her mouth and nose, and she would ask if you liked the way she smoked. Crazy French bastards. I mean it was absolutely ridiculous. I couldn't understand why any guy would be turned on by that. Just another reason why I'll never understand the XY chromos.

In other news, someone I know says Deaf when they mean to say Death.

My secret is this.

Go here:

Shh!

Man, I have so many secrets. And I've told most of them (that's right, just most) to someone I shouldn't have. The next time I do, I'll make sure he's the one and not just the one for now. Ho hum.

This is for you sport people.

Holy crap, that ball is on fire!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

This is my very first entry that will feature something I don't know anything about, so my apologies if I sound girly. What I do know is this-The Heat whooped Pistons ass, by, like, a lot! Not sure how much exactly because I was drunk by the end of it all, but I know the game was a wash. It was sort of funny to sit amongst a bar filled with Piston fans (and a table filled with guys). In the beginning, they would scream for just about anything, when the points were just 2 or 3 apart. But once the 2nd quarter came and went, everything just went sorta quiet. Hence, the drinking and advertising talk began. I didn't realize they play all the good commercials during the game. It was great (oh, I'm such a dork, I know). Anyway, it was fun to be the only person there rooting for the other team, even if I don't care, it's always interesting competition for conversation sake.

Discovered a new bar in Ferndale, and Maya, we have to go to that fancy looking one on Allen (I think that's where it is, could be Pinecrest). And of course, the roommate and I had to keep the night going with a little Jewish Reggae as he pounded away on the bongos. All in all, a fun evening and now I just wish the grey would go away so I could have a tan-filled weekend.

Let's break some bread bitch!

Me, you and a sheet. Enough said.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Holy shit! This guy rocks. I was milling around at work, when Lew showed me this:



Shalom This


How much does this hasidic rock da hizzouse? Man, if he shaved off that beard, removed that yamulecah off his keppie and ate bacon with his eggs I'd so do him. Go get his cd right now. He's awesome, and of course he's coming nowhere near Michigan. I wish I was going to Bonnaroo again (because he'll be there- on non Shabbat days of course), but I don't have a grand to waste on 3 days of glorious fun.

In other news, I saw the cheesiest thing since a slice of hot, stinky linberger -- a couple holding hands whilst rollerblading. Are you vomitting yet?

In other slightly non bitchy news...

Hello hottie!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

To make up for my harsh ranting, I will tell you what happened at the gym today.

This old dude, who is always very talkative even if I'm wearing my headphones, asked me today if I work or if I was still in HIGH SCHOOL! Not sure what kinda crack this old bastard was smoking, but I need to know his dealer. I told him, "No, sir. I work." Then he says, "Well, if you work as hard as you work out, then you must be doing a good job." I was mortified! The only guy that has hit on me in like 9 months is a dirty old (like at least 75!) weirdo. I HAVE TO GET OUT OF MICHIGAN!!!

And with that, I bid adieu.

What pressure.

If you were a t-shirt wearing bear, I'd be friends with you forever too.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So, I decided that it's just too hard to be friends with some people. I'm cutting you off, friend that shall remain nameless. You're too sensitive. We're just not what we were way back when. YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING! And then you ask me questions like, "Well, why aren't you talking to Nik anymore. Did he decide that?" Once again I am just shocked that you actually said that to me, in which I reply, "No, actually, that was all me. And plus, why do we have to keep talking about that. We broke up almost a year ago! I'm sorry if I'm the only girl you know that's independent and doesn't need a guy to tell her what to do or think, and that it's so shocking that I might have the upper hand. AHHHHHHH!" Okay, that was a little exaggerated, but you get the picture here. I actually had to call my sister right after our conversation, because I just wanted to talk to someone normal (actually, my sister was 3rd on the list, but Caitlin and Beth never answer their phone). I admit, I'm not the nicest person in the world. I know I shouldn't talk behind this person's back, but I actually do think that was the last time I'm gonna call her. Sure, she might get an invitation to my wedding (if that ever happens), but I just think we've grown too far apart. I hate tiptoeing around people. Having to backtrack everytime I say anything because you're being sensitive, or have a headache or your puppy just took a shit on your bed can get tiring. Why can't you ever just be? Ugh.

On the flip side, we did have fun when we were young and I shall remember you fondly.