It's already Sunday?

I hate endings!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I'm happy the weekend is upon us. Not that this was an extremely busy one, but with the roommate gone, I get to enjoy the little things.

Like:

1. Sitting on the couch all day long watching Sex and the City reruns on On Demand, without hearing snickering comments in the background.

2. Same goes for any type of reality tv.

3. I don't have to shut the door to the bathroom!

4. I can turn the radio on really fucking loud!

5. As much as I enjoy watching the boys kill eachother in San Andreas, I don't enjoy it while I'm trying to sleep in the next room. So, yay for peace and quiet during bedtime.


But, the downside to the weekend is it goes by way too fast. I mean I already feel like it's Sunday and I have to go to work tomorrow (which, I actually do have to do, except not techinally for work reasons). I need to move to Europe, where I'd have 3 months vacation and 3 hour lunches, and I'd smoke cigarettes and wear chic clothes and probably highlight my hair with pink tips. Ooh la la.

P.S. I just got my tax return today, and I almost immediately bought a 40g ipod with my newfound money. I stopped myself, because I realized I need fixin' on my car and I still really want to go to Europe/Mexico. I just can't decide what to do. But, all I know is finally, my poor (literally) little bank account is thriving with loads of dollars. Yay for money being on my side today!

P.P.S (or is it P.S.S? oh, fuck it) I didn't mean to sound like I don't like my roommate. Mark, you rock! Compared to my last roommate, you'd get a roommate award for being the best. And it's a plus that you own real adult furniture.

I almost killed myself with Bed Head.

Dude, I have a brush you can borrow.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Dear Bed Head associates (the product, not the effect of flat hair on one side, crazy man hair on the other):

Your product sucks! Sure it makes my hair manageable and all that shit, but what good is that if I almost slit my wrists handling the plastic deathtrap you call a container.

I noticed the deteoritation of the bottle 2 weeks ago. I heard a little crack. Then, yesterday it happened, much like my friend Caitlin, who randomly lost her convertible top while driving on 85 (I would have shit myself), the bottle quite suddenly broke in half. This then left me with a mess of green glittery bed head gunk all over me, and a sharp portion of plastic just wanting to jab my arm. Luckily, I stole your crap product from my mom so I didn't waste 15 bucks on some popular hair styling mechanism, but still, I could've died! Or at the very least had a little cut that required the tiniest of band-aids.

Rainbows are so screwed.

Damn it, rainbow. Why are you so gay?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I think rainbows are pretty. But I know I'd have no shot in hell to ever get a boyfriend if I put a rainbow sticker on my car (which I would never do anyway, because then i'm stuck with that sticker on my car forever. a friend put a mossimo sticker on her car in high school and every time i think about it i still laugh), or if I even drew a rainbow on a card or something. When did they become so gay? Gay friends- don't be mad. It's the truth. You've ruined it for us all! Hehe.

The reason I'm even bringing rainbows up is because Maya just sent me the most fucked up shit I've ever seen and I'm actually disappointed my parents didn't make me watch this as a kid (hey mom!) as I would be 10 times funnier/cooler if they let me watch this instead of Mister Rogers. Check this out.

Rainbow Episode


It's this show called Rainbow, and I'm wondering how the hell we got away with this shit back then. It's one sexual innuendo after another. They talk about playing with balls and special friends and the likes of that. They would say things that basically translated to: I blew this guy last night, and he surprised me with a pearl necklace. But for some reason we're still talking about Janet Jackson's little nipple? World, what the fuck.

Did that happen yesterday?

The stiching and bitching convention begins.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Things I did whilst drunk between the hours of 4-8 in the pm.

1)Arm wrestled fellow co-worker (and lost obviously)

2)Hi, Nik, it's me. Just calling to say hi (burp). Call me whenever.

3)Hung up phone and banged head against wall 3 times because I shouldn't be calling ex boyfriends when drunk.

4)Saw Cherry from Punky Brewster on a UPN show. Called Nicole immediately to share the news.

5)Thought up 2 big ideas. Tried to remember them. Then woke up this morning realizing, man, I'm wicked stupid.

6)Drank glass of water. Oh my god, it's only 8:30 and I'm way trashed. Head meet pillow. zzzzzzz


I couldn't believe I fell asleep that early and then was able to go to the gym at 6:30 am. Now, I just feel like crap.

Tonight is the finale of Project Runway, and of course it's the same night the Stitch n' Bitch lady is coming to Ann Arbor for a one time only appearance and book signing. I can't resist, so I'm taping Project Runway. I know some of you must be thinking, "Barrie, stop smoking da crack. How can you miss the last episode of the best new show ever!" And to that I say, "Calm down. Hopefully, my tape won't be eaten by VCR and I'll be able to watch it, just a few hours later than everyone else." I can't believe knitting is taking priority over my tv viewing, but I guess as I become an adult I have to make these big decisions. And this is one of them. Hehe.

Just finished making new pilates cd and I think it just might be better than the last! Yay for me. I really need to send one of these to Starbucks and become flithy rich. But right now I'm too busy writing blogs and radio spots. Speaking of writing... I should work. Back with more crap concerning me and my sad sad life later.

Peace.

And other movies I haven't seen.

I sure as shit didn't see this flick!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I've seen a lot of movies. I've also seen a shit ton that I'm embarrased to admit that I even slightly enjoyed (Center Stage?, Beaches?- that one where the guy has to put on some dance in order to save the school- damn it I can't remember the name, but it was damn good! don't make fun- I'm still a girl damn it!). But with all the movies I've seen, I haven't seen ones that I should have seen. I know I should see these because they're classics or they are just manadatory pop culture movies that will make your life a little smoother when it comes to cocktail parties and whatnot (like I'm going to fucking cocktail parties- i rather slit wrists!). Anyway, because I've decided to blog and make cd's today, here is my list of movies I should've seen but for some reason haven't.

1. The 2nd and 3rd installment of Indiana Jones. I actually just saw the first one about 6 months ago. I know, I'm like 20 years late, maybe even more. Besides there's a Harrison Ford look a like at work, so I don't think I'm missing much.

2. The Star Wars with the wookies. I rented it, and ended up doing school work the whole time. I occasionally looked up when said wookie was on screen, but that's as far as I got.

3. Citizen Kane. I think I know what happens in the end. It's written on a sled or something, right?

4. Dr. Strangelove or how... I know Peter Sellers is in it and that's about it. Oh, and that it's funny and I should probably see it.

5. Gone with the Wind. Why would I toture myself. It seems so damn long. No energy to see a rich bitch go all poor and use curtains for a evening gown. No energy at all.

6. Midnight Cowboy, Blazing Saddles, Raging Bull, Casablanca, It's a Wonderful Life (well, at least not all of it in one whole sitting), The Exorcist, The French Connection, Brazil (do I want to see this? heard it's fucked up and maybe a little too strange..), Unforgiven, Airplane!, and come to think of it I don't remember ever seeing Bambi, Saturday Night Fever, oh, and Taxi Driver.

7. And last, and of course not at the least, The Notebook. A wonderful tale of 2 lovers who grow old and most likely make a shitty movie together. If Jessica Simpson wants it on DVD I can betcha 10 bucks it fucking blows.

Yay for burning cds today! Double yay for pilates instructor insisting that she must pay me. I've told her numerous times she doesn't have to, but there just comes a point in the offering money/no, no it's okay really phase of a conversation where I just have to give in. I'm giving in, biotches!

Peace.

I am so damn tired. Maybe I'm getting old.

The light in my cube is blinding me!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So, by my own stupidity I've decided to work out in the morning instead of after work. Which would make sense to most people, because you get it out of the way. You get to eat dinner at a normal hour, and you probably get more done. And to that I say blah fucking blah. I woke up at 6:30 and was already pissed at the world. I can't imagine that I would have to ever wake up any earlier for let's say a crying baby, or even worse 2 crying babies- but I know for a fact that people do this all the time. I've heard that some people actually wake up at 5! I guess it's called being an adult. But I hate this adult thing. I like to do what I want when I want. Isn't that what an adult really means? I'm losing train of thought.... So, I did the gym thing thinking, maybe this will make my day better. I'll be awake. I'll be fresh. I'll have more time to watch tv. This is great! But, now it's only 9:37 and I'm so fucking tired I could pull a George Cantstandya and sleep under my desk for at least 5 hours, if it wasn't for this blinding light shining from above. The light is making me see things I probably shouldn't admit to seeing, and I think I could be losing it. Good thing there's another free food and drinks event or I couldn't make it through the day. I'll try the am workout for the week and decide whether the morning life is for me. Right now my vote is leaning towards a big fat no.

Yay for today being a half day!

Rated R for Really Fucking Gross.

The scene of the crime.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

This is the actual picture of the actual leg that was stuck in my actual car. Don't vomit. Okay, vomit. How fucking messed up is this? Art director suggested it was some kind of voodoo. I haven't experienced any weird back pains or sudden jerks, but if I do I'm blaming the chicken leg.

As for other shit in my life:

Yay for the new guy that will hopefully take some of the pressure off shit.

Yay for getting off early tomorrow to eat free food.

Yay for going to Ann Arbor again to see the Stitch n' Bitch lady.

Yay for me for making my very first fingerless gloves. They are so awesome. I can't wait for spring to come already so I can wear them every day.

Yay for brushing and flossing 2 times daily. It really does work. Dentist was impressed and there wasn't as much blood. Still have to go back in 3 months for lack of going for the last 5 years. My bad.

Yay for 2 blogs in one day.

Yay for chickens that have 2 legs.

Fear and Loathing somewhere else now.

Fear and Loathing somewhere else now
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Man, he was only 67 and now he's dead. Shot himself in the head. Sorry, I didn't mean to rhyme. I just don't have any time (damn it!). I guess you sort of have to figure that much from a crazy loon like him. And for anyone who doesn't know who he is (Nicole!), just rent Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas for the cliff notes. Ooh, or that Buffalo movie with Bill Murray- that was a good one too. Anyway, this will be a short blog. Just wanted to bring this to everyone's attention.

Hunter S. Thompson R.I.P
July 18, 1937-February 20, 2005

The day started off on the wrong foot. Literally.

If this is a metaphor for something, I'm screwed.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Is it just me, or is it normal to find a chicken foot lodged into the spoiler of your Nissan? So, it's not just me. This happens to everyone? Oh, good. What the fuck, right.. Here's the deal-e-o:

I arrive promptly at 11 to Maya and Nicole's to begin the Ann Arbor adventure. When Maya walks in the door returning from an oil change mishap, she asks me, "Do you know you have a chicken's foot stuck in your spoiler?" I only assume she is weird and is making some kind of joke. But, no, she was telling the truth. Someone had either planted a chicken's foot/leg/tendons/feathers and all in my spoiler so good that it took 2 girls, a shoe and me running up and down the street screaming to get the sucker off my car. Or I had incidentally enough had a chicken/rooster/bird sit on my car and as I zoomed off I didn't notice I took a leg with me. So, now there's a peg legged chicken hopping around, and I if I don't wash my car soon I'll continue to have creepy one legged chicken nightmares. Ooh, maybe the chicken is wearing a patch on his eye and is trying to make it as a pirate. Nah, chickens are crazy stupid.

Ann Arbor was cool. Realized I'm way too old to be shopping at Urban Outfitters. The median age there must have been 12 and we were all trying on the same clothes. I thought the town would be a lot hippyier than it was. And actually, I'd like to blame Urban Outfitters for this too. The freshman seemed to think that was the only store in the world to shop at if they wanted to be cool. Yes, I know I have a wish list there (look, it's over there to the right.). But if they made wish lists at random tye-dye shop, or club monaco (they don't, I've checked) I'd have those on this blog too. And the clothes there were just way too expensive for poorly manufatured trying to be dorky/cool/trendy clothes. I mean spending almost 30 dollars for a shirt I know I'll see at least 5 other people wear is just not worth it to me. I'd only spend 15 for that kind of embarrasement.

Anyway, took pictures of the pretty campus. Much prettier than UF, if only for the fact that they didn't have a french fry statue in the middle of the campus. I'll probably never develop the pictures of University of Michigan (I made the mistake of asking if we were at Michigan State- you've been warned), because I used my Holga and I'm too poor to cover the cost of developing and processing the film. Being a photographer must be a bitch if you're poor.

All right, it's Sunday and I have so so so much work to do that I need to start crackin'. I think I'll stay at home instead of going to work or Sweetwaters (coffee) because I'll save gas, money and the fear that I'll rip off anymore chicken legs.

Stage fright makes me to write shitty.

I saw a real Liger today.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So, I couldn't believe there was an actual Liger on The Today Show. It looked just like a lion. Anyway, I was amazed.

Is it just me or can you not write with other people around. I get total stage fright. I don't know what to say, or try to over compensate by putting unneccessary jokes in that aren't usually that funny to begin with. Well, this is the situation I'm in right now. I'm sitting next to 3 people, and I've wanted to blog all day and I decided just to give in. My apologies if this is the worst blog ever.

Now to change the subject, there are 2 commercials I can't stand right now.

1. Overstock.com- WHAT THE FUCK. Why is there a lady talking all seductive, trying to entice me to buy cheap lamps on some website? And why is she naked? And why is she comparing the website to an orgasm- claiming "It's all about the O"? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

2. I think it's for a Mercury, but honestly I'm not sure because I'm so appalled that they are trying to use sex to sell cars. I mean- sure the two go hand in hand- at least for 16 year olds, but still, why do we have to advertise it. Anyway, the ad is some chick who's dancing around in ballgowns touching herself. Then it cuts to her dreaming in some fucking bathtub, then cuts back again to her naked in the car. Huh, what? What is going on? I don't get it? Is she masturbating in the car? If so, did she watch Crash? Ugh, cause I did and I didn't understand it. Anyway, both the movie and the commercial made me naseaus. Puke.

That's all for today. Must watch tape of Lost and Project Runway, have Mayarn fix my fingerless gloves, and hopefully get blitzed tonight. Then wake up to go to Ann Arbor. Yay for Ann Arbor!

Why drink coffee when you can get electrocuted?

The culprit!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Well, I don't drink coffee. It just makes me sick all day. I was never sure why people could be addicted to that stuff. Sure, I'll have one cup every now and then. But mostly I'll have one cause it's warm and the idea of sitting inside while there's snow on the ground is comforting.

Anyway, what was my point of this? Right, I got electrocuted this morning. I've been waking up earlier and earlier these days, which really pisses me off. I hate waking up early, especially when I don't have to. So, I did my normal routine just a half an hour earlier than usual. And I guess my hands were still a little damp from the shower because I was so out of it, that when I took my blow dryer out of the socket- bzzz!, ouch, fuck, shit, my hand!- I got electrocuted. Man, today is starting off with a fucking bang and it's only 9:09. At least I'll be drunk tonight- hopefully on someone else's dime.

Okay, fun day at work begins...... now.

Who are these guys?

Mmm.. Mmmm... Mmmm (gag!)
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Holy shit. I totally forgot to talk about these very important things. Well, they're not really that important. But this is my world here.

1) Girls are officially pshyco. There's one in particular that just broke up with someone I know. Then about 3 months later (just the other day), she randomly calls him (most likely because she had that Swingers moment where she wasn't feeling the love from him anymore) to say he and his friends have been giving her dirty looks, when really she's some paranoid chicky chick. He never gave her dirty looks, because he's an adult and wouldn't do that. She's just crazy and insecure. And it's a good thing they broke up and that he's finally over her. Because insecure girl who is seeing things does not make a love match. Why are some girls so insanely crazy? Some really are just nuts. Like the ones that knowingly flash their tits on Girls Gone Wild and then hope there parents won't see them on a commercial after the news. I mean, really, do you have any respect for yourself whatsoever, because it would just be a lot easier for everyone if you admitted that you're just a skank?

2. Why do guys take steroids? On Valentine's, amongst all the chicks in red at the bar, there was one musclehead that stood out. I mean his neck was as wide as my... hmm... well, it was really fucking wide. It looked fucking nasty- with veins popping out. His arms were gorilla sized and I'm only assuming his penis looked like a white, but really badly tanned tootsie roll. Who are you people? Do you think this looks hot? And if so, then what the fuck is wrong with you??

3. I'm finally going to Ann Arbor this weekend and I'm totally so excited about it. Will hopefully meet cute med students, where I will then make up some disease that they'll have to check throughouly- top to bottom (hehe). Okay, not really, but maybe I'll meet some people and force them to be my friends so I have an excuse to visit Ann Arbor more. And maybe I'll smoke some cigarettes. I miss you guys, with your cute little filters and that pretty malborlo light band. Ooh, and smoke rings. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is not a good thing.

He looks just like me?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I look like Jerry from The Bachelorette! Okay, not really. But I'm a girl, you see. And a few years ago I chopped off my hair because I was sick and tired of always putting it in a ponytail to hide the wavy, nasty frizzy hair my dad passed down to me. For awhile, when I was getting accustomed to the whole short hair thing, I used to keep it to the side, with a pin holding it down. Now, I've done the trendy shit and put what hair I do have in the middle but puffed up a bit. But now I think I might look like a boy. It doesn't help that I wear glasses, no makeup, lost all my boobs from working out and like video games (holy shit- am I gay?- no, I'm in love with too many married guys to be gay- ooh, and smith jared! mmm..smith jared.).

okay, where was I? right, the bachelorette. i totally forgot about it. maybe because i was drinking the night away. so when i found out nicole and maya taped it, i was all excited again. then, nicole tells me the bad news. the vcr ate the tape! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! now, i will never know what happened because i don't have tivo, even though mark keeps saying we should get it, and he's probably right, but i just can't spend another 10 dollars on tv right now (i know, shocker). i figure though, every bachelor/bachelorette i either miss the romantic getaway or the visiting the parents, so really i should have expected this.

speaking of bachelors. my friend got all nervous to tell me that her friend bumped into nik. when i wasn't shocked by the news, she was all like, what? you're not shocked that someone saw him at publix (ooh, publix subs! i miss you so!). and to that, i had to say no. why should i be? am i suppose to cry every time someone mentions his name? i just can't do that to myself anymore. i'm sorry if she does about her ex after 5 years, but i can't waste my time and energy. if he wanted me, we'd be together. and it's just as easy as that. but he doesn't, so i've moved on. but then this was how the rest of the conversation went:

friend: "She said he lost a lot of weight, and looked great."

me: "Yeah, he's been working out a lot lately."

friend: "Why didn't he look like that when he was with you?"

me in my head: "gasp- i can't believe you just said that to me!"

me for real: "because he doesn't have any friends in atlanta. because he has no tv. because he's bored, so he started working out like a mad man."

me in my head: "he did look that good during the first year of our relationship. then we both got lazy, he gained 30 pounds. i gained 10."

friend in her head: "he probably was trying to get rid of you by gaining all that weight, so you'd find him undesirable. or he's shacking up with someone else."

me in my head: "true. but who asks a question like that. i'm totally offended."

friend in her head: "sorry, let's not fight. i shouldn't have said that to you. you've been supportive about me and my ex for years now, and the least i could do is not ask off-color questions like that ever again because i know it will just make you sad."

me for real: "okay, i gotta go. bye."



fuck- so much work to do and it's almost 11.

peace.

R.I.P.

I hate these fucking things!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I am mourning. Maya will no longer be working with us anymore. It was a sad, sad day for us all (or at least for me and Nicole, as we are the only ones that know). I've made 2 friends here and now they will be cut in half. I mean I'll still have her as a friend, but she won't be a few cubes away anymore. I'll have to call her and plan trips to visit. She's moving all the way to Ann Arbor (man, I totally sound like a lesbian- hopefully, the lipstick kind- hehe), which really isn't that far, but it's a lot farther than the 5 minute drive it would normally take me if she just stayed in Royal Oak (DAMN IT). We'll still visit and knit of course, but who am I supposed to bitch to now. I have Nicole and Leo, but I know he disapproves and she's the ball and chain so by default she also disapproves (jk). So, as far as my list today, I dedicate this one to her (imagine some fucking weepy song in the background- I'm thinking Elliott Smith)

Things I will miss about Maya:

1. Eating lunch together. We all somehow took over the lunchroom and made it our on. We'd eat, knit and read magazines. And sometimes even watch old Punky episodes. Oh, the hateful stares from others who envied us- it made me happy!

2. Knitting teacher. She taught me almost everything I know about my most favorite hobby to date. She gave me lessons for free, and even fixes my mistakes for me. And if I ask her very nicely, she'll let me borrow her circular needles. (please?)

3. She likes to gossip as much as I do. We both admit it's a horrible, bad bad thing to do, but it's also a lot of fun sometimes. And I think we're both pretty good at that.

4. She's older and wiser. Okay, not that much older. I think actually, only by a year, but she knows her shit.

Keep in mind, I've only been friends with the girl for a few months. But I know that everyone will miss her so. Including me. Can't wait to go to Ann Arbor to visit and take advantage of cute college boys. Okay, not college, but maybe grad boys. Or someone in a band. Whichever.

I'm doomed and probably bored.

Shut up you old hag!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I'm back. Not having money really means watch lots of TV and spend even more time on the internet. Who am I kidding, I do this even when I do have some cash to blow. I did go on another hike today with Mark and we started talking about relationships and how weird Michigan is (this is what we mostly talk about- that and work). So, I got to thinking I'm pretty much doomed. Reasons being that the woman I've met have fallen into 2 categories.

1. Over 30, never in a real relationship (or divored because they married too young at some Michigan mixer), too independent and just don't seem to mind being on their own (not that there's anything wrong with this by any means... blah blah). Even if over 30 woman is nice looking, smart and all that other shit, she for some reason is never going on dates.

2. Woman who is closer to my age (23-28), and is either dating long term and plans to get married like tomorrow, or already married and planning on having at least 3 kids by the time they turn 30 (not that there's anything wrong with this by any means.. blah blah).

I as sure for shit don't fall into either of these catogories, but if I keep living here I might end up being that over 30 year old singledoom- and I won't be happy with that. I mean a girl has her needs. That basically means I have to find a guy right now, or move. I'm leaning more towards the move because:

1)Michigan people stay in Michigan.

2)I don't want to go to my in laws every weekend for dinner. (they do that here)

3)(not really pertaining to this list, but) Roommate might move, and I can't afford to live on my own when all I have is 17 cents.

4)I couldn't live in a place that invented a holiday known as Sweetest Day. Who are these people?

And speaking of relationships, I guess tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I got a card from Kelly, because she's always giving people cards. Anyway, it said I shouldn't be sad, and FYI- asking someone not to be sad, is like saying, remember to be sad today (no worries, kelly). But honestly, this day doesn't mean all that much to me. Sure, I had romantic evenings on Valentines past, but I had romantic evenings on other days that weren't on Feb. 14. Days I'll probably remember more than the Valentine's Days. That's why I never understood bitter bitches, girls that had to get back together with their ex's just to celebrate the day, and snobs who demanded tiffany boxes. I mean, take for instance, 4 snobby bitches on Fox News who said chocolate and flowers are so overdone and should not be given anymore! Who says something like that. Selffish bitches, that's who. And for some reason these women are married. I just don't get this world anymore.

Ooh, some fun vintage finds on A&E so I'm off to watching tv again.

Peace.

P.S. If you want to see my kickass needle holder Maya made me (because I know you are just dying to!) then go to:

mayarn.typepad.com

(sorry, i'm not sure how to link through a blog yet. will learn later.)

I'm what?

Of course, whenever I feel tired I almost always get a boost of energy. Yesterday was case in point. Ended up tearing articles out of Readymade that I enjoyed at midnight, because I knew if I kept them they'd pile way high and I'd end up on Clean Sweep or something. So, I put all creative things in binder and put old postcards I saved (for reasons exactly like this one) on the front and back of binder to add flair. Anyway, I started rereading some good old articles and came across a blog. Checked that one out, and then found another one that had this quiz. I'm glad I am bamboo. That, for some odd reason, makes me happy today. Take it, and let me know what you are.

Peace.


You are bamboo.
Warm, cozy, and thoughtful, you take your time and
enjoy how things feel, smell, and taste. You
love the craft and beauty of traditional
things, and you value the comfort and
experience of knitting as much as the results.
But while you are reveling in your warm cozies,
don't get stuck. Warm is wonderful, but so is
the whole wide world!


What kind of knitting needles are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Or a nickel?

Can you spare a dime?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

It's Saturday. 10:30 PM. I just finished watching Lost on tape and so far I haven't spent any of the 17 cents I have in the bank. Here's what I've done for free so far:

1) Watched Shawn of the Dead on On Demand. Sure it cost 4 bucks, but I won't get charged for that for a few more weeks, so for now it's free!

2) Hiked. And yay for my suggestion of going someplace new. Indian Springs is different, prettier and doesn't have a shooting range near by (compared to Stoney Creek). Plus, roommate drove, which means I didn't even waste gas and mileage.

3) Knitted. I finished the hippy bag I've been working on for weeks now. Still have to make the strap, but at least I'm done with that. Hands still hurting though. Worth the pain.

4) Received 2 presents (that's almost like getting money--BONUS!). One from Kelly- 2 mini bags of M&M's and a grow-a-man-date thing which as of now still hasn't work. I've submerged in water like back of container suggests, and still said date has not grown. Maybe it's me??

Other present from Maya- MY KNITTING NEEDLE CASE IS SO FUCKING SWEET!- especially the inside. The outside is made from an old cool yellow sheet I snatched after grandma died. And the inside is a plethora of European/Middle Eastern flair. It contained pieces of an Amsterdam shirt I never wore, and a Bob Marley shirt that I always wore because it said his name in hebrew and had smoke coming up from his grave. Oh, it looks so awesome. Thanks Maya!

5) More Anne of Green Gables. Got through the rest of the DVD at Maya and Nicoles whilst finishing hippy bag. And got a kick out of watching the sequel on tape that would constantly need tracking adjustments and would randomly be interrupted by the smurfs and whatever else maya accidently taped when she was 8.

6) Thrift window shopping. Walked (saving gas again!) with Nicole and found adorable skirt for only 8 bucks. Oh, how I wish I just had 7.83 more dollars. I'm hoping it's still there on the 15th (no wonder I'm a broke ass!). Discovered that new vintage store is even cheaper than my favorite vintage store in Royal Oak (Lost and Found). But also discovered that I hadn't been to Lost and Found in such a long time because they've expanded the store into the size of two stores, and I got way too excited. Expansion made me want to touch every record, old scarf and aligator shirt they had. (kelly- they had johnny cash albums!)

7) Feeding on free leftover pizza, indian food, flying biscuits (atlanta anyone?) and cookies roommate made for the last 3 days. Haven't even touched food that I bought last week when I had money. And since most of that bought food from last week is in the freezer, it's still safe to digest. Free food is the best thing in the whole entire universe!

Done with list, and because I'm an old poor maid I'm also getting tired. Sucks waking up at 8 in the freakin' morning even when you don't have to go to work. Damn internal clock strikes again!

Sponsor my trip to New York.

Let's push one down and see what happens.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Who wants to give me money? I have exactly 135.35 dollars right now(even though I don't spend a god damn dime) and my loan gets automatically debited off my account, which is 135.18. So, on the 14th I shall be a whole $.17 richer than a bum (that is unless someone felt bad for said bum and gave him a quarter). Luckily, I get paid the very next day, but still how is this happening to me? I really don't spend any money. I don't even buy yarn. I find sweaters I don't wear anymore and unravel them to support my habit. Hopefully, there's a raise in my near future. But in the meantime, my roommate has been talking about seeing the Gates exhibit in Central Park and when I was watching The Today Show, Katie was standing in front of the unfinished jungle gym type structure and I was jealous. I want to be there. I want to see it. Why can't I just fly there at a moments notice? Why do I only have 17 cents to my name when I have an actual job and no life? Why did I go to college and then grad school, if I have to suffer for the next 5-10 years making bubkiss and always worrying that I have some crap fuck loan to pay! ARGH! It's a good thing I just ordered a lot of food at the studio today (FOR FREE!), so I can eat free lunch and free dinner. That, I guess, will save me some money (for now).

What is wrong with you people!

Meow!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I had knitting night at my house, and I was overruled by the cableless knitters and was forced to endure American Idol. I can go on and on about the crappiness of that show, but I won't, because in the end I'd still watch it- crap and all. So, I had to tape Project Runway and watch it during lunch yesterday and I just couldn't believe it. How does Wendy do it? She makes crap after crap after crap and somehow she sneaks her skunkass hair in. I mean, I didn't really like Austin's style (or his makeup) either, but I can see the flair in his clothes and thought he should at least have a shot in the final 3. What gives? I think there's some politics going on that we don't know about.

A) She's a bitch. And as much as I rather see a whole TV show surrounding Jay, the big wigs at Bravo are probably jizzing over the fact that they have some kind of Amaroso on their show.

B) She won the Banana Republic competiton. And, go figure, they sponsor the show. What a coinkedeenk (sp?).

I just read an article about how they already had the runway competition and that Jay's show was just fab. If I could afford fancy clothes, I'd definitely buy his. Kara can totally design for the stars, but to me her clothes seem typical.

And speaking of pilates....

My pilates instructor loved my mixed cds so much, she asked me to make more and even offered money! Normally, I'd say, "Fuck yeah, bitch. Give me $20 or it's your ass!", especially since right now I'm about to bounce my loan check. But I refused her donation because I figured I get to be in her class for free (thanks to all those christians at the Y- i wonder if they can smell the jew on me?) and good karma is a bitch, but I'm starting to realize it's the only way to live.

I can't stand my (old) roommate either.

I lived right over there.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

This morning I decided not to watch Katie Couric do some stupid skiing stunt and went on blogger instead to see their picks for some fav blogs (secretly hoping mine would be among the list- knowing that it never would be- tear, wipe, sob). And I came across one that I loved, and I swear this dude must have read my journal 2 years ago. It's called Things I hate about my Flatmate. I was immediately inspired, but forgot to bring my journal to copy out of, so I'll just start from scratch.

Things I couldn't stand but somehow tolerated about my roommate when I lived in Atlanta (I wish I lived in a flat and not a room- flats seem oh so more interesting, and colorful):

1. She thought she was really hot. She walked around like her shit didn't stink. I mean more props to her for having such self confidence, but really. She walked around like she was trying out for America's Next Top Model, when she was anything but.

2. She was snappy. Now, I don't mean she was happy and all of a sudden went all bitch on me. I mean she snapped her fingers all the damn time. That was how I knew she was in the room (because she sure as hell didn't talk). Before she came down the stairs she would snap her bony little fingers. She'd snap while cooking. She'd snap in the bathroom. Oh lord, I can hear it now. Make the ringing in my ear go away!

3. Proper refrigerator ettiquiette (sp?). She didn't know what this meant. You'd think with the kind of family she grew up in (I'm only assuming they were the type to have tea time, tuck their napkins in their shirts while they ate and called her parents by their names) she'd know that you throw out milk when it's a month old, you check the veggie bin every now and then to make sure that the green pepper isn't mush, and when there's an explosion of blueberries in the freezer you clean it up so that your roommate can put chicken in there without worrying it might turn purple. Plus, she had this annoying habit about eating a bag of cranberries, or nuts or what have you and then she'd leave 4 nuts left and never eat those 4 again, but would keep the container around, just in case she has the urge to eat 4 nuts. She was insane!

4. The shower! This was a big one. There were 2 huge problems she couldn't quit grasp when it came to sharing a bathroom.

a) The pully thing that caused the shower to actually turn on, well, she always left it up. So, for the first few weeks I'd turn the water on and get a blast of either really hot/cold water in my face. I finally learned my lesson and would only turn on water when I wasn't in the shower, or I just remembered to always put the pully thing down before I turned the water on. But I always thought to myself, "Does she enjoy getting a fierce force of water the minute she turned the water on." For anyone that is confused, the proper thing to do once done with your shower is push down pully thing, then turn off water (or vice versa). It's no rocket science, my dear.

b) For almost a week, I had to stare at her pube infested razor! Gag- (sorry, I almost threw up, just writing the line. It still gives me nightmares!) The "pube incident", which I now call it, only happened once, but that was enough in my book. I'm not just talking 1 or 2 pubes on her razor that she might have missed while trying to clean said razor after use. I'm talking about, she used the razor for the pube area and then did nothing, but rest it back on the shelf. No rinsing was involved at all. So for a week I had to clean myself practically outside of the shower, because the pubes were just staring at me. There must have been like 500 of them, all curly and gross. Finally, Nik was the one that couldn't take it anymore and decided to clean it off. I think he washed his hands about 50 times that day.

5. I don't think anything tops the pube story, so I'll just leave it at that, because I really could list about 900 more annoying habits, but I just got a new assignment for a new client. Yipee!

Peace.

I'm a poet, and I didn't even... oh, fuck it.

Oommm
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

My friend Kelly is pretty interesting. She's been writing haikus and then sends them to me. I think this is fab, especially since she wants to write a book one day. Except she doesn't want to write a poetry book. She wants to write a David Sedaris type book (don't we all?). But, now I'm sorta thinking she's going in the wrong path. Haikus seem to be her calling. Take this as an example:

Hungry, hear me roar
Smoke treats cloud my taste buds dark
oh pudding. I'm yours.

She wrote it because she saw a guy at Farmer Jack's buying a Hungry Man dinner, a pudding snack pack and a box of Malboro Lights (are you sure that wasn't Nik?)

FYI- I'm not kidding, Kelly. This haiku made me piss myself. Not sure if that's what a haiku is suppose to do, but it made me "feel" or whatever, so I guess it works!

Lame list and other shit to discuss.

Finally!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I almost got in my first car accident today (minus the little incident in college where I hit a parked car, d'oh!). I slid right through a stop sign and I just hoped that no one would hit me, and when I opened my eyes (just kidding) no one did. Victory! Hope I make it home safely though.

Knitting night will be at my place this week, and I'm pretty excited for 3 reasons.

1. I can finally use my basement for enjoyment, instead of for laundry washing and working out.

2. I don't have to guess what that fuzzy face on the screen really is, because Mark's tv is a hella lot newer than Maya and Nicole's.

3. I have cable!

Now, this Anne of Green Gables list is going to suck, because as much as I watched it on PBS and througly enjoyed it (um, not as much as lesbian Maya here- just kidding) I don't remember all the facts. So, don't bitch at me if I get every point wrong. And if you do bitch, well, sorry, but I just don't care all that much. And for those who think AOGG sucks, well, then I guess you must not have a soul and should probably get that checked out by some holistic doctor or something.

Reasons to love Anne of Green Gables:
1. Who says bosom? For that reason alone, Anne rocks. No one can get away with that type of verbage without getting their asses kicked.

2. The old man who I guess became her father. I wish all men were that gentle (gross, did I just write that. I guess I can't take it back now.) Anyway, I remember being really sad (spoiler alert) when he beefed it in the fields.

But, here's my question with the whole death thing. They wanted a boy because they basically wanted a man servant to attend to the farm. So, when they got Anne, she didn't do jack shit. Hence she should've been blamed for the old dude's death. Oh, that probably wouldn't be a very good story now would it. As I was saying....

3. I loved when Anne became a teacher. The whole love affair was fab. And it was a little relief to see her pine for someone other than Gilbert (and Diane for that matter).

4. Gilbert and Anne finally get it on. Okay, I don't think they actually showed them doing the deed on PBS, but I know they got together at the end of it all.

5. All the extra characters made this series what is was- totally awesome! The old hag and the old hag's bitch neighbor friend were a riot. Diane (or is it Diana? Maya isn't here today to answer any of my questions and Nicole is useless- hehe) was a drunk (okay, not really) and ended up marrying someone from Kids in the Hall. And Gilbert, ah Gilbert. Well, I'd sow his oats any day of the week. Hehe.

So, that's the end of the list. Whew. Glad it's over with, but now I have a question for anyone that's reading. As I was typing this shit a song came into my head. I know it's from a movie I used to love, love, love. The song went a little something like this:

Top That, Top That, I don't give an- uh- about that.

What movie is that from? There was a teenager and that little old poltergeist lady. And the teen was a dork who turned into the coolest girl in school. And you can tell she turned cool because she tied her shirt to the side.

Oh, and one more thing. I was going to write another blog about this, but since this is already a long one, I might as well keep making you read my shit.

I just found out my dad lived in a hippy commune in Hawaii and he didn't even know it! I wish I knew my parents then. So many stories, too many drugs. Probably the good kinds too.

Stop me why don't you!

My mother warned me not to do it, but I never listen.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I shouldn't be allowed near razors. And I shouldn't be so damn cheap. I had Nicole cut my hair last week, because when you have short hair you constantly have to get it cut otherwise you get the mullet thing and since that is never "in" I just let her get scissor happy on me. She did a fine job, but there was fuzz on my neck that she couldn't get with scissors. So, over the weekend in between rummaging through the memory box and Super Bowl madness I decided to take a razor to my neck. I had the weird preferol (sp?) vision thing going where I kept missing my neck and would shave the air. Then when I finally got to the back of my neck I realized I have not a single clue on what I'm doing, but I just went with it. Luckily, it's Wednesday and no one's noticed but I'm sure I look a mess. Maybe everyone has noticed and they're just laughing at me. That is very possible.

AOGG blog is on the way. I swear. I know you just can't wait. But I have radio to do.

Oh, and was anyone disappointed with who won the Amazing Race last night? I really wanted the blonde couple (who got 2nd) to win. The whiny model chick, was getting on my nerves that I just wanted her to die. My roommate, on the other hand, would have humped the tv if I wasn't there. He liked her boobs or something.

Peace.

AOGG- biotch!

With so many comments concerning Anne of Green Gables, I was planning on writing the best blog ever today about the magical powers Avonlee has over me. Unfortunately, I don't get paid doing this blog shit (oh, how I wish it would) and my real job is taking much of my time. But, don't worry your pretty little heads. A blog about bosom buddies and kindred spirits will surely be on the menu for tomorrow.

Oh, and come Thursday I shall also report on Project Runway, because if Wendy doesn't get the boot, then I'll have to design my own and throw it at her.

My to do list:

Man, I do love those Green Gables!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

1. Watch the rest of Anne of Green Gables with Maya and Nicole.

2. Refuse to watch Superbowl commercials next year, because they totally sucked this year (except for the Fed Ex with Burt Reynolds spot- I wish I thought that one up).

3. Don't get mad when unravelling crappy Gap sweater I bought at a crappy outlet store, because I know once I take it completely apart, I'll use the yarn for something else and it will look suweet.

4. Don't get bothered by roommate hating everything, including Napleon Dynamite (gasp!). He's probably in some kind of phase.

5. Don't open my memory box because it has memories of Nik and I.

6. But be glad I opened memory box only because I found Dad's long lost Minox camera that I assumed someone had stolen. Display somewhere safe and try to find a place that sells film for sweet spy camera.

6. But if I find a letter in memory box and it's from Nik explaining we should break up 2 years before we actually did break up, I should tear it up and not read it again (of course, I don't and then proceed to have a dream that him and I eloping in Brazil- weird).

7. And then I should definitely not email him today and ask if he wants to visit because my roommate will be out of town, and I use a lame excuse that my car needs to be looked at.

8. Stop listening to Damien Rice and Josh Rouse. It just makes you sad and depressed and makes you think, which is probably why you emailed ex. Replace with Jay Z unplugged immediately because at least I can sing along and shake my booty.

9. Go to Royal Oak YMCA more often because the guys there are cuter, and 50 years younger than the Y at Warren.

10. Don't be mad at art director for thinking my real name is Beatrice. My name is not short for anything. Yes, it really is JUST BARRIE. And yes, people do ask me this all the time.

And the blog goes round and round...

Maya suggested I do this, because I guess I know a thing or two about music. (I think I've led people to believe I'm some kind of music messiah, which really isn't true. I just like making my little mixes. And by the by, my pilates instructor and fellow students came up to me yesterday thanking me and wanting to know what music I had used. YAY for me!)

Feel free to pass this list onto others. I'm sure Kelly will, or Debbie too. They both love sending this kind of shit to me (Debbie not so much anymore, because apparently we had a little falling out that I was not aware of. Oh well.)

1. Total amount of music files on your computer:

13,681 songs, 50.57 GB in my iTunes, but this is just my work computer. This is all thanks to Mark and him going throughout the agency and bothering people so I didn't have to.

2. The last CD you bought was:

Because of all the songs on my computer, I really haven't bought a CD in awhile, but I actually did just get the newest Eels cd (Antics- not as good as their other cd) only because my bosses got me a 25 gift certificate to Borders (I also got the Bathroom Book for the many hours I spend in there. I love it!)

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?

I usually have my itunes on some kind of shuffle. And most of the time I don't know what the song is or who's singing it. I've been trying to go through each song and purge whatever I don't like, but that's only if I'm actually paying attention to the songs. For instance, the song that is playing right now: Trip Like I Do by The Crystal Method

4. 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:

Needle in the Hay- Elliott Smith. I actually haven't listened to it in awhile,b because it was a song Nik and I would listen to a lot. But I love it. It's one of the reasons I love Royal Tenebaums so.

Oh Yoko- John Lennon. Another Wes Anderson movie cred. The song just makes me happy, and for that it's good.

If you want to sing out, sing out- Cat Stevens. In yet, another movie (Harold and Maude). Do we sense a pattern here? Whenever I play it in my car I tend to sing it really loud and imagine I'm a little girl playing in some field with lots of daisies.

My Sweet Lord- George Harrison. I just love it. No explanation needed.

Back that Ass Up- Juvenile. For obvious reasons.

5. Who are you going to pass this along to and why?
Well, I guess I'll pass this to Kelly, but I already know her answerss (Johnny Cash, Johnny Cash, and um.... Johnny Cash)


Okay, shit. I really have to work. Bye.

A conversation between me and a drunk writer.

Drunk at work again.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So,my friend Carl used to drink all the time before he met the love of his life, Anja. Then he was drunk on her. Now that they're doing the long distance thing, he sneaks a drink here and there, and this was our conversation via internet not too long ago, at 2:20 pm.

Excuse the minor edits (you people can't know everything about me, noisy bastards):

Me: does this headline grab you?

Carl: go

Me: headline that I won't repeat because I'm not sure if it's Dooceable.

Carl: w3ow

Carl: that fucking blows my mind

Me: shut up

Me: i hate you

Carl: no really

Carl: I think it's compelling

Carl: I'm also a bit drunk from lunch

Carl: mmmm

Carl: lunch

Me: oh, cool. thank you. compelling is good. drunk is even better.

Carl: yo

Me: good, okay you are drunk

Me: i'll talk to you later

Me: much work to do

Carl: ha ha

Carl: work

Carl: that's dumb

Carl: ciao


I hope that poor guy stays in one piece. I get scared sometimes. Anja, take good care of him (if you're reading this, but I'm sure you're not because you get to work at Arnold and are probably super busy doing amazing VW work. me jealous.)

Anyhoo, back to my list. On this episode Cherry gets locked in a freezer (YAY! PUNKY!). Shit, brain fart. Too much weird Japanese candy today. Makes me crazy. Makes me make weird lists about cities I've lived in. And with that said, I bring you New York.

Things I hated about New York (union square to be exact):

1)The noise. Every morning waking up to sirens. Or just the fact that you couldn't have a cigarette outside without at least 200 people trying to hand you a flyer or sell you a cheap designer bag. Sometimes I'd hide in the courtyard of the dorm I lived at, just to not see people.

2)Getting lost. I'm dumb, especially with directions. If I'm standing at 14th Street, I have no idea where I should be going if I want to get to 33rd. I mean, I know that I should be going North, but I never knew where North was. And then I'd finally figure it out, but I'd be someplace else and get confused all over again. And because no one else really knows where they're going in New York I just wouldn't ask and have to make a lot of walking u-turns. But, at least I stayed fit.

Things I loved about New York (I won't state the obvious, parks, museums, blah blah- although, all of that was fab!)

1)The Union Square Tai Chi group. Every Friday (or maybe it was every day- i was fucked up most of the time in New York, so it's sort of fuzzy) I would go to the little square where the skate boarders and rats hung out and the Tai Chi people would do there thing with music and everything. Free entertainment always gets a big thumbs up in my book.

2)Jessie. Big props to her. We had a kick ass time there and even if we got in fights, we'd be okay like 5 minutes later. And it was especially fun to have someone that hated the 3rd roommate as much as I did (okay, hate is strong, but she talked a lot and it drove me bananas!)

3)My internship. I did nothing at all. Probably the best internship ever, except for the not getting paid bit. But still, because of it I got to live in New York in a semi-cheap dorm. AND I got to go to The Plaza to deliver a package to Richie Sambora (thanks to Jessie's quick thinking to call me as I was most likely taking a day off for no reason whatsoever), so it was well worth the 3,000 bucks I'm still paying off on my credit card.

It's 3:20. I should be fixing copy right now so I can hopefully leave early, go to the gym, eat a gardenburger and get drunk at the WAB.

peace!

Rites of Passage and to be continued...

I think I broke my ass!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I've officially been initiated into the Michigan society yesterday by falling on my ass on black ice. Damn me for rushing to go to Maya and Nicole's to knit and watch bad TV last night. I think I broke my elbow and the side of my ass hurts so bad that I brought a heating pad to work, which totally fits my grandma image that I've been trying on for fun (knitting, wearing old clothes, complaining and keeping my hair too short because I'm lazy).

What's worse is that I have no bruises to prove how much pain I'm in. I wanted some cool purpley, black war wound to show off this morning, but instead I woke up sad that all I had was my dry skin and the feeling that my elbow was about to fall off.

Why do they call it black ice? Shouldn't it be called "slippery shit that you can't frickin' see and therefore will fall on your ass and hopefully no one around will notice because if they do, they'll laugh for sure€". That's what I'll call it for now on, at least.

Now, back to my list of hatred and love for cities I've lived in. Today's blog/list will be about Allentown, PA. And since I was only 11 when my parents and I schlepped there for just a year I probably won't be very fair on this particular city, but I don't care because it's my list and I can do whatever I want, damn it.

Things I hated about Allentown, PA:
1)My first experience of a cold, cloudy winter. I remember the first day of the whole snow thing, or at least I remember it because my dad took a picture of it. Me and my crazy kitty both touching the snow with such care, like the snow would break in a million pieces if I did something wrong. Then I built a snowman and thought, "This is sort of fun, but I'm tired and cold and I much rather be at the beach making castles and shit."

2)Junior High school. I was there for 5th grade, but the school I went to there made you stay in elementary school until 6th grade and I thought this was complete horse shit. I remember thinking, I'm way mature and I don't want to be stuck here with little fucking kindergarten babies. Fuck this shit. Luckily, we moved back to Florida at the end of the summer and I got to go to middle school. Yay for me!

3)Moving there and back was pretty god damn annoying. I'm sure there was some weird shady scheme involving my parents, that I'll find out about one day, but as for now I only assume my dad had something to do with the quick move back. That's Howie for ya.

The one thing I liked about Allentown:
1)Dorney Park! So, yeah, Disney rocked da hizzouse. But it was 3 hours away and we only went 6 times a year (which to some people might seem extreme, but this was our family's idea of the only vacation spot- ever!). But Dorney Park was like 5 minutes away and I think I went like every weekend. The rickety rackety wooden deathtraps were so awesome that I'd just stay seated with my harness safely fastened until someone kicked me off.


To be continued with Manhattan....

Suweet!

Kip Dynamite
(Please rate my quiz)


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Does this mean I get to time travel and sell crappy tuberware?? I always assumed I'd be Napoleon because I use chapstick like it's nobody's business, but I guess it's the gangsta life for me. Take the quiz!

Another list you probably won't like.

Who names the cities in Michigan anyway??
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Two things first.

1. As I was running from the studio and back I noticed that the parking lot smelled exactly like a misty day at the beach. Then I remembered someone telling me there was a gas leak, so I held my breath for the fear of getting some kind of weird cancer.

2. I hate it when I go to the bathroom, then I think I'm done so I stand up, flush the toilet and realize.. nope I'm not quite done yet and I have to start the whole toilet seat cover procedure all over again. Ugh.

Now, for my list...

This is a list of things I hated and loved (just to be fair) about each city I've lived in. Because I've lived in a few places this list won't be too long for those of you who can't read long blogs (like me). Here we go!

Things I hated about Florida: (I can't really say the things I've hated in each city in Florida, because I'd probably need another blog just to fit them all)

1)Frizzy hair. One of the main reasons why I chopped off all my hair and now look like a boy is because I was so sick and tired of having long, frizzy hair. Nothing I did worked. Blow drying it made it worse. Ironing it made it dead. And even if it looked amazing inside the house,the minute I stepped outside kids would run and scream because I looked like I just electrocuted myself.

2)Old people. Too many of them. Too many can't drive. Waiting in line for them to get out there 50 coupons at Publix would drive a sane person running towards the looney bin. And their constant farting, ugh!

3)Sharks. I haven't heard of too many shark attack stories in Florida, but one is too much for me. I actually had a dream last night (which is very rare for me) and I was in a canoe on the Atlantic. I saw my house and I was happy. Then out of nowhere, I saw this net that had a shark in it. I saw it circling around and around, and I remember thinking, "As long as the shark is in the net I'm safe." And then it disappeared and I swear I felt it nibble at my foot. I of course woke up with my feet curled up to my chest.

Things I liked about Florida:

1)The beach. Minus the sharks, I love the sand. I love walking to the pier. I love the smell of sun tan lotion. Mmmm, the beach.

2)The sunset. I never realized this, but the reason (I think) every damn building is pink or green or some other pastelly throw up color is because of our sunsets. These colors aren't condusive for paint, but in the sky it's absolutely marvelous.

3)This weird mossy area in the Everglades. Whenever I go to the park, I always go to the same place. And I always forget to bring my camera because it's the coolest looking thing ever. It looks like you can touch it and it would feel like football grass, but really its swamp with the coolest green moss covering it. And there's a bench to sit on and admire it. I just can't get enough.

Oh, wow. I can forsee this list getting very long, and I still have to do Atlanta, Allentown, New York and Royal Oak. And I have some more work to do. I will continue tomorrow. I swear.

All I want to do is Blog!

I looked for an image representing Fun and this is what I got.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Work. Work. Work.

Why can't I just blog all day long? Oh, how happy I would be. I could knit and talk to friends, and watch tv and listen to my itunes, and write. But then I wouldn't have a job and I'd be poor, and probably have to sell my computer for toilet paper, hence no blogging or ituning. This sucks. I wish I could talk about certain things, but because of Dooce and the fact that Leo (hola- or however you say hello in your alien language) always scares the shit out of me, I never will.

I will though talk about my crazy family one day. Not today though, because it's back to work, work, work I go.

Peace.


P.S. While on the first of 4 planes this weekend, I read a disturbing, yet hysterical piece of information in one of those Sky Magazines. A dog was king for 3 years in Norway!

Another thing I'm pretty darn good at.

Listen to this crap.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Not like anyone is paying attention, but a few blogs back I wrote a list of things I'm good at doing and i totally forgot to add the one thing I'm best at: Making mixed cds.

I'm like a pro at this, I swear. Friends have requested my cds. I wish I could sell them. I'd be loaded. I'd pay off all my damn loans. I'd move to a beach, maybe in Austraila, and sell my cd's next to the catamarran rental guy. Man, that would be awesome.

I actually just made 2 mixed cd's for my pilates instructor because she would play the same crappy enya music every damn week. And finally I guess someone complained, so I took it as my chance to offer my expertise. I made the cd's and actually burned them for myself because they rock so much.

It's almost like an art to me (don't laugh). I have a certain technique, and I think about the mood of all the songs and if each one will fit with the previous or the one thereafter. It's like a little puzzle I have to figure out, and when I do I'm so pleased with myself for doing a good job. It's like finished a scarf I just knit. It's just that exciting!

I wonder if this is my calling. I guess it's a form of writing. It's sort of like advertising. And it's definitely music. So, maybe with a little help I can make my own NOW type of business. But it definitely wouldn't have songs from Britney Spears on it. Unless you like that sort of thing.

So, if anyone wants a CD, just let me know and I'd be happy to make one. It will give me practice and a little side project to do. Like I don't have work, gym, knitting, guitar lessons, reading and tv watching to keep me busy. But seriously, tell me what kind of theme (mellow, or working out, or rock, or etc.) and I'd be delighted to burn one right up for you.