Other crap that's on my mind.

A website about things you probably don't care about, but I do so shove it.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

You wanna move in?

Let me describe where I live.

It's a nice little neighborhood. One neighbor is gay and has a great yard. Our other neighbors own a boat (which Maya, Steve and I have been on) and the local breakfast eatery (which is supposed to be fabulous, but expensive- so I haven't been). Then, there's the house right next to us. It's the eyesore of the block. One banister has completely fallen off. Someone went mad with a Sharpie and decorated the front door. And at one point there was even police tape on the door. Their dog stayed outside every single day, even in blizzard like conditions. The kids have been known to sneak in or out of the house at random hours. And you couldn't really see from the outside, but I always imagined the inside was filled with newspapers and mattresses, because they'd only take out their garbage every 3 months and those would be the contents on the curb. Yet, I don't think these people weren't crackheads. I think they were just old and poor. Once Maya bumped into the grandma's car and the car was already so damaged that you couldn't even tell where she had hit it.

Then last week something happened. Steve and I noticed a random moving truck. And the guy that we just assumed was the visiting dad (because we believe the grandparents took care of the kids) was just chucking things into the truck. We never said, "Hey, are you moving?" because it didn't seem like they were. It seemed like they were maybe clearing things out, or moving the oldest daughter to college or something.

But then they just disappeared. And the only reason I knew they disappeared was because the dog was gone.

And then there was a notice on the door.

And yesterday, the rest of their stuff was on the curb. Beds, tables, desks, toys, books, clothes, armoires, kitchen stuff. Everything was on the curb. I'm not even sure what they must have put in that truck. Probably just the TV. The one that would be on at all hours.

It's weird. But I'm glad they're gone. I think everyone is.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Now I have nothing to do but watch Steve watch football.

Mondays and Tuesday used to be Laguna Beach and Real World time. I'd come home from the gym, cook something easy, eat it fast, then eat too much fruit and just wait for the clock to turn to 10 so I can watch one half hour worth of cheesy, but oh so good TV. Now, there's a void. I feel empty inside. I feel Punk'd. Give me something MTV. Give me the Gauntlet. Give me The Hills. Or at least start Project Runway on Bravo already! (Did anyone happen to catch the marathon this weekend? Oh, it was just fanfuckingtastic!! It kept me occupied whilst recouperating every afternoon with my hangovers.) So, instead I had to watch football. Well, actually I didn't watch football. I watched Steve rewind and fast forward through plays. Pausing every five seconds. "Did you see that? Did you see this? You're gonna write this down on your blog, aren't you? Why are you on the computer? Why aren't you watching this totally awesome game?!"

To which I say, "OOh. Ahh! Yes, great play, and oh my god that guys hair is long. Now that's something to see. And I'm on the computer looking at pretty yarn and pretty crafty purses because I'm bored and I don't like watching football. It's not totally awesome. It totally sucks. And I much rather watch last weeks episode of The Family Guy, because there's this one scene where the dog goes into the Peanut Butter Jelly Time skit that made me piss myself."

And then we watched that Peanut Butter Jelly Time skit again, because there was a commercial or a time out or something.

Monday, November 28, 2005

I learned this much.

1. That the night before Thanksgiving is the biggest drinking night of the year.

2. And that sometimes it just keeps going until Sunday morning.

3. I miss having girl friends.

4. Because hanging out with only attractive guys that won't date you just makes it that much harder for other cute guys to approach you.

5. There's people out there in this world that sell their dirty laundry (like gross socks and underwear) on ebay to satisfy other people's weird fetishes. And that is just very, very, very strange.

6. That I don't like waking up at 1pm and then going back to sleep and finally waking up at 3pm. Because then the day is wasted and I just feel like crap. And it just feels funny to eat breakfast at 3.

7. I think I need a break from some people mainly because I'm slowly getting broke from hanging out with these said people too much. And I still really want an ipod.

8. And that I also miss having a boyfriend. Or maybe I just miss being kissed.

9. Fuck, I hope I'm not back here again.

10. I don't think I am. I'm just being weird today.

11. I'm back to my old straight hair routine. No more curls folks. Unless, I'm really lazy that is.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

It's Saturday. Otherwise known as my Mommy's birthday!

Things that make me happy about my Mom:

1. She rocks!
2. She roasts marshmallows on the stove.
3. She remembers all my friends names and still asks how they are. Meanwhile, I can't even remember all their names.
4. She used to let me stay home from school. I'd fake the cough, and she wouldn't buy it, but still let me skip the random day so I can watch Price is Right!
5. She used to be pretty darn cool when she was my age.
6. She's not like your mom.
7. One time a stranger told my sick/slow grandma to "move it already" and I swear my mom was ready to throw down. You mess with my family, you're gonna have to hear it from the jewish woman from the bronx.
8. She makes the simpliest dessert totally awesome (the chocolate pie- yummy!).
9. Whenever I come home, she gets all the stuff I really like (strawberries, fish, etc.).
10. She used to sing this song to me while petting my head and it would always put me to sleep.
11. She hung out with Paul McCartney, John Lennon and Yoko Ono way way back when.
12. She wears tie-dye t-shirts and every year prays for the Dolphins to win the Superbowl (it's never gonna happen).
13. Did I mention that she rocks?!

Happy Birthday Mommy!!!!

Friday, November 25, 2005

I know I shouldn't, but I am.

I shouldn't be blogging right now. I should be throwing snow balls and stuffing my face with stuffing. But I'm carless at the moment, and I actually tried to work a little with no success, because my computer sucks and won't transfer documents. Thus, when I pick up my car at the shop I'll actually have to GO INTO WORK ON A DAY OFF! Oh, the horror. The horror.

But, I just wanted to basically tell the mommy as per our conversation yesterday, that even though I didn't have a traditional Thanksgiving, I was not at the least bit upset about it. Her and Kelly seemed very concerned about this. As I was not. Because here's the lovely things I did.

-Went to the the gym.
-Took a much needed nap from not getting enough sleep/drinking too much the night before.
-Knitted. Decided the scarf I was making sucked. Ripped it out. Started again.
-Watched Johnny Cash at San Ansomething.
-Watched Lost (did anyone else cry and cry when the principal from Growing Pains and the older, black lady reunited! i was a wreck for like 10 minutes about it.)
-Drank wine.
-Ate soup.
-Finally got my phone back from Devin, so I could call the loved ones and wish them well.
-Ended up renting a great movie with him and Dylan. Me and You and Everyone We Know. Rent it! I've been meaning to see it since last year when it came out, and totally forgot about it. It was truly a great, even maybe ownable movie. Laughter, true moments, weird moments without trying to be too weird/pointless and even a good ending. That's the recipe for a good flick, as was this.
-Ate their Thanksgiving leftovers! I took enough turkey, stuffing, marshed po-tay-toes and gravy to say that I actually had a Thanksgiving dinner (mom this was after I talked to you).

And that was that. Now I should clean the house or do something to keep me warm because no matter how high I turn up the heat I seem to be in a constant state of coldness. DID I MENTION I HATE WINTER!

Peace to all.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The things I do when I'm bored.

There's about 5 people here today. It's scary quiet. Actually, some chicky just passed my office and she literally jumped because she was surprised to see anyone on this side of the hall. With that said, I'm bored and did a little experiment. I had no idea you can search for words in your own blog. And once I discovered this, I've been messing around and me being the dork that I am, I jotted them down. And now I'm gonna show these jots to do. (if jotted is a word, then can't jots be too? i think so)

How many times the following words appeared in this blog (although I don't think this search engine is accurate, because I know for a fact I've used the word Mommy more than 5 times):

Shit fuck: 1
Hate Michigan: 2
Boobs: 3
Fart: 3
Drunk: 4
Crying: 5
Sex: 5
Mommy: 5
Boyfriend: 6
Bored: 8
Mom: 13
Maya: 26
Fuck: 33
Steve: 35
Shit: 54
The: 114

Okay, that was completely meaningless to you. But it kept me entertained for oh, a whole hour! Now, I think I'm gonna go home. Eat some split pea soup that my grandma didn't make cause she's dead, and that's sad cause her split pea soup was the best ever. And then I'm gonna watch movies, take naps and enjoy the weekend without turkey. PETA would be so proud.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The bandwagon.

I have no words for this.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
Since I'm already seeing ads for Christmas (and of course nothing for Chanukah/Hannukah/That Jew Holiday) I thought I'd start my list of things I want, but won't buy myself or ever get because presents stopped coming long, long ago. But I'm sooo bored right now, and have nothing better to do then dream of things I want and will never get. UNLESS, the mommy or the sister decide that they should buy my love with monetary gifts. And if they do decide this, well I won't stand in their way one bit.

1. Anything from American Apparel or Busted Tees in a small please.

2. Either the For Every Animal shirt in a small, or one of the stickers

3. The small Movie Quote shirt

4. This item has just been purchased by the mommy. Thanks Mommy!.

5. Aveda products.

6. i-pod (60g)

7. Record player

8. Old Dolly Parton (anything before 9-to-5) records to go with record player

9. Alpaca yarn

10. A fun and easy knitting book.

11. DVDS:
The Neverending Story
Anne of Green Gables
Groundhog Day
This item has been purchased by the mommy as well. You rock da hizzouse Momula!

12. Books:
Sellevision: A novel
Middlesex: A novel
Geek Love
In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot
Any of the Best American Nonrequired Reading (I heard 2002 is better than the others)

Lucky number 13. Magazines
Renew Entertainment Weekly
Readymade Subscription
Found subscription (or just the book)

Okay, that's it. I hope everyone has a safe Thanksgiving. Eat too much. Just don't eat so much that you become the 627lb woman, Steve and I were gawking at on The Discovery Channel. That is just gross.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Just some things to discuss.

I can't believe I ate you.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
1. I had my first Coney dog on Friday at around 3am (techinically Saturday). I'm not quite sure why people like this. It was the nastiest shit I've ever digested. There's a hot dog, right? And then they add chili. And then onions. And you can't pick it up, you have to use a fork. And basically it looks like prison food. And then the next day you have heart burn. Why would people eat that shit?? I will never do that to myself again. No matter how drunk I am.

2. I was supposed to have Thanksgiving with a friend, but he had to just back out. Thus, this will be my very first Thanksgiving completely alone. Steve tried to suggest this person or that person. But everyone here has a family to go to. And I do not. I sorta don't mind. I will just miss the turkey and stuffing. But this sorta reminded me of 2 thanksgivings.

a) I remember (and I could totally be wrong, and most likely this will upset the Mommy) that when we lived in Allentown, PA my mom made hamburgers for Thanksgiving, and my dad had to work.

b) When I lived in Atlanta, Nik and I decided to not go to Kansas to see his family. So, Kelly and I went to Publix- bought everything already made and with just 60 bucks and 2 hours the three of us had the best Thanksgiving ever.

3. Dangerous my Ass

a) I've been to every place on the dangerous list. And out of all of them, I'd actually think they might be mistaken. Gary, Indiana should be number 1, as it's indeed one of the scariest places I've ever been to. (I was a little surprised by Richmond- because that place is cool) I mean, I've been to Israel- where we were constantly reminded not to go on public buses because of bombs but this was nothing compared to Gary (aka- where Michael Jackson grew up). When I went there, I was with Caitlin and we had to desperately use the bathroom on the way to Chicago. We entered what basically looked like something out of Boyz n the Hood. So, I turned my car around right after passing the first stoplight, because if we had stopped for anything, we would have been sold for parts. Don't go there!
b) I've lived in two of the most dangerous.
c) I currently work in one of the most safest (Troy, MI). And honestly, I think it's considered safe because we have a very fancy mall nearby. Oh, and every chain restaurant imagineable. Basically, this area is filled with women who spend their rich, doctor/lawyer/automotive ceo husbands money. Everyone here wears the same shit from Banana Republic and they all get furniture at Pottery Barn. It's not safe, it's boring. Actually, it sorta reminds me of Boca Raton, but without the palm trees and old people.


Friday, November 18, 2005

I didn't find shit.

I remember when Finding Neverland came out, I thought the preview looked schmaltzy. It felt like another bio flick, with a heartfelt ending. So I never saw it in the theater. I didn't want to waste 8 bucks on a story about the guy with a last name the same as my first name. But when everyone who saw it said how good it was, I thought, well I'll I guess I could catch it when it comes on TV. I can give it that much. Thus, yesterday Steve and I watched it on Starz.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE THAT LIKED THIS MOVIE??? Come forward. Introduce yourselves. And then smack yourself upside the head, because you're stupid. Or you just have bad taste in movies, because this one blew.

Sure, the acting was all right. The little kid was good and could cry on cue. But really, the movie was just plain boring. I didn't give a shit about any character. From the get go you knew someone was gonna die. And I just didn't care. When I finish a scarf during the span of a movie you know it fucking sucks huge, fat gooey chunks.

Now, some might say I have no soul. Which is true. I am one of the few people that didn't like Big Fish or the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (which both happen to be Tim Burton and/or Johnny Depp movies- weeeeeird). I couldn't cry during Big Fish. I thought it was just stupid. And actually the few people who told me I had no soul were people who lost their fathers. So yeah, obviously you people can relate. And I can't. But honestly that really doesn't mean shit either, because I love Harold and Maude and I've never tried to kill myself or tried to get with old hags who ended up killing themself.

Have a lovely weekend.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I swear I'm not copying the Dooce.

I remember awhile back I was going to talk about this subject, but I would forget or I'd be at the studio (which is where I am right now) and not able to blog. But fuck it. I just kicked the guy off the computer and I'm gonna write damn it. And you'll read it, and be completely grossed out! And I don't care!!

My roommate and I have become one big fart. I swear, it started out innocently enough. I warned him when I first moved in, that although I'm a girl I still fart way more than the standard 14 times a day. And that I refuse to hide this while at home. Because hiding it at work can be absolute torture sometimes (imagine the fear of letting one rip in your office and then your boss comes in- hasn't happened yet, but i'm just waiting for that day to come).

Well, now Steve and I have become pretty comfortable with this whole farting thing. Almost too comfortable. We're like dueling fucking fart machines. It gets to the point where I have to Febreeze the couch, not for the rugrats that randomly come by to drool and crush cookies, but because we just ate out of my 7-lb container of peanut butter and man when it comes out the other end stand back, take cover and hold your noses folks- because it's like a perpetual dutch oven in our living room.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Originally uploaded by barliss2.
Two things recently happened to my car.

1. My check engine soon light came on for the second time in one month.

2. My car was broken into during that totally awesome Halloween party.

So, I wasn't going to mention this because I didn't want to have to explain things not just to my mom, but worse, to my dad. He asks too many questions. Questions I usually don't have answers to. Thus, I end up getting very annoyed and usually end up crying because the constant questioning drives me bananas. He'll call with suggestions and schemes, and I've learned tricks to not get mad over the phone anymore, by just saying "Thanks for the suggestions and illegal schemes. I will take them into consideration, but most likely I will do what I think is best. But again, thanks dad. Okay, I love you. Is mom there?" So, Mother, I'm asking you a huge favor here. DON'T TELL HIM! I DON'T WANT ADVICE FROM ANYONE!!

The only reason I am mentioning this now is because I just found out that once again all this crap will cost me yet another 200 bucks (and this is only for the lock that was destroyed due to the break in because the check engine light is really nothing but something stupid that doesn't need to be fixed.) And the only reason I'm even telling you people how much it is, is to basically let Jessie know that going to Spain by April is becoming harder and harder with these stupid car problems. And I know I can reach her this way best. Every month, I think, "YES. I'm making money now! I can go out and still save money for my ipod/trip to Spain! AWESOME!!" And then every month, I seem to owe something to someone and thus I'm never saving anything.

Wait, now I should back up here. Because now my mother will ask lots of questions, so I'll answer everything right here in this blog.


1. Was anything stolen?
Well, yes. Luckily, I have nothing of any value in my car. So the fools that thought I had a nice car and thus have nice things inside were sadly mistaken. They ran off with a $5 stereo still in the box in my truck that's been there for almost 2 years now. BUT, then the next day I think someone actually re-broke into my car because I was almost positive my $50 headphones that I use for the gym were in the car post first break in. Then on the second day, they were gone.

2. Where were you?
Well, here's the fun part. The part I shouldn't tell you, Mommy. I was basically on 8 mile. Steve and I had to park sorta away from the crowd of cars, because well, we were sneaking into this Halloween party that usually costs $25 to get into (hence, the karma) but tickets ran out, and I knew about this secret entrance in the back. So, yeah. We parked where we shouldn't have parked. But the party we crashed was too much fun to pass up, and honestly we weren't even thinking we were in a bad neighborhood because we were too focused by the fire breathing guitars and all those crazy costumes.

3. So, what did they actually do with the car?
Here's the other funny part. I actually didn't drive home that night. Steve left at around 3ish, and I left with friends at 5ish (?). I called him drunk, making sure he got home okay in my car. I could barely hear him and was still drunk, so when he told me, yes I made it home safely but your car got broken into. I was like, yeah yeah, Steve you're always kidding around. I'll see you tomorrow. PEACE OUT! I think we actually argued about this on the phone for a little while. Him saying, no I'm not kidding. Me saying, Oh silly, yes you are. Then he finally gave up.

So, the next day. I peaked outside and saw my windows intact. I thought, Ha! Steve was kidding. Then he woke up, and demanded I actually go outside to see my car. Wherein, yes, yes, the passenger side lock was completely ripped out. I guess I should actually thank the robbers. Because it's cold right now, and if they broke my windows I'd actually have to be more active in fixing this stupid problem. Instead, I've just been parking in the driveway instead of the street and waiting 2 weeks to actually call the mechanic because I knew that eventually I'd have to fix this and pay for that, when what I really want to do is get drinks and save up for Spain.

4. And why don't you have theft insurance?
Because I didn't want to have to pay an extra 50 bucks a month.

I think that should answer everything.

Friday, November 11, 2005

I write too much.

The last few days I've had to review some of my blogs and realized I write way too much about crap.

-The first few months, I was basically depressed and still getting over Nik.

-Then the 4 months following that I was tearing out my hair because of Job A.

-Then there's all that talk about how I hate Michigan.

-Then there was all that drinking. I really make it seem like I'm an alcoholic, which couldn't be more wrong. Yes, I drink on the occasional Monday and on the weekends. But I rarely actually get drunk. If it's free, then yes I usually do, but otherwise I don't want to spend the money or the time.

-And now I write about happy things. Butterflies and flowers and smiling and rainbows and lepracahns (sp?). Okay, not really, but I'm definitely not using ALL CAPS as much.

Sure, I get sad from time to time, but rereading past blogs has made me realize I've done a 180 on the happiness scale. And thank god, because who wants to be around a depressed girl who complains about everything. Not me, that's fo damn sure.

Say hello to another extended weekend. Man, I love those crazy veterans.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Conversations I didn't want to hear or have.

Yesterday at around 2ish at Plato's Closet:

Disgruntled Employee: God, will this day ever end?

Me: Right. Here's my stuff.

DE: Ooh, what an awesome top. This would be very expensive in a regular store.

Me: Oh, really? Yeah, I was sort of wondering what Fornarina was. I just liked the design and sleeves really.

DE: Oh, well Fornarina means it's really expensive. Take it from me.

Me: Um, okayyyyy. (You being a girl that works at Plato's Closet.)

DE: Don't you just hate working?

Me: Um, sure.

DE: Everything is such a mess. Ahhh. Where was I?
Where is everyone? Is no one working today? AHHH!
Here's your receipt.

Me: Thanks crazy lady. (I didn't really say that.)

Today around 7 amish. (haha- i was trying to say am ish and it comes out as amish. where was i? right...)

The scene is at the gym. The only people inside the gym today was me, the trainer who's overweight and the guy who grunts like he's having a girly orgasm (see previous posts if you have no idea what I'm talking about).

Overweight Trainer guy: Hi, I'm talking really really loud. I know there's just 3 people in here, but fuck it. I'm gonna keep talking loud, to you, my friend that grunts like he's having a girly orgasm.

Girly Orgasm guy: I will do the same thing, my brother. I will converse with you at an equally high volume, even though there's no other noise to cause this loudness. In fact, only 2 people are using the quietiest of machines and yet I will talk so loud to you that the entire Y will echo with every word I say.

Me: AHHHHHHHHHH! Can't I just read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius on the ellipitical machine without you two bothering me!!!! You two are having mindless conversations. It's torture to listen to you both, especially when you two are so damn fucking loud. I want to strangle you. And if I strangle you, I wonder if I could skip out on working my arms today?

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Who knew?

Who knew my 4 day weekend would involve too much internet and television?

Hence, I'm bored right now, sitting on the couch when I want to be prancing around outside, but it's too damn cold and windy and dark to do such things. If only there was a boy to keep me warm. Shucks!

Okay, so where was I? Right, sitting on the couch. Sort of, but not really watching one of the Matrix movies. One of the shittier ones, I believe. Steve keeps changing the channel, but not to the one I want it on. ARGH! Flip. Flip. Flip. No, Steve, you already have Chris Rock's Bigger and Blacker! Come on!!!! Where are you Grey's Anatomy?! Ah, it's on...... and now I'm distracted. Can't. Type. When. Dr. McDreamy. Is. On. My. TV.........

Friday, November 04, 2005

What is with this week?

First Burrito Brothers is taken over by condos, then I find out everyone in my sorority is married and now this!

What's this, you ask? Oh, nothing. Just the fact that yesterday officially proved my point that I don't think I can handle kids, especially if they turn out like the ones I had to chase around yesterday.

God, it was such a fucking mess. A friend of Steve's came by with her two rugrats. Normally, I wouldn't mind. He has friends with kid (not kids) and the one child always seems very well behaved, but still fun to throw things at. Not these kids. They were all over the place. I mean I was trying to watch TV and I could sense even Steve getting frustrated. He wanted to hang out with his friend, not tell the friends' kid to stop crumbling up cookies and then crushing them into his carpet. She should do that. She should handle her kids. She should not allow her 4 year old to just "hang out" in MY BATHROOM FOR 2 HOURS WITH THE DOOR LOCKED! I mean, come on lady, I even know that that's just not right. I have razors in there. I have painkillers that can be easily swallowed. And yet, there that kid was- hogging up my fucking bathroom, touching all my shit with his fucking cootied hands. Luckily, this weekend is my 'cleaning weekend', because I need to now 409 the whole fucking house.

OH, and the movie! God, these kids couldn't sit fucking still. So, Steve tried to calm them down with Ghostbusters. I was willing to give up a taped America's Next Top Model for that. Fuck, I'd give those kids my ovaries if it meant that they'd just shut up. Yet, the baby and 4 year old were still screaming and wanting their mother's attention every single second. And she didn't yell, she didn't spank. She just let them crawl all over her, and honestly it was embarrasing. You could see her future. These rugrats turning into spoiled brats, poking themselves with scissors and drinking whatever's under the sink. God, it was just horrible. And then there was a knock on the door. YAY FOR SINGLE FRIENDS WITHOUT FUCKING KIDS! I ran outside, said peace the fuck out you horrible little creatures and enjoyed my adult conversation.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

I'm totally freaking out.

I opened my email and there it was. An email from AEPhi! An email with a link that displayed something pretty horrifying. EVERYONE I ONCE KNEW IS NOW GETTING MARRIED AND OR ALREADY IS! I mean, congratulations to them and shit. But really this just boggles my mind. I mean, how are these people all simutaneously finding the loves of their lives at the age of 26 and some even younger than that? Some of these girls weren't even very nice. Actually, some were downright rude bitches. And now they are married, and probably making babies. And then, as I told Caitlin when she asked me my honest opinion of what will happen to her, I think that ultimately she'll get married and then she'll get a divorce like everyone else. I know, I know, what a horrible thing to say. But really, it's not that horrible. People get divorces all the time. It's not that bad. People make it seem like you have to spend your life with someone, and if you can't commit to that one person then you are worthless. Not true folks. People change. People get on other people's nerves. Sure, if you find that one person that you can tolerate till death do you part, then you are truly the lucky few in this world (and i mean that- i think there's only a few that successfully feel this kind of love), but really everyone else is thinking deep down inside (and totally not admitting it), "he/she is the one- until something more awesome comes along". And that's the good ol' honest truth. At least according to my worthless, single ass.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I almost forgot!

I almost forgot to blog today! How could I? I knew something wasn't right. I had put on my cute, new top with my cute new pants and I was rushing to work because one meeting was cancelled, and yet another one was about to begin. I left the house in a rush, with my hair wet, as it usually is so it maintains that curly sue kinda look and every since then it's been go go go! Work! Eat free lunch with Kelly! Work! Meeting! People stopping in my office just to chat! I've finally had a second to collect my thoughts, and as I was reading Maya's new blog today I just completely forgot that I didn't do one myself. I actually even thought to myself, "What did I write today? Was it about the trick I played on Steve that had him going for a good 5 minutes? Was it about text messaging and how it still scares me? Was it about people already asking me what my Thanksgiving Day plans are, when I can't cook but I'll gladly eat your food!?" And then I realized, "No, dummy. You haven't written anything. Because you're crazy, and not only are you thinking about this for way too long but now you're writing about it on your blog for at least 5 people you know and maybe some you don't to read."

Hump something today. But only because it's Hump Day, not because you're horny.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I'll have a fucking condo with my primo burrito please.

So, now that I have a 401k and pay my taxes somehow, somewhere my good ol' college, University of Florida, has tracked me down and started sending me monthly newsletters containing articles about who got tenure and other shit I could care less about. But then I flipped to the back and there was this article that caught my eye.


This place was a staple of UF. If you didn't go there, you weren't a Gator. You didn't gain the freshman 15 (although, I didn't- weird). And you sure as shit didn't take your burrito and then follow the hari krishnas back home, cause ya know, they were prancing around in the same direction you were going.

So, I kept reading. I found out that the little whole in the wall, that literally fit 3 people inside and was for purely ordering purposes, is now gonna be somewhere else, where they'll actually have seats! And beer! And wine! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I don't want to come back as a alum and find myself at burrito brothers, where I'll be forced to watch the fucking football game. I want hippie patrons. I want funny, yet crude pleas for tips. I want cramped spaces. And I want a primo burrito with sour cream after I smoke a bowl, damn it!