Tooo much beer and headaches.

How do you gut a beer?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Lets examine the situation.

2 days ago: Too many beers and a delicious burger with Devin.

Yesterday: Too many beers and popcorn with Nicole and Anne.

I need a break folks! I like my girlish figure. I don't want a beer gut. But wine will get me drunk way too fast, so beer it is. But in small quantities. Not every damn day.

In other news, my headaches have been getting worse and more frequent. They feel awful and honestly the only reason I'm even mentioning this, is because usually these things don't bother me. I'm tough yo! I broke my leg once and didn't realize it for a week. One time my toe was hanging off and I'm like WHAT BITCHES BRING IT! And they brought it, with 15 stitches. I cry for all the typical girl reasons, but if someone punched me in the face I'd just be shocked, not hurt. I guess I don't react to pain like normal people, but I never said I was normal. So, the fact that these headaches are so damn annoying sorta scares me a little. I made an appoitment to see my good ol' witch doctor, so no worries momma. He'll perform some voodoo and I'll be good as new. Unless it's a full moon, then he'll give me instructions to eat garlic and stand on my head for at least 24 hours. I didn't go to witch doctor school, so I don't know the rules. I just know he fixes me everytime, and for that I condone his witchery doctoral practices.

You're giving me a headache. Yes, you!

My brain. On nothing.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I'm a little bit of a hypocondriac. Every time Steve gets sick (which has happened a lot lately), I follow whatever he touches with 409, because the last thing I want is a sick Barrie. And forget about snotty little kids. They are the worst. I think that's the main reason I didn't want to be a teacher. Dealing with snot infested hands all day long would have been like cryponite to me.

So, when I had these horrid headaches yesterday, I decided to send this email to my mother partly to ask her a doctoral question, and partly to freak her out a bit. I think she's used to my crazy antics by now and that just totally sucks. I can no longer get a rise out of this woman! She's beaten me! DAMN YOU MOTHER! I WILL GET YOU ONE OF THESE DAYS!!!

Subject: in case i die, i love you.

hey,

so, i don't want you to be alarmed. but all day today i've been getting weird sharp pains in my head. like a real quick headache. lightening fast. it's there for one second, gone the next. but for that one second
it totally hurts- like i have to stop what i'm doing for that one second to touch my head and make sure a bee didn't just sting it kinda hurt. it's only on the right side too, which i thought was weird. i don't want to go to the doctors, so don't tell me too. i just wanted to let you know, that if i have an anerysm or something weird tonight that i love
you. i'm sure i'm totally okay, and that it's just the lights in this office or something, or i'm stressed cause there's a lot of work due this week, but i'm also telling you so that maybe you can look it up in
one of those fancy doctor books you have and just tell me what it is, so i don't have to go to the doctor and waste more money and do tests for them to tell me it's all in my head. no pun intended. i don't want to spend money on doctor's when i rather spend it on new pants.

but if i die, you can have my cds and grandma's buddah.

love,
barrie

In other news, I just stared at the computer in a total daze for about 20 minutes.

No, not the mall!

I need these things.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

I need clothes. Bad! All my pants are starting to look like I took a dump in them because they are getting so big on me. I mean I know I lost some weight, but I didn't think I lost that much. I'm probably down to about where I was at college, which means I'm maybe a 4? But, really I have no clue, because I haven't been to a mall since..... that time I went with Maya and Steve to Express to buy a skirt. Maybe early summertime? And that's where my problem lies. I HATE THE FUCKING MALL! Yes, I love some of the stores. Club Monoco, Anthropologie, Bennetton- if Detroit had a Sisley I'd be there in a second- and for my cheap side H&M (which they don't have here either, fucking useless Detroit). But I can't afford those kind of clothes right now. Well, maybe a little, but not my whole wardrobe. And that's what I think I need. A WHOLE NEW FUCKING WARDROBE! My jackets are too big, my pants, even my underwear! It's insane. Shirts are too short, or not long enough. Everything is about 2 years old, and has pitt stains on them.

This is basically what happens when you lose your butt and boobs at the gym. I should find them. Get them back somehow? Maybe eat a twinkie or two (ugh, even the thought of it makes me sorta sick).

So, if you'd like to donate to my wardrode, I'm sure I have some wish lists on one of those links over there. My birthday isn't until January and I haven't celebrated Chanukah (or is it Hannukah? can't us Jews pick a way and stick with it!) in years, but maybe this year someone will pity me and my sad oversized wardrobe.

But honestly, I know what's gonna happen. I'll go to my favorite thrift store in Royal Oak, where nothing will fit but I'll just have to have it because it has some weird design on a sleeve and I'll do this because I don't want to step inside a fucking mall, where there's crying brats, rich snobby trophy wives and gooey pretzels to bother me. And mom, that goes for Outlet stores too. In fact, they are worse!

No blog today.

B-U-S-Y
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Too busy to blog today folks. Of course I did take the time to find that bee picture and then to go on flickr to upload it and then type the words I'm typing right at this very moment in time, but that's neither here nor way the fuck over there. Work needs to be done. I know some is due in the afternoon, and knowing me I won't even start shit until then. Too many perty pictures on the internet to waste my time with. BUT I really should work. So, I'm gonna. Really. Right.......now. Haha. I fooled you. I'm not working. I'm still typing on this blog. Okay, for real this time. Sincerely. Ready. Set. WORK!

In other news...

-I'm at a different studio today. And you know what that means. FREE LUNCH!

-Kate Moss apparently does coke and then apologizes for it. SHOCKER?!

-Strippers go back to their French Quarter roots. Who needs a home, when you've got dirty women shaking their boobs for dollars amongst trash and dead bodies?

-I have to work this weekend.

-This will be a short blog.

-Bye.

Losing my marbles.

Fuck yeah!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

You must have known that the day following the Lost premiere, I'd have to write a blog about it, right? Okay, well, my fellow Lost fans will appreciate this then (Seth? John?).

I was a little scared I'd miss it actually. I couldn't remember what time it was on yesterday, and I had to go to the park because it was the last nice warm day (for real this time- 80's and not a cloud in the sky- today 60's and raining). Even though I knew my trusty DVR would tape it, for some reason I was anxious- like if I didn't see it live, I'd miss something important. BUT I DIDN'T. I told Steve to not talk to me for an hour, and only had to pause it once.

The beginning, I have to admit totally threw me off. I for sure thought it was going into some Sawyer story, as I'm sure others thought. And then, bam!

I'm liking Jack's storyline, and what a dick his soon-to-be wife's fiance was with the question about "if we can still make love?". MEN! But, once they introduced the random aussie at the stadium, I sorta knew it was gonna be him in the hole. Especially when the character just came out of nowhere.

And that leads me to something. I've realized they don't just introduce characters for no reason. Somehow they're slowly showing up on that island. Spoooooooky!

As for predictions, I don't have any. It can go anywhere from here. I'm sorta thinking the numbers thing might end up being something lame, but really I have no clue. There are just so many questions, and although I've read that some people were pissed that questions weren't answered at the end of last season, I for one was quite pleased. That was actually my pet peeve with the shitty Desperate Housewives. They answered everything too fast, and now I don't have a reason to watch it anymore. Keep me wondering, Lost, you're making me think!

In other Lost news, here are some questions:

Does anyone know what Walt was saying to Shannon?
And why the hell is Shannon so annoying? I hope they kill her.
There's a computer on the island? HUH?
How the hell did Jack's soon to be wife miracously have feeling in her legs? Wouldn't doctors know that before she did? Oh, you silly stupid surgeons!
Was anyone else buying Jack's young looking wig?
Doesn't it seem like suddenly there's a lot more people in that cave/island? Hmmm.....

If this turns into Charlie's bad herion trip, I'm gonna be pissed!

And in news that's completely gay: There's actually a Lost magazine that you can buy for like 40 bucks a year! DON'T!!!

Okay, back to work folks.

What would you do?

Praise it bitches!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Don't you just love those wacky phrases displayed on the marquees in front of churches? Well, don't you?

There's one up right now near where I live that just cracks me up. It says "Get your Kneemail here!"

I mean, I wonder if priests have conventions, like those stupid cheerleading camps, where priests get together and come up with different things to say.

"Okay, everyone. Settle down. Paul, put down that bible! Now, let's all think of what rhymes with lord, jesus or kneel. The priest who gets the most, receives afterlife in heaven no matter how many little boys you've screwed. Ready? GO!"

Side note: I have an hour to come up with something brilliant. I know what can help me!

The Ad Conceptor

Emmy Shemmy.

It's super duper!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Did anyone else forget the Emmy's were on Sunday? I remember when my mom and I would watch them yearly, as a way to cheer on our favorties and boo the losers of tv. But for the last 3 years, I haven't even paid any attention whatsoever to this sport. To me, these award shows are just getting worse and worse every year. With the ever shrinking Star Jones gushing over so-called stars and asking them what type of bling they are wearing. Like if they say Gucci, it will make me buy it. ARGH! SUPER STARS! With that said, I was pleased to find out Lost won! As it so deserved. But, if I had it my way here are my nominations and winners for Myemmys.

Best Reality Show:
Big Brother
Super Sweet 16
Laguna Beach
Project Runway
Amazing Race

The winner is Super Sweet 16! Only because it defines a generation that I'm so happy not to be apart of. If all 16 year olds are that snobby and spoiled I feel bad for our future. Everything these brats do and say are so completely ridiculous that I can't believe actual parents put up with their shit. I actually had to call my mom after watching an episode to say, "Mom, if you ever thought I was a spoiled brat, watch Super Sweet 16 and thank god I wasn't one of those kids. I love you. Your down to earth daughter, Barrie."

Best Teen Show:
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Radio Free Roscoe
90210

And the winner is Degrassi! 90210 came with a close second, but now that I'm past the Kelly doing coke thing and we're into the part where her rehab roommate is getting all Single White Female on her ass, it's getting old. But Degrassi, well, as their slogan goes: It goes there!

Best Cartoon:
Family Guy
Aqua Teen Hungerforce
The Simpsons

Family Guy takes it. Only because I'm a sucker for movie references and sex jokes. I have to be really fucked up to enjoy Aqua Teen and The Simpsons doesn't do it for me consistently.

Best Show:
Lost
Desperate Housewives
Arrested Development
Scrubs
The Office

God, how do I have time to watch all this shit? Oh, my friends don't like going out and I'm not having sex. Anyway, I shouldn't even have to say it, but Lost wins! Desperate Housewives fucking sucks. And I just watched the premier of Arrested Development, and I can already tell it's losing its touch.

And in other news, my neck fucking hurts really really bad. I need a massage.

Movies, late nights and disc golfing.

I was never good at sports.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

What a weekend.

Saw Tarnation. Go see it. Then kill yourself. It was interesting and good and depressing. I couldn't even eat popcorn during the flick. Not gross like Catching the Friedman's, just sad like ummmmm Tarnation.

Went to a party on Saturday, and stayed out till 5:30 am! I'm too old for this shit. I haven't stayed up that late since finals during my Portfolio Center days, and that was sure as shit not for pleasure. This on the other hand was at least entertaining, but when I woke up at 10 that same day, I was out of it for basically the whole day.

Which leads to disc golfing. I guess being out of it is sort of a criterion for playing disc golf, but it probably shouldn't have been for a first timer like myself. It was embarrassing. Luckily, it was just me and Devin so he didn't make fun of me or anything. But there were definitely interesting characters there. Like the Super Disc Golfer, who even brought a metal case on wheels filled with discs and would take 15 minutes preparing before throwing practically perfect pars. Then there was the dude who was doing calistetics (sp?) in his car to warm up. I never knew people got into it that much, but I guess every sport needs a magazine and a leader and something to endorse. Hippie sports included.

WHEN IS ARCHITECURE IN HELSINKI COMING TO DETROIT!!! (sorry for the distraction, but they just came on in my itunes and i just got super excited)

FUCK! WORK!!!!!!!

Once again.

Bags equals a hungover Friday.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Yesterday was another free drunken event thanks to some music production company. Too many cranberry vodkas, and not a single bite to eat equals a very drunk Barrie. Good thing Steve showed up at some point and ordered a pizza. Good thing I drank water thereafter.

It's actually funny when a non-advertising friend showed up to enjoy the freeness that is alcohol. He didn't quite understand why we constantly get free things and honestly, I'm not so sure myself, but I don't ask questions- I just order.

As for the weather, it's officially Fall. The heaters came out. I was wearing a poncho (not the Martha Stewart variety- I rather shoot myself then wear something named after that hag) and shivering like a little old lady.

Good times were had by all. And if I remember correctly, Maya even had a little Boston night out with alcohol as well. It's nice to know that she knows how to live it up grad school style. As long as she remembers to stay away from the hunch punch, she'll be good to go.

College 101
HUNCH PUNCH = DANCING ON BARS

DON'T BECOME A STRIPPER TO PAY FOR SCHOOL. THAT'S WHAT LOANS ARE FOR.

COFFEE. LOTS AND LOTS OF COFFEE.

AND THE FASTEST WAY TO MAKE FRIENDS- SMOKE CIGARETTES.

Okay, I have no idea how I just got on that topic. I've been gossiping with Nicole and totally lost track of everything. I must really work.

Barrie's tip of the day:
Leave work 15 minutes earlier then expected. It's Friday for pete's sake!

No time for pictures.

Two days ago: Went to Sangrias, got trashed on Sangria. Ate tapas. Yummy! Went to see Bloc Party. Lead singer got a sore throat in the middle of the concert. Played a total of 7 songs. Drank till 3 am.

One day ago: Should have slept in because I had the day off. Instead, woke up at 8, just because my stupid clock in my head said to. Felt basically like a zombie all day long. Got a second opinion on my car. It's gonna cost 500 smackers! Hello credit card!! Finally used my TJ Maxx gift card and bought a cute skirt and shirt that I'm wearing today. Gym, learned how to drive Steve's huge ass truck, watched probably the most annoying girl ever on Super Sweet 16, then saw enough of Jaws to remind me why I'm scared of the ocean, sleep.

Today: Went to the studio because I was suppose to meet my partner there. Partner was a no show. Didn't get into the office until 11. My admin understood. Walk into my office where I'm presented with about 10 radio spots due next week. No more time to type on blogs. Must get working!

Tonight: Free drinks at Como's. Walking distance from my house. Thank god!

The dreaded season.

I forgot I live with a boy!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Passes, possessions and goals. Three words I might just hate more than "Your balance is negative 130 dollars. Thank you and come again."

I thought I was in the clear. I thought, I don't live with Mark anymore. I won't have to sit in my room every Sunday or Monday because two stupid teams that have no effect on my life decide they need to get to the other side with some stupid little ball. But no such luck. Steve likes football.

It's actually sorta funny, because yesterday as he watched the Falcons and some other team play while I was playing on the computer, he kept saying, "Look at that play. Should I rewind it? Look at that. He should have done that! ARGH!! FOOTBALL IS SO AWESOME!!!" And all I could say was, "Steve, I really don't care. Unless someone trips on his own feet or does a somersault for me to laugh at, I can give a shit how one big guy blocked the other big guy." And so it goes....

In other news...

I'm going to see Bloc Party tonight! And you know what that means? Free drinks and food thanks to my rep friend! I love friends that are reps. They truly are the best!!!

And I think Jessie called me last night to say, "I'm off to some country again. I'll be there for a year. And then come back to Boston, where I won't know what to do, so I'll go back to Spain again." And then when I call her back today I'll say, "Awesome. I look forward to crashing at your place when I scrounge up the money for a plane ticket. I'll be seeing ya!"
BE SAFE AND HAVE FUN!

Also, I think I will have to take the day off for my stupid car. Argh. I need someone to do these stupid car things for me. Fuck having a boyfriend. I need a man servant.

Peace.


UPDATE: I just talked to Jessie. And I think she won the award for saying the stupid thing for the day.

Jessie: "When I picked up the phone, I was confused because it said that you're in Michigan."

Me: "Jessie, I am in Michigan."

Jessie: "Oh, I thought you were in Detroit."

(if you're reading this Jessie, I know you won't be mad because you're a lover not a hater. adios amigos!)

If you know anything about cars, I need your help.

God, fuck! I CAN"T AFFORD TO REPAIR YOU!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So, last week I experienced a problem with my windows. They wouldn't shut! With 10 minutes to spare before every mechanic closed down for the day, I hurried on over and had the dude quickly fix it and then went back on Friday to have them check what the problem was. It's something with the switch apparently. And I guess switches cost like 130 bucks. I got him down to 120, because I can never settle, especially when I know mechanics rip off innocent girls that don't know anything about cars (HI! THAT"S ME!!). I also had him do my oil and all that jazz. Then I go back to pick up my car. And they inform me that the part for the window won't come in until Wednesday, and oh yeah, my axle needs to be repaired because it's really worn out or something? It seemed serious. It seemed like something I could ask my ex to fix. It seemed like something was fishy!

So, here are my questions:
I mean aren't axles normally okay? Don't they only need repair if I had an accident or something? Sure, I've hit my fair share of curbs, but is that worthy of an axle repair? How can I tell if these guys are ripping me off or not? And how much should I expect this to cost me? I've only had the car (I bought it new) for 7 years now. Problems like that shouldn't happen after 7 years, right?

I hate being a girl when it comes to this shit. I can pretend like I know what I'm talking about, but in the end they still see me as a ticket to make lots of money. What do I do? I know there must be at least one boy that reads this. And if you watch sports, then you must know a thing or two about cars too. (unless you're mark)

SO HELP ME BEFORE I HAVE TO FORK OVER THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS I DON"T HAVE TO REPLACE A STUPID FUCKING AXLE (AXL?)!

Thank you.


UPDATE: I just called the mechanic so I can tell you exactly what he said:

The boot has gone bad. The stern has dried up. Basically I either need to replace the boot or the whole shaft. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE?

Drunk? Check!

My weekend looked a little like this!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So, Friday started with a bang and basically kept right on going until early Sunday morning.

Friday:
-Had sorta a half day at work
-Laid out for a few hours
-A ghost from my Portfolio Center past came to town!
-Went to Dick O'Dows, where beer and cranberry and vodkas were plentiful (and free!)
-Then someone suggested shots, and I said tequila and there goes the night
-Zorn's friend pukes in my bathroom (I think)
-They leave my place and I'm out by 4

Saturday:
- Woke up at around 11. Laid out for 2 hours
-Went to Dally in the Alley (music festival/hippy vendors/an abundance of shea butter) with Maria and friend
-Took a much needed nap for 2 hours
-Went back to Dally in the Alley- this time with Nicole, Leo and Usha
-Nicole, Leo and Usha decided they had enough after just 2 hours, probably because they are lame
-Got a call from Devin- new friend- who's at a bar very close by
-Met him and his friends at bar
-Went to the Magic Stick
-Drank beer, played pool, danced!, watched boys be boys
-Didn't get home until 3ish

Sunday (aka- recouperation day)
-At 6 am, Steve came home and totally freaked me out.
-Not enough for me to call the cops though, because then I woke up at 10 without any worries, but sadly I did have a headache.
-Basically sat in front of the tv, but not really watching it for the entire day and night.

P.S. Whilst having fun this weekend I was talking to Zorn about the recent job openings at Crispin Porter. And although, it's tempting to work on VW, Sprite and Burger King- I quite like my nights and weekends. I like to sleep. And I like to have a life. So, while every person I know from PC hurries their books off to Alex Bogusky, I will be getting drunk after work, sleeping at a reasonable hour and not getting a Pencil, thank you very much. (it's not like they'd hire me anyway, right Carl?)

Cheers!

.

I know that's how I display my tampons. Doesn't everyone?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Disclaimer: Do not read the following if you don't want to know about my tri-monthly cycle. Most likely, if you're a guy, stop here. Really.

Okay, my body is totally fucked. I can tell already I'm doomed. No babies for me. Yes, the tests came back fine, but don't tests always come back fine and then 5 years down the line, a doctor comes in and says, "Oh, wait. I missed something. You are fucked." Well, that's gonna happen to me. I can just feel it.

I really can't take this shit anymore. THREE TIMES IN A MONTH AND A HALF YOU FUCKING OVARIES! I don't like having my period or cramps or any of that shit. I was actually sorta relieved when I didn't get it for 6 straight months. And now that I'm getting it every 2 weeks, it's just too much. And it's putting a dent in my wallet. Fucking tampons aren't cheap folks. If you don't want to shove cardboard up you or wear huge diapers, then it will run you like 9 bucks for every fucking satin box! ARGH!!!!

If there's not something wrong with me, then here are my two theories:

1. The last 6 months I was at a really crappy job. I couldn't take it. Everyday I would cry either in my cube or at home. It was bad. I was stressed beyond belief. I was getting hives. Really, it was just no good. Now, I'm at my new much more improved job. It's fabulous. I can't get enough of it. Thus, maybe the stressfree ovaries in me are like, YAY, let's ovulate bitches. We have to make up for lost time! Ready GO!

2. I've been hanging out with more single boys lately. Not necessarily dating them, just hanging out with them. But I remember seeing a thing on TLC years ago, before it turned into Fill in the Blank Story channel, about how girls ovulate more when meeting single guys because we're like programmed to give birth and guys respond to that, or something. It's a little fuzzy, but it made sense.

I'd put a 3. down as going to the gym, but I've been doing that for almost 3 years now and nothing about that has changed. My eating habits are the same. And um, yeah, that's about it. So, basically, if 1. or 2. aren't the answers I'm pretty much fucked.

Good day to you all.

I'm not blogging today.

That's right. Peace to all you motherfuckers!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

You heard me right folks. No blog today. Nothing. Nada. Nothing to talk about. Okay, I'm lying. I'm sure there's got to be something to talk about. Like girls with mustaches or if they'll be a Shark Attack 4 in the near future (god, I hope so). But I won't talk about such things, because I'm not blogging today. Really, I'm not. I refuse. Today is a day for working, not blogging. We should all decide right now that today, Hump Day, is now officially I WILL NOT BLOG TODAY DAY! Put it on your Simpsons calendars indie nerds, I dare you. Because I sure as shit know that as of right now I won't blog a single thing. Not a single word. I swear. Really, I'm swearing. Sincerely.

Peace.

No point in waking up early if you end up leaving late.

Work brain work!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

Does this happen to you? I woke up today at 6:15 because I knew I had to get to work early for an assignment that's due this morning (that actually just got pushed till 2, which is why I'm blogging right now). Yet, I ended up getting into work at the exact same time. It was so frustrating knowing I could've just slept an extra 30 minutes. But I guess the more annoying bit of it all was the part where I kept forgetting things this morning. Let's go Step-by-Step here, and without the help of Suzanne Somers okay?

1. Got to the gym and with book in hand shut the door. Started walking, when I realized I forgot my water. Walked back to get water.

2. Once inside, I started my routine stretching/crunches/pilates shit and realized, Fuck, I also left my radio in the car. Went back outside, retrieved headset and began cardio.

3. This has nothing to do with the forgetful thing, but as I was leaving the gym, a guy using one of the chest machines let out a noise that sounded (this is the best way I can explain it) like a girly orgasm. And it must have been really good for him, because it was LOUD! So loud in fact, that the overweight trainer that lingers around the gym all day long and I gave eachother a look like, "Did that guy just have an orgasm on the chest press machine?" I had to practically run out because I was laughing so hard.

4. Which is why I forgot to give back the free towel they give you (they even keep track of this because apparently the old people like to steal the free for gym use only towels). I got to my car, and d'oh, have to get out again to throw the towel in it's proper place.

I know I have the senile/alzchiemers (sp?) gene in me, but I'm only 26 for pete's sake.

Sharks are Awesome! And other crazy thoughts.

Yep, that's a shark eating a raft filled with people.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.

So, before I get into the shark thing, let's first all say goodbye to Maya. She left on Friday for Boston. Now, her and freckergirl will become best friends and she'll forget all about lil' old me. Wah wah.

Okay, so a few weeks ago I discovered Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, but only caught the very last 8 minutes of it. If the rest of the movie is like the last bit I saw then this is a goldmine everyone should quickly discover.

Let me describe the scenes I saw. A huge fuck off shark is ready to eat shit. There's some cruise boat, and for some reason people keep jumping off of it- knowing that there's a shark waiting for them. But for some reason you get the feeling that these people are dumb, so it sorta makes sense. One guy grabs a woman who's about to jump. And takes her lifevest. He thinks he's home free until he jumps off the boat and directly into the sharks mouth. Blah blah woman screams and cries, and then we look back into the water where a raft full of people get swallowed by the shark (see picture). Okay, so the shark had an appetizer and the main meal, but now you're thinking- where's the dessert? Don't worry, that's where the evil looking Russian on a jetski comes in. He thinks he just beat the rest of the crowd and gives a sinister snicker, then looks ahead and realizes he's driving right into the sharks mouth! Him and the jetski literally drive into the mouth. It's ridiculous. It's insane. It's absolutely genius, and I need to find the rest of this movie!

Side Note: Has anyone seen The Look for Less with Yohanna (a.k.a. Winner of Season 2's America's Next Top Model)? Is she not the worst host ever? I thought the chick that used to do it (who's now on The View) was bad, but Yohanna makes me wanna gag.

Side Note 2: I watched a marathon of BBC's What Not to Wear (I must keep true to the original) and decided I need a whole new wardrobe. I just wish I could go on that kind of show and not actually be on TV. I think I'm the only person that doesn't want their 15 minutes. I don't even want 30 seconds. Anyway, anyone who's interested in some tips, you can actually get some on their website. Just plug in your type of body and voila, Trinny and Susanna will tell you what to wear. GENIUS!

Side Note 3: The reason for all the side notes. I've been all by myself for 3 days now. EVERYONE IS GONE. And since Kelly sold me out (sorry, but ya did) I've been thinking to myself a lot more, and walking around, and laying out, and going to see Junebug (which was sorta sad, but pretty darn good) and trying not to use any gas, and then doing more of that thinking thing. I actually sorta like this alone time.

See ya's at work tomorrow. I know I'll be rested and ready to go!