Other crap that's on my mind.

A website about things you probably don't care about, but I do so shove it.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

3 1/2 day weekends are crazy awesome.

I still don't get it.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
Things I did this weekend (in no particular order):

1. Attempted to learn euchre. Realized I don't have a clue. More so when your belly is filled with bbq goodness, beer and way too many OREOS. Also realized that after playing euchre, you can still find the time to swap sex stories with fellow co-workers.

2. Went on a hike, and then- get this- went paddleboating! It would have been a romantic date, but Maya was with me, so sorry boys, but no making out.

3. Watched the very last episode of Radio Free Rosco!!! So sad. But not as sad as when JAG ended. That's a lie. JAG sucks! Actually I never watched JAG, and was pretty surprised that there was a show that lasted for years without me even knowing it. Weird.

4. Injured my damn foot again. I think I'm gonna have to go to the doctor's and I'm super scared. What if they have to chop it off or they tell me there's a a tiny baby growing inside my foot, or worse, I won't be able to work out! Oh, the horror!!!

5. Went to a concert and realized once again how old I am. The median age there was probably about 17, but it still was fun. Minus the whole spilling a free beer on Maya, which was pretty funny, but probably not for her- everything went smoothly. The Killers were good, but the show really got me more excited for Modest Mouse. I can't wait!!

6. Got a little tipsy, then drank coffee and ice cream, then saw a midnight showing of Donny Darko Director's Cut. My opinion of the longer version- too long. The added bits with Chapter sequences where I wish I had my DVR to pause it instead of trying to read really fast were a little confusing and didn't give anything to the movie. BUT, I was happy to see it in the theater.

Now, I'm just happy it's Tuesday and I don't have any huge assignments due today. I'm dog gone tired. Sorry for the crap blog today. I just don't have it in me right now.

CONGRATULATIONS CARL ON GETTING A JOB AT CRISPIN!!! Next time I see a Burger King/Mini/Totally awesome ad, I'll think of you. My advice: Learn espanol.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Remember when...

Yay for Half Days!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
I remember back in da day when we had half days in high school. I was driving my parents huge fuck off brown Caddy, and I would pile about 10 kids in the car. Sure enough there were seatbelts for everyone in that boat on wheels. I would make wide turns and have all sorts of fun in that thing. We'd get slurpies at the 7-11, eat at Pasquali's and go to the beach. I remember in college, everyday was a half day. I would occaisionally go to class, but would spend most of the day watching 90210 at the sorority house, eating as much free food as possible or sit around on the smoking porch. At Portfolio Center, the first few quarters were fun for making friends, drinks and boyfriends, but then soon after that I had to become at least half an adult and actually start doing half of the work. Now, I'm really doing work (sort of) and having my second half day since I started here! Since the weekend is suppose to be nothing but thunderstorms, I have to take advantage of the beautiful weather we're having today. Hopefully, the few friends I have here won't have to work too much and will join me at either Como's or Noble Fish! Because when you get a gift like a half day, you have to take advantage, damn it!!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

My $35,000 book.

So, I decided to put my portfolio book on a blog. You can find it here.

Da Book

It's not finished yet, because I'm slow and I have other things to do- like work.

I also can't afford an actual website, because I rather buy saki and see the midnight viewing of Donny Darko- The Director's Cut tomorrow so it's not how I envision my ads to look like, but I take what I can get. And instead of sending agencies jpg's, I can just refer them there. Most of the book came from my sleepless years at Portfolio Center. The other little bits came from where I work now. Enjoy, but please don't insult.

This and other slighty boring news.

I could not even pee for 2 hours because I was afraid I'd miss even the slightest moment of Lost. And damn it, I just realized I missed the Good Morning America extra Lost scene this morning. Anyone know where I can find that? Anyway, bravo to ABC for leaving me with lots of questions. Here's what I think might happen next season:

1. The pirates that took Walt were really The Others (which I actually think is true). Michael Jackson is their leader.

2. Locke and Jack go down the ladder and discover that, yes, there are enough twinkies for everyone.

3. Kate and Jack finally realize their true feelings for one another and just as they are about to kiss, that black vapor thing sucks Kate into a vortex, along with that annoying grin she always sports.

4. Charlie and Claire both are in herion blitz, and somehow the show turns all Trainspotting on us.

5. Hurley realizes the mysterious numbers is just his weight (oh, man, that was mean of me. oh well, i'm not that nice.)

6. Michael, Sawyer and Jin realize they actually have gills and lo and behold they meet Kevin Costner, who is still looking for dry land!

7. All those other characters die.

As in other news, a woman driving in front of me today had her blinker on for about 15 minutes, but her license plate read GDSFAV (gods favortie for anyone that doesn't speak license plate). You'd think if you were god's fav, that he'd come down and tell you you were being a moron for not turning off your blinker, even when people were honking at you. Oh, you silly, stupid people just crack me up sometimes!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Who still wears pads?

Aren't we all staying free?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
Whatever I do Advertisingwise as a Copywriter, I'm just happy I don't do those Stayfree commercials. Have you seen them? A woman at the grocery store, standing next to the hugest supply of Stayfree pads. You'd think the store was called We Only Sell Stayfree Pads. Anyhoo, the commercial seems like it was made with a handicam, and some mom's got together to spread the word about how fabulous these diapers absorb liquid. This woman asks another woman, "Hey, can I show you something amazing."

These ad geniuses are actually trying to make it seem like real customers are being stopped to witness the magic that is the MAXI PAD! It's absolutely unreal. It's absolutely ridiculous. And I only wish my DVR could fast forward live tv, just for this commercial alone.

I'm thinking about making a trip to Atlanta? Why, the question mark at the end of the previous sentence? Because I'm a little nervous. I want to see my friends, but knowing Nik will be there would put be on edge. I'd actually like to have a cup of coffee at Intermezzo with him (yummy cafe bianco- i miss you the most of all!) and just talk- like friends. But, I'm not sure if that's possible now. I want to go in August, when it's hot and the pools will be filled with cute single boys that won't notice me because I'll be hiding in a book, instead of flirting, because I'm just useless. Ho hum. What I do know is this. I'd be spending time with Caitlin and Jeff who I miss terribly. And I'd probably party with Jen, who'd have a good supply of boys to drool over- except most of these said boys are the complete opposite of my type (you know the kind- cute, but they're always looking at their cell phones, and wearing sunglasses at night, and never ever have anything substantial to really say), but either way good times could be had. I guess I'll just worry about going or not when I can actually find the money to go. That's my biggest obstacle so far. Money, where are you?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

This one's for the kids.

Why didn't anyone tell me?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
So, sometimes I forget that my relatives read this and I stupidly give away little pieces of my past that I've kept secret for awhile for good reasons. Now that I'm older and am far enough away from my parents, I don't mind telling them I used to smoke cigarettes, I hid Zima bottles in my closet and yes, I sort of picked up a hitchhiker.

So, the story goes a little something like this.

It was a typical rainy Orlando night. I was probably wearing something tight and drinking something fruity, but with a blueish/green hue. My roommate Niki and I were out on the town, on a mini vacation from a long awaited college break. Her friend was the rich, model type who attracted everyone from guys to dogs. So, of course when we were ready to leave, she was talking to some said guys. I waited in the car, as my friend attempted one last time to get her to come home with us instead of with a bunch of strangers. No use- she took the bait and was deciding which guy's bathroom she'd be puking in later.

Here's where it all got a little messy.

While my friend left me in the car, a semi normal looking guy came up to the window and knocked on the door. I assumed he was asking for directions or something. But, when he spoke, he was frantic. Saying things about how he needed a ride to his friends store right now, and how it was an emergency and what not. I was weary and old GI Joe PSA's started flashing into my head. I was polite though, and said I'd have to ask my friend when she came back. Then rolled up my window and locked the doors, as the guy started to pace back and forth. Niki came back, and I said "Let's go." That's when the guy took his cue. He said his spiel again, but Niki obviously didn't have my flashbacks and said sure, I'm nice- I can help you crazy, shifty guy. So, there we were, two 20-somethings, wet, tired, and ready to go home and one shifty character in the backseat. He gave Niki directions, and started to look in his pockets for something. I was looking for a sharp object to puncture his eyes out with if shit went down. He took out a wad of paper and said he draws and if we'd like his drawings. I'm like, "Wow, nice!" as Niki was following his lefts, rights and u-turns. Then he told us tales of his crazy adventures. Being stabbed and how he had to hide out at a tattoo parlor, and other weird, scary shit. How he saved a guy's life once and now he had to pay him back. Now, Niki was looking for her cell phone, because she realized being nice, and giving strangers rides at 2 in the morning probably wasn't the wisest decision she made that night. We were approaching the highway, and Niki asked if he knew where this place was or not. He said, "Yeah, just go on the highway." We're like no fucking way, opened the door, called out to 2 people we saw stumbling on the street and told him to get out and bother them. Peace out crazy dude, hello panic tears.

P.S. Mom, don't be mad. You did far worse shit in your day. I'm still alive!!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Boycott the bastards.

Here's the story.

I had amazing seats to see Modest Mouse. Just amazing. Then a week ago, ticketmaster emails me to say, they've changed venues to a shitter but bigger place and that my amazing tickets won't be honored there. Everything will be reinbursed except the conveince charge (of course). So, I panic. I immediately get tickets to the new place, and for some reason everything was taken except for the crappy balcony. Same exact price though, so I'm like fuck it. THEN, the next day Nicole gets an email saying, oops, our bad your old tickets will be excepted. Do nothing. So, of course I feel scammed. I call Ticketmaster to complain, to get my 5 dollars back because it's the right thing for them to do since it was their mistake to send an email misinforming me too soon. I talked to 5 different people, who all told me the same thing. Sorry for your misfortune, but that conveience charge is nonrefundable no matter what. So, I'm like, I know it's nonrefundable, but you're telling me that a billion dollar company like Ticketmaster can't fork over the 5 bucks they should give me for your mistake. And all of them said no. I was surprisingly calm throughout all these conversations, but at the end I told them they lost a customer because of this. I thought I was being quite fair. It was their mistake, so they should have reinbursed me. But nooooooo. The greedy fucks at Ticketmaster want to take you for everything you're worth. I hate them. And you should too. The end.

As for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Save your money. I couldn't believe it got such good reviews. It was trying way too hard. Felt like it was supposed to be a Monty Python movie, but was more like a crappy movie based on a good book. Ho hum. At least Star Wars was pretty good. Oh, and I sorta got a tan!

I'm out.

Friday, May 20, 2005

I'm tired. Not too tired to blog.

Just got back from The Decemberists, but was too tired to keep drinking. Instead, I'll take this little thing Maya suggested.

Three names you go by: 1. Barrie 2. Barliss 3. Ba

Three screen names you have had: 1. barliss 2. barliss1 2. barliss2

Three physical things you like about yourself: 1. my stomach 2. my eyes 3. my shoulders

Three physical things you don't like about yourself: 1. my chapped lips 2. my knees 3. my feet (who likes feet!)

Three parts of your heritage: 1. Polish 2. Russian 3. Hungarian

Three things that scare you: 1. The Clockwork Orange 2. walking down a ladder, hill, or anyplace far up 3. Watching America's Most Wanted all by myself right before I go to sleep

Three of your everyday essentials: 1. lip balm 2. flossing 3. eating some type of fruit

Three things you are wearing now: 1. my glasses (damn it!) 2. my bra (damn it!!) 3. clothes (damn it!!!)

Three of your favorite bands or musical artists 1. Cat Stevens 2. Radiohead 3. Postal Service

Three of your favorite songs: 1. If you want to sing out, sing out (cat stevens) 2. that song by elliott smith (damn it i'm too tired to remember the name) 3. sweet lord (george harrison)

Three things you want in a relationship: 1. laughter 2. love 3. honesty

Two truths and a lie (Which is a lie?): 1. I picked up a hitchhiker (sort of) 2. I went skydiving 3. I hate kidney beans.

Three physical things that turn you on: 1. arms 2. a great smile 3. sweat (the good kind)

Three of your favorite hobbies: 1. doing nothing 2. travelling 3. concerting

Three things you want to do really badly right now: 1. go to sleep 2. finish watching this south park so i can sleep 3. complain to ticketmaster because they fucking suck really huge chunks

Three careers you are considering: 1. selling coconuts on the beach 2. selling coke on the beach 3. standing on the beach and just getting money for it

Three places you want to go on vacation: 1. Austrailia 2. South America 3. Africa

Three kids names you like: 1. I really can't think of any right now (show's how much I care about this topic) 2. 3.

Three things you want to do before you die: 1. find that dude, who's supposedly my soulmate 2. travel nonstop for a year or two 3. find the parallel universe version of myself and see what's up

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl: 1. i love reality tv 2. i'll try on a bunch of clothes in my closet for no reason whatsoever 3. enjoying the movie, my best friend's wedding

Three celebrity crushes: 1. Brad Pitt 2. Edward Burns (YUMMY!) 3. Vin Diesel (sorry, it's true)

Three people who have to take this quiz now: hmmm? kelly? carl? anyone else that just wants to waste some time?

Someone's been smoking the wacky tobaccy.

You looking at me?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
By getting free tickets to see the last (or 3rd- however you see it) enstallment of the Star Wars movies, I was rushing all day yesterday trying to get shit done. Then Nicole didn't know how to get there, so we were almost late. Good thing for 15 minute previews. Anyway, here's my take on the movie. Note: If you haven't seen this yet, close your eyes, but scroll carefully.

1. About 25 minutes too long. Maybe I was just tired (which I was) from working 10-11 hour days this week, but the first half of the movie I noticed I was dozing off every now and then. Since I knew I had to go back to work, I was trying to get some sugar in me. Here comes the sour patch kids and reeses. I've missed you so. Anyhoo, I'm sick of these trilogy's taking so much of my time when they could be an hour and 45 minutes and the story would have been the same, but better. This was one of those cases.

2. The ending was actually good. The scene with vader's surgery, where we get to see him take his first breath was silly but still amazing. I sorta wanted to see Yoda get dumped off in the swamps, rather than the two randoms smiling at the dualing moons at the end (luke's aunt and uncle). I mean why should they get the last credit? Still I understand Lucas motives behind it.

3. Where was Harrison Ford? They should have had him in the delivery room next door to luke and leia. Then had a baby swamping mishap. How awesome and fucked up would that have been?

4. For my favorite scene: It's a toss up. I loved the shot of darth vader, where he's lying down doing the breathing thing (see number 2). You can tell Lucas was doing some directing magic there. He probably had a boner just filming that shot. My second is a more humoric (yes, i made that up) scene, where Yoda comes in to see the channcelor towards the end of the film. As Yoda walks in, he immediately kills two soldiers, almost like, "What bitch. You're in my way" kinda hand manuevering. I almost lost my shit.

And that concludes my Star Wars critique. I'm not a huge fan, so please don't critique my critique.

As in other news, I'll be seeing The Decemberists today. And since it's a spectacular, sunny day and I'm at the studio, we decided to go outside for lunch (FOR FREE!!!!) and maybe even play a little frisbee if time permits.

Here, the weekend is finally. (sorry, i had to do it. the force made me.)

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Pizza! Pizza! Huh? Huh?

Oh, you silly cartoon.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
So, I'm a little confused by all the pizza comments I've been getting for a few days. Did I mention something related to pizza that deserved all these comments? Or did one comment turn into a pizza fan base for people who are just waiting for a pizza blog, and finally their wishes are coming true? Anyway, I'm just wondering.

In other news, I'm about to spoil some shit for you America's Next Top Model viewers. Naomi (or however you spell her name) won. Nicole and I should have been working, but we just had to know. So, if we don't get to go to LA we have Tyra's strechmarked boobs to blame. I personally was rooting for Kahleen. She seemed more like the model between the two, but really the show should be named America's Next Cover Girl, because that's really what they base this shit on.

As for Lost. I can't believe people actually left the island. I was waiting for some vortex to suck that makeshift boat into the sea. And man, what is with The Others? Is Nicole Kidman gonna pop up somewhere saying she's a ghost or something? So many questions, and only one more episode to explain probably nothing. I hate season finales!! It will torture me for sure.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I was suppose to blog about something else.

Imagine if it was False?
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
You're in luck folks. Instead of ranting about how god awful that Brittany and Kevin reality shit was (I watched about 10 minutes and experienced a Bourne Supremancy dizzy throw up feeling), I'll blog about something else that's worthy of your attention.

Go here.


For some reason, I'm a sucker for anything where kids, old people, little people or animals reenact a commercial, movie scene or play. It's just plain funny and this one is particulary so. Thanks Maya.

As for other news, I was feeling Maya's pain the other day when she said she was having a bad morning. But then a question came to mind. Bad mornings vs. Bad afternoons? I say, hands down, bad afternoons take it. Sure, waking up in a bad mood with a sore neck from sleeping funny, and then having a boss yell at you before 9 am, and then trying to stay awake for a 10 am meeting sucks. BUT, having a boss yell at you as you're leaving for work, getting a huge assignment at 5:15 that's due the next day, then dealing with traffic, then having people complain that you don't go out enough (which isn't true at all) when they make 3 times more than you and never had to deal with over 75,000 dollars worth of loans, then bringing all this home and trying to erase all that shit from your head and then realizing when you go home, you'll be home alone with no one to listen and then attempt to have a normal night sleep. Believe me, bad afternoons suck. But if you think bad mornings are worse, I'd love to hear your reasoning behind it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


If you watched the THREE HOUR long finale of The Bachelor, I'm sorry. I'm even more sorry that I actually kept flipping back and forth in the hopes that the host was telling the truth when he would say, "In a few moments The Bachelor will be handing out his final rose". Keep in mind he said this at minute :05, :15, :30, :33, :35, :45, do I need to go on? Why do they do that? You know the executives are thinking, "Ooh we'll torture them by waiting till the last two minutes of a really boring show to give them the answer. It will boost ratings! It will be the talk of the town!" No, it won't. It will be really fucking annoying. It will make me flip channels, and then it will make me play my guitar. Then it will make me call all my friends to tell them how ridiculous this is, but none of them will answer because they're probably just as annoyed as I am. No wonder this is the last installment (OR IS IT? Oh, the horror!!).

Oh, wait, but there's more. As I was watching THE THREE HOUR LONG BACHELOR, a commercial for Dancing with the Stars came on. At first, I thought it was a Geico commercial (who doesn't love The Tiny House bit- hilarious!). But no, it's for real. What has television turned into? Has been reality, tv and boxing (yep, it's true) stars compete for OUR votes on who's the best dancing duo. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

As for Anonymous's question to what my favorite pizza topping is? My answer would have to be mushrooms.

The end.

Monday, May 16, 2005

I figured it out.

I finally get the whole no available, normal boy thing in Michigan. It's because they are all snatched up in high school and forced to marry there "sweethearts". Then they are forced to have babies. And then, they realize they want a divorce because they married someone they knew when they were 16 and missed out on life, but by then I'll be long gone and they'll be too old and used up for me.

As for other news, my foot really hurts. I went running on Saturday, more because I was bored of watching TV. So, I ran for an hour! That's like a record for me. And with my lame "exercise induced asthma" otherwise known as "smoking too much in college" I had to stop a lot, but still I ran the shit out of my foot. So much so, that I was limping to work. Here comes Matt to the rescue. He gave me some power aspirin, that didn't really work, but gave me a no-doze buzz. So, here I am, leg uncontrollably shaking and feeling sort of out of it. At least I'm being productive (minus the whole blogging instead of working thing).

I'm out folks.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Goodbye Ipod.

Damn you safety.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
So, unfortunately I won't be getting an Ipod this week, year or decade. I instead had to get brakes that cost me almost 300 bucks. But really, if you think about it, brakes are a lot more fun than an Ipod. I can stop on a dime. I can almost get in a wreck. I can stop hearing that screeching noise come from my car. An Ipod can't do any of those things. Wow, the fun that will be had by all.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I hate being poor. I hate it all.

If Oprah says it's cool to fart, then I'm buying it!!

Fuck Bean-o!
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
I totally forgot to talk about this about a week ago, but I've been telling everyone I know and now I shall tell my loyal blogger readers. It's cool to fart. I had taped an Oprah on the DVR a few weeks back because it was an interesting episode on eating right and how to stay alive forever. When I was watching it though, all the special guest had to say was how your poo was suppose to sound when it came out and what is was suppose to look like (a banana- it case you're wondering). Then he proceeds to say that if you're not farting at least 14 times a day, you're not normal. I was like, horray!! I'm super normal. And that's the end of that.

As for ad news, I just found out my friend is going to Cannes to represent the USofA in an ad competition. Lucky bastard. He'll for sure be at Weiden and Kennedy sooner than later. And I'll be jealous.

As for ebay news, has anyone seen the Vote for Toby shit? It's fucking genius! This fucker is gonna get paid because some PETA looney's want to save a bunny. Read the story, laugh, but please don't donate to his cause. Instead save your money for something you could use, like drugs.


I'm out.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Sooooooooo much to do.

So, my boss loved a billion of our ideas, but anyone in advertising knows that that could actually be a bad thing. That means everything is due, and it's due like right now! Which means I really don't have time to blog right now. But it's lunch, and I can take 5 minutes to fuck around if I want. And I am, damn it!! I can multi-task with the best of them, bitches. Actually, somone from the studio just called as I was typing and eating all at the same time and she just couldn't stop laughing cause I sounded all muffled and whatnot. Anyhoo, thanks to this project Nicole and I are doing my cube now looks like a 12 year old girls room. Complete with an Usher poster and a Lindsay Lohan calendar. Of course we had to immediately tatoo Usher with jewish stars and hearts and shit. Good, honest fun. Alright, I'm out.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

That's what I get.

So, I was at the studio for a partial day and I couldn't concentrate and I knew things needed to be done so I decided to just go home early and do the rest of the work where I knew I could get peace and quiet. I passed the grocery store and thought, hey I'll pick up some bananas and milk since we're running low and there won't be any lines. I pick up bananas, milk, bread and some lotion (impulse buy). I check out. I drive home. I pick up the bag and low and behold milk is everywhere. Now my car smells like fucking milk. I'm too tired to go back to the store, so I called them. They said they'll give me a new milk and they'll pay for the cleaning of my car. Whew! But I think I just got some back asswards karma. Just because I want to leave work early to work at home, the gods of workdoom decided let's fuck with this chick so she won't be able to work efficiently from home and instead have to deal with grocery store people about milk and the cleaning of her now milk soaked seats. UGH! How's that for something to blog about. Why me?

How amazing is it?

Pretty darn amazing I tell you. Actually, I was rooting for Rob and Amber. Aside from all their schemes and whatnot, they worked great together. All the other teams just bothered me with all their bitching.

I just realized I really have nothing else to blog about right now. Did I just run out of steam? I guess there's a lot of work to do today, but that's no excuse. The weather sort of sucks, and it's not suppose to get any better, but still. Nothing funny has happened reccently or even interesting for that matter. I did get a fortune that said I'd come into money, but I'm not about to buy a lotto ticket to test this theory. Ugh, I feel lame. I also feel tired, and a little full from lunch. I'll try to think up something truly amazing to write about tomorrow. But most likely it will be about Lost and how amazing the last few shows should be!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Let me tell you a little story about someone you don't know.

For the longest time I always thought my father's last name was changed from Arbus to Arliss because my grandfather and his relatives said peace out to Poland and Hello to Canada and somehow somewhere someone fucked up. Then the truth started to surface revealing that what I thought was completely wrong (shocker). Apparently, when my grandma met my grandfather back when everything was still in black and white, they fell in love. He actually was the dude who carried the girl in the snow for 2 miles when she broke her foot. And when he proposed, there were conditions. She asked for a non jewishy last name. Huh, you might ask? Well, it was the times I guess. And it also seems like it's probably a long lost genetic line of paranoia in our family. So, I guess there was some actor with the last name Arliss, and thus the name was changed, hopefully legally. But with the non-jewish last name, the nose that never needed to be fixed, the anti-jappy attitude towards life (Does anyone really need a bag that says LV all over it?) and no Long Island accent (thank god!), people are pretty much confused as to what I am exactly. Heck, I'm not even sure these days. Oh well.

Back to work. I had to use this blog as my excuse to take a mini break, but now I'll be writing hundreds of headlines until I nail this shit on the fucking head. Damn you blank white paper!

P.S. Was it me or did Sarah Wubba (hehe) on The Bachelor gain a lot of "poor little pretty girl" weight? I was waiting for someone to yell out, Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! at The Girls Tell All Deathmatch, but no such luck. Just a bunch of caddy bitches fighting over another loser they couldn't snag.

My work here is done.

Monday, May 09, 2005

I don't want to take you to a gay bar, but I know some people that do.

Man, I missed you blog. Was in Denver, and then relaxing and then seeing Electric Six (hence the title of today's blog). I didn't realize when I saw them that they were the people responsible for the song/lipsyncing sequence between tony blair and prezzy bush that I saw ages ago. Funny shit. Click down there. No, right there.

Gay Bar

I suggest seeing this wicked awesome band if they come to your town. The music was pretty good shit you can dance to and get crazy with. But the real entertainment was watching the lead singer. He's such a character, that just seeing him alone was worth the 10 bucks. His satanic grins, and child-like waves to the crowd kept me sticking around waiting to see what he'd do next. Go!

As for airplane news, jesus christ can some single serving friends just shut the fuck up. Luckily, she wasn't my ssf, because I was too busy thinking up concepts and listening to Bright Eyes over and over again. But man, was she a pisser (as my mom would say). She went on and on about how her mom wanted her to get married and have kids and she was only 24 and she didn't even have a boyfriend yet, and that she hated people that were waiting to have babies in their 30's so that maybe her mom was right, and that she wasn't very arrogant, but she's the teacher's favortie student and she's gotten this award and that award, and she's been to this country and knows 4 languages and she's trying to go for her masters and get a job and everything in life is so hard and oh my god will you ever shut up. Keep in mind this was only the portion I had to listen to because we were landing and that whole- turn off your electronics because if you don't the plane might explode and it will be all your fault because you wanted to listen to bright eyes instead of hearing the annoying fuck sitting next to you ramble on and on about life and shit.

Besides that, the weekend was just dandy. I wish I only had to work Monday to Wednesday. How fucking damn awesome would that be?! Of course, I'd be crazy poor and thus not be able to buy anything or do anything fun on Thursday or Friday. So it goes. (I'm reading Slaughterhouse Five right now- so, I'm sorry Kurt, but I just stole your line because I like it.)

Another week goes on.


Wednesday, May 04, 2005

26 going on teeny bopper.

So, as I was listening to my free Urban Outfitters compliation and really digging it (got it for free by the by for buying the gaucho pants) I realized that I'm slowly turning into a teenager instead of a mature grown-up.

Reasons I'm acting 14 again:

1. Unnecessary crushes.
2. Liking a free CD given to me by UO, when I'm sure most of these songs have appeared on the OC at one point on its run.
3. The fact that I just called Urban Outfitters UO.
4. Watching teenage shows like Radio Free Rosco almost every day.

Okay, short list but I'm super busy so I'm out.


See ya next week!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I have a question that you might be able to answer.

Yo Dali, give me a rose.
Originally uploaded by barliss2.
I watched the season premiere of The Family Guy yesterday (thanks skippy!) and I'm a little embarrassed to admit that this was only the 2nd episode I've ever seen. Before I get bitched out by cartoon snobs, I have my reasons. Okay, I really don't have a reason- I was probably watching something else at the time. But my question is this (for anyone who watched it) -- at the end, what was with the guy in mud dancing around? I asked my roommate since he's seen almost all of The Family Guy's and he didn't understand it either. Now, I must know!!

So, I'm such a sucker. Watching too much MTV has turned me into a byproduct of "if you watch it, the money will come directly into some big corporate execs pants". Thus, I introduce you to Bloc Party. I never heard of them until MTV has very consistently been playing their buzz worthy video over and over and over again. Now, it's almost like I've been hypnotized into liking them. I just got Nicole to give me there cd to listen to, and indeed I do. Then I proceeded to look up if they were going to be in the Detroit area. Thankfully, they aren't, but if they were I wonder if I would have bought a ticket. I fell into their little hands too easily. They might as well said crack was good for you and I would've believed them. Damn the world and all it's advertising!

Side note: I just read the Weezer article in Rolling Stone. I never realized Rivers Cuomo was such a nut case. Oh well, Say it Ain't So is still one of my all time favs.

Now, onto the Bachelor. The only thing I will say about this is that I called Caitlin immediately after, and this happened:

Me: Oh my GOD! Can you believe what happened?

Caitlin: No no no! Don't tell me, I didn't watch it yet. It's on tivo. Please don't say another word!

Me: So, you don't want me to tell you that he didn't give the rose to... (laughing)?

Caitlin: No, you're killing me. Stop, I'm hanging up.

Me: Hehe.

The End (Not as funny, when I wrote it out, but it was funny on the phone, I swear.)

As for some people being jealous right now, I think the agency I work for is going to give us the day off and take us all to see Star Wars. Unless there's free popcorn, I think I rather watch Radio Free Rosco. Hehe.

Monday, May 02, 2005

You're an idiot!

Okay, so I know I make my fair share of mistakes writing wise ( I've probably made 10 right now), but if you went to elementary school you should know by now the difference between you're and your!!!! Someone just came up to me to ask this very question (Is this right? I never know.). So, I wasn't mad yet, because I realize she could very well be a little dumb for all I know, so instead of just telling her what the answer is, I explain it to her so she'll never ask me again.

Just read it out loud. You're means You Are. Does that make sense in a sentence?

The sentence reads something like this: Please respond to your fucking annoying memo.

She reads it, and then says, oh so it should be you're. I say no silly (trying to be very nice but feel my jaw clenching), read it again. This went on for about 5 minutes until I finally just fixed it for her. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!

I'm Sorry.

I've got 30 minutes until the first meeting of the week, so I have to type fast. Here it goes folks.

Saturday night started like any other. Downed a few beers, and then, out of nowhere, some boys who I believe might have been cute, but honestly couldn't remember right now, handed me a shot of tequila. I stupidly took it, and then another. That's when everything got very fuzzy. Somehow I found Kelly, when she told me we had to leave. See yas later cute boys, I have to go puke now. And that's exactly what I did. I haven't made such a fool of myself since sophomore year of college after drinking too much hunch punch. I believe I made Kelly stop because I told her I had to pee, so we were going to go to a friends house to do that, and I said fuck the peeing, I'm gonna puke on the side of the road. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Then I did that about 3 more times. The funniest part of the evening (besides bumping into the client at the bar- luckily I wasn't that drunk at that particular moment) was that Kelly went to open the door for me, except she went to the front door instead of the back. I just assumed she was following me, so I went to the back door and waited about 5 minutes. I guess she thought I was still in the car, and when she turned around she thought I was missing. Steve finally realized where I was and let me in. Anyway, nothing some matzo brie and 2 ibupofrens could fix the next day. No harm done, except for the tiniest bit of residue left in Kelly's car- but all in all a fun night with Kelly who I haven't hung out with in about 2 months (even though we live like 5 minutes from eachother). Oh, and I only spent about 10 dollars the whole night (which I found out later I didn't even need to drop that much- but oh well).

By the by: The reason for the title of today's blog is because apparently I kept telling Kelly how sorry I was for throwing up huge chunks near and sorta in her car.

The lesson for this week: Even if you ate 3 balanced meals, you should not take 2 tequila shots no matter how cute the boys are that handed them to you.