In a world where houses are easy to buy and sell.

So this magical place would be the most amazing land of lands. It would have grass you'd never have to mow. It would have houses that weren't too big, and never too small. It would have hardwood floors throughout and a washer and dryer, of course. It would be in an area that's walkable to the grocery store, the library and the coffee shop, just in case you ever actually wanted coffee from a coffee shop. It would have 3 rooms with 3 closets and 3 doors. It would be on a safe street right in the middle of a good neighborhood, and yet not on the one side that all the traffic is on. It would be smoke-free, stain-free and mold-free. It would not have neighbors above or below. And it certainly wouldn't smell weird. It would have a kitchen that has a gas stove and it would be big enough to have people gather around. It would be the kind of place friends would want to come to, people would want to rent later on and even more people would want to house swap when you and your boyfriend have the urge to move to Paris for a year. It would be absolutely lovely, with crown molding and fixtures that were old but not old in the kind of way that would need plumbing repair in a few years. This place, oh how wonderful you would be, if you were easy to get. If you didn't have to find your credit score and get pre-approvals and other stupid shit that seems so silly and weird and confusing. If you didn't have to look on websites endlessly, take trips constantly and put so much effort into it all. God, you'd be so marvelous if you were all of these things.

And I'm off....

I only have a second, because in a little bit Dominic is taking me out to do a little dancing. I had a great half day of work, spending the other half in the sun at Gas Works, napping, reading, laughing, eating, knitting and watching Friday Night Lights. But here's what I really wanted to tell you.

This morning, like most mornings, I was walking to the gym when I looked down and saw a dribble of toothpaste on my black workout pants. This happens to me almost every day, and my head immediately goes to jizz. Yep, jizz. Why? Because when the toothpaste is all dried up, it look just like whatever was on Monica's blue dress. So the entire time I'm at the gym, doing pull ups or running 5 miles on a treadmill - I'm also spending half the time spitting on my pants, trying to get that damn spunk off me.

Maybe tomorrow morning I'll start brushing my teeth a little more carefully.