Puywhattup?

I love fairs. Something about the dust in the air, the black boogers you get afterwards and the smell of grease makes me gitty inside.

Thus, I went to the Puyallup Fair on Saturday. What kind of fair was this you ask? Only the best fair ever! Not only were there about 4 different tents filled with sheep, alpacas and zebras (yes, zebras!). But there was also another tent where people proudly displayed their Menudo collections. I shit you not. There were beany baby collections. Collections of old utensils and little scenes made out of lego. There were dollhouse collections and anything Pillsbury collections. If you could collect piles of poop, it would most likely be at the Puyallup Fair.

Then there were the rides. Sure it only cost $10 to get in and then practically $8 to go on each ride, but when you're surrounded by machines that could fall off at any second you have to ride them! I lost my balance a few times and laughed my head off more than I have since I've been here.

And then there were the people. Before we got there, we all made bets on how many guys we'd see wearing a Taz shirt, how many people we'd see with no teeth and how many kids would either puke or get slapped by their parents. I saw 2 Taz shirts, numerous toothless folk and lots of "let's go over yonder!". We also took pictures of just random people standing in line making some of the best faces ever.

Then there was the beer tent, the band who chose to wear matching American flag outfits (also considered while making bets- I won that one as well) and the fact that one of them shouted out, "Some youngin wanted Johnny Cash and that's what we're gonna giv er". I was the youngin'.

One Suburban.
Six People.
Countless rides.
2 Taz t-shirts.
One prize won, then quickly given to a child.
4 beers.
One pulled pork sandwich and an ice cream cone of deliciousness.
Lots of tokes...

Equals an awesome day and night (a total of 10 hours) at the Puyallup Fair.

Hidden inside an Ikea

If you haven't received the newest Ikea catalog quickly go out and get it. Not for the shitty stuff inside, but for the huge penis found on the first page of the catalog. It's sitting nicely on the dog.

Then show to all your friends and laugh for hours at work. At least that's what I did.

I got a Gold Star!

I've been thinking a lot about this Gold Star theory I recently thought up with Mike. It's kinda like karma, but not really. It's more about the good deeds I've done or the random savings I've received and then all the loses I've had and looking at all of it every month. I almost want to start a tally right now to see how many Gold Stars I have (for the good things obviously) and Demerits for the bad things.

Hmmm....

Gold Stars for the Month:

Returned a debit card I found in an ATM
Received a total of 10 free alcoholic drinks
A free meal thanks to the waitress forgetting to order it (that's kind of a demerrit too, but free always cancels that out)
Recently was given about 500 songs for free
Got 2 coupons for free rentals at Blockbuster (thanks mom)
Asked if I could get a discount at the not so local yarn store, and the lady said yes, actually you can (I've learned to always ask this if you're feeling thrifty and the person selling whatever you want looks cool enough)
Received countless compliments on clothing I've spent less than $10 on
Found a cool button
A free ticket to Michigan (thanks connie :0)

Demerits:

Having to talk to my dad for the first time since December. Bleh...

My own made up Meme...

Listening to: Mazzy Star over and over again.

Weather right now: Grey and rainy, hence the Mazzy Star.

Wearing: Red and white striped top that I just bought for $2/blank pants.

Hair: Getting longer by the second. Always in some type of bun.

Reading: Just finished Freakonomics on the bus. If you're a nerd like me, and like some interesting facts you definitely want to read this.

Knitting: Binding off the mom's blanket, starting Fad Classic, finishing sister's purse (I SWEAR!).

Watching: Project Runway. Hoping either one of the dudes to win.

Wanting: Mike to get here already/A digital camera/Money to go to Portugal.

Thinking about: Selling my car and shithole computer.

Working on: It's a big secret.

Favorite park in Seattle: Arborteum.

Newest website I frequent: notmartha.org

Just discovered: If you leave the toilet seat up while flushing, that poo can fly up to 8 feet, most likely reaching your toothbrush. I've kept the toilet seat down for a week now.

10 year plan: Own a Bed and Breakfast/Vintage furniture store/Sell stuff all while freelancing

Smoothie of choice: PBandJ at Emerald City Smoothies (fucking delriously delcious)

Gold Star of the month: I found a card in an ATM, and called the 1800 number to see what I could do, especially since when I had to enter the person's number it revealed that he/she only had $100 in his/her account. I immediately sent the card to where I was told.

The things I did this weekend: Went out to a club way past my bedtime, went to Stitches for a DIY event, ran into some other DIY on the way to Stitches, was suckered into a great sale at a vintage store (where I got the $2 top I'm wearing today), rented the last 4 episodes of Lost so I can be ready for the next season, went to the park, went to the Fremont market and fell in love with an antique store, took a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day, knit my mom's blanket to almost completion, took some kind of medicine I knew would make me sleepy since I was wide awake at 11 on a sunday, fell asleep 30 minutes later.

Donde esta Portugal?

So, Jessie is off to Spain again. She'll probably be there for a year, then come back for a month then go for a year again. Either way, before she left today we talked about possibly meeting up. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of going back to Spain. It wasn't my favorite place, so I wasn't willing to waste $1000 on a so-so trip to a place I've already been. That's when the brillance in our heads happened, and someone suggested Portugal (I think she did). I was like, "Yes, when and where and how." We discussed time and cost and if this was really doable, and yes, yes it is.

The only expensive part is that now because I live all the way in Seattle, it costs me that much more to get to Spain (or just directly to Portugal). Like an extra $200-300 more, which no doubt, kinda fucking blows.

And of course, because I've travelled on all different types of planes I don't have enough miles to get me there for free (which would be the most ideal). I actually think I'm pretty close on Delta but only for a ticket in the US. I think I need like 20,000 more miles to get me to Europe. Argh!

SO, I've devised a plan for the upcoming Chanukah, birthday, Thanksgiving, Kwanza, New Years and whatever other holiday people would like to give me gifts. Either buy me miles or give me money. Money might not even do it, as I could just easily spend it on a smoothie down the street. But maybe do your research and give me a gift certificate to something in Portugal (like a restaurant, hotel/hostel, water, some kind of tour, bus ride or admission to something cool like a castle). Or get me a calling card. Or just donate some of your miles to me because I'm nice and I probably love you.

If you're really interested in funding my trip to Spain/Portugal please email me. In exchange I'll send you a postcard.

In the News according to Yahoo!

Sure, 9-11 is pretty important. I mean it made the top two headlines of In the News on Yahoo. The next 4 also dealt with "real world" type of news, with words like "government", "North Korea", "security" and "OPEC".

But remember, we are Americans. And what's more American than a story about Anna Nicole Smith's 20-year-old son dying randomly in his bed this morning? I actually just refreshed the page, and within 5 minutes her story has already been replaced with something about ESPN and then I stopped reading because I reminded myself that I hate sports.

Either way, can you believe it's been 5 years? It seriously still seems like yesterday. But thank god it isn't yesterday. It was one of those days where you remember where you were that moment. I remember being mad because my mom was calling me early in the morning, and since I was in between schools, didn't have a job and still 21 my biggest priority was making sure I woke up in time for Oprah. But instead I got a call from the mom saying, "Wake up. Something is going on. Don't go outside. Don't go anywhere. Just watch the TV." And that's exactly what I did. Calling my good friend Beth who lived in NY over and over again, when of course her line was busy. Calling my friend Shari, who had a friend in the towers (and died). And just watching the TV. And smoking. And watching. And hearing rumors on how they could hit the CDC, which is in Atlanta, which was where I was living at the time. And worrying. And calling more friends and family, and just staring in shock watching the same thing over and over and over again but still not understanding anything that was going on.

When I asked Mike what he did that day he said he bought a watch at the mall. Because really, what else was he going to do?

If I get sick I blame this bitch.

I hate stupid gym people. All over the Gold's Gym in Capitol Hill you see signs that say PLEASE WIPE OFF MACHINE AFTER USE. This sign is very logical, as you get sweaty and then leave your sweat all over some machine for others to use after you. If you don't at least attempt to clean it somewhat then you might as well not wash your hands after you shit. I'm not saying the mystery solution and soggy towel they provide for us is doing a perfect job, but it's doing something. It's preventing me from touching your sweaty ass.

So when the woman next to me was having a coughing attack while running, I though for sure that she would do the right thing (and leave immediately!). I am not joking when I tell you that she coughed on command every minute for a half hour. I wasn't sure if she was sick, had OCD or asthma. But either way, when she finally got off the treadmill she didn't clean off the machine.

Now, the bottle was right there. She wasn't in a rush, because when she was done with the treadmill she went right to the bike that was behind me. She was just a disrespectful dirty cunt who now will make the whole gym sick with her SARS.

I was debating on if I should be one of those people, and clean up after her. Fully knowing that she would be watching me, and that she'd know I was only doing this to teach her some kind of lesson. Then I thought about telling her, "Ya know, other people have to use that machine and since it's now covered in your sweat and cough spit you might consider using one of the twenty cleaning devices surrounding your nasty ass."

But you know what I did instead? Nothing. That's right, I suck.

Holla!

So, there were many things I disliked about living in Detroit. Mainly they concerned my jobs, because as I stayed there and started making good friends I realized Detroit as a place isn't as horrible as I once thought. Sure, I'm definitely loving Seattle way way more, but I have to give props to the D.

And one of the reasons I'm bringing this up is because of an article in the newest Readymade, where these people (who I must say whomever wrote this should really do some more research. As it turns out she actually lives in Detroit: sweetie, you should go out more) wrote articles about lost cities that are actually pretty cool.

Let's look at some of this girl's choices of hip places to go (which by the way, not a whole lot of the places featured were actually in Detroit but more of the surrounding areas like Dearborn and Royal Oak):

Northern Lights Lounge (I never knew there was a Lounge in its name):

I used to frequent this place on Tuesdays. The first time I went it was seriously amazing. A melting pot of every type of stereotype you could possibly find in Detroit. From hip hop to frat boys to nerds to people you just don't want to bump into, we were all there breakdancing to some amazing DJ. Then the next few times I went it became way too popular. Suddenly I was getting charged $5 to get in. There were fights breaking out every few minutes and you couldn't even get on the dance floor. I say this place had its prime about a year or two ago.

La Shish:

This restaurant was under the Best Off-The-Beaten-Track Restaurant, which is odd because if you live anywhere even near Detroit, Warren, Ferndale, Royal Oak, etc. you can find a La Shish like you can find a Starbucks in Seattle. So, yes I agree they have very good hummus and I could live off their apple smoothies, but it's not really a place you have to look for to discover. If you're looking for off-beaten and delicious then you get ice cream at the place next to Bolero (sorry, I don't know the name, but it's DEFINITELY NOT FUCKING COLDSTONE). You get the best pastrimi sandwich at Bread Basket. You scarf down your pizza at Green Lantern. Then get your burger at Red Coat (if you don't mind waiting a year and a half). Go to Noble Fish for the sushi and Thai Smile for ummmm thai (these 2 places would be my best description of off-the-beaten-track as the sushi place is in the back of a Japanese grocery store, kinda NY style and Thai Smile is box connected to a hotel and by the way the only redeeming quality of working in Warren at the shittiest job I've ever had.)

Oh, and if there's anything more Detroit and OTBT what about some secret Coney place? I personally thought the one place I went to which was supposed to have the best ones on a drunken night would turn my insides into tar, but I've heard people just love them more then their fat children.

Coolest movie theater: ??

The Ford Wyoming Drive-In. Well, I can say I've never been there. And that's probably a good thing, because if I had ever gone I would never be writting on this blog again because I would have been shot 3 times, raped and left for the dogs. I can't believe this person would advertise for tourists to visit this place.

As for a few shocking things she missed (but it's understandable, because I'm sure she's limited):

-FEATHER BOWLING!! This should have been on the list because a) it's fucking awesome and b) it's the only place in the US where you can play
-Wednesdays in Royal Oak- What a scene. Sure, Detroit snobs would snub their noses to this, but a visitor would find the millions of motorcycles sprawled on the street just amazing. Plus, look out for girls in leather walking their boyfriends with a dog chain. Always a site to see.
-Theater Bizarre/The Peep Show (I think I'm getting that name wrong)/whatever other underground shit that takes place- Detroit is big on the underground. Then you go and see that all your friends know about this "underground" shit too. Thus, you feel like a dork and resume your normal life of knitting/reading/working out. But going to these events always ended up being a good story to tell later (my car was broken into at theater bizarre/and the boy I dragged to The Peep Show ended up becoming my boyfriend).

So, there you have it. My critique on an article about Detroit. Take it or leave it. I'm out.