Question of the day

Why isn't there a movie called Montage? The storyline could just be 2-hours of montages that show friends/happy times/fighting/getting back together/and of course a couple skipping in a park, laughing at some joke we'll never hear because the whole flick will have a 70s yacht rock soundtrack.

Either that or a movie that just shows all the actors and actresses that have died this year. Just don't put in any composers or screenwriters, because I never know who they are and they fuck up the rhythm.

Question #7

Why is it that some people like to sit, stand or hover right next to you? Today I was changing at the gym when a woman walked up right next to me and proceeded to shove her shit in the locker next to mine. Did she not see the 200 other lockers that were available in the huge ass changing area? Why the one next to me? Even if that's her spot didn't she find it annoying to have to constantly close her locker so I could get into mine. Hey stupid fucking gym goer, I was here first! Pick another locker. This is my gym space. That is yours way the fuck over there. Kapeesh?

Besides that everything is going great. I have a job. I'm totally hyper on a half a cup of the shittiest Starbucks coffee and there's a big window with a nice view right in front of my face. If this stupid gym bitch is the only thing fucking my up life, then I really must have it made.

Question #6

Why does it seem like people with peanut allergies are the most uptight people in the world? Dominic just said, "Tell the blog that I'm allergic to bees and I don't demand bee-free rooms." Heck, he even camps and has gone into the wild, Epi-Pen and all. I totally get that this allergy is an issue and that to be in contact with a peanut could mean instant death, but why has this become such a thing lately?

I just read that Northwest Airlines passengers are protesting because the airline serves peanuts. Does this mean these passengers never go to Thai restaurants or football gatherings or any other airline, for that matter? I really just don't get why these peanutphobes are so much more allergic than other allergies. You never hear people who are allergic to strawberries making a big fuss.

Plus, have you noticed that allergic is just a weird word. I don't like saying it out loud. And I really want to put a k at the end, damn it.

Question #5

Do your boobs ever itch and yet you don't know how to scratch them? Not like in a public place because right now I'm sitting in my kitchen, by myself. I mean I can't seem to scratch them and my right one really itches.

I have an update on life but I'm off to walk around a lake with Aubrey so I'll have to tell you things another time.

Question #4

I keep finding things at the gym. Once I found a bus pass (which is worth $70 and it was the beginning of the month). I surprised myself and actually took it downstairs to the front desk. But today I found an earring in the shower. My entire shower time consisted of thinking what I should do about this earring. It didn't look fancy or diamondy. It was your typical Claire's kinda shit. But still. Should I have brought that downstairs to the "lost and found"? Because sometimes I think, well if it were me, and I lost my earring I'd immediately search the last place I had it. And it would such a nice surprise to actually see it there. My second instinct would be to go to the front desk, but my hopes wouldn't be as high. There is no clear "lost and found" so I would just assume that I should cut my losses and buy new, shitty earrings.

What would you have done? My brain is in total crazy mode lately and I haven't really slept this week so me thinks I'm going nuts. I would love to hear what a rational brain would have to say about this pressing topic.

Question #3

WHY?

Question #2

What the fuck is up with bacon and cupcakes and pirates and ninjas? Either I've gone old or I just don't get it. Sure I love all those things. Do I need them on my band-aids or need to make recipes that have bacon covered cupcakes covered in lard? No. Seriously. Explain this to me. Are we all just so depressed by all the lay offs and the need of change that we want things like food and super beings to take the load off?

Yesterday the local news talked about lay offs for 10 straight minutes. I asked Dominic to turn it to something stupid and mindless. It seems like lay offs have also become a stupid trend, like bacon. And cupcakes.

We watched an episode of Friends instead.

Question #1

Do you enjoy putting a Q-tip in your ear as much as I do? I really try to limit doing this, but every now and then I take one and wind away. I find it totally interesting to see the yellow shit that falls on that once clean cotton. And the weirdest part of all is that I almost always feel like I have to sneeze while doing it. Does that happen to you? Am I shoving the swab in so deep that it's hitting a part of my brain that triggers a sneeze?

An age question?

I turn THIRTY next week. It's too fucking weird. I don't feel THIRTY. I can hardly say THIRTY without wondering how I got to THIRTY.

So, with just a week left of being in my twenties, what the fuck should I do? Something crazy? Something dumb? Should I try to go to jail? Or bunjee jump? Or just do what I normally do and then go to Belize the day after I turn THIRTY?

Question for the Morning

Question: Will I ever EVER leave this hill?

Answer: That has yet to be determined.

Fuck you question! Fuck you!

Question for the Night

Question: How many cups of tea can one person drink in a single day when they are held hostage by the snow and a hill that's too steep and slippery?

Answer: 10

Question for you?

This is my second working from home because of snow day. I actually almost rather be at work just to get out of my apartment. This snow is totally weird for Seattle, and the fact that I live on a giant hill means I'm stuck here. No buses, no cars, no nothing going down this hill.

So my question is, what the fuck is on TV during the day? Yesterday I didn't watch any because I was too busy for work. Even too busy for music in the background. But today is a little slower. I have time to actually watch segments of the Today show. But then what? How do housewives do this every day? I mean, I know they aren't eating bon bons in front of the couch, but if they want to watch something during a snowy day what do they see? Maury? A 1979 episode of Wheel of Fortune? I even have Comcast, which means we get all these other free shows and I just can't find anything worth watching. Maybe I started acquiring too many hobbies and became disinterested in TV, because I just can't tolerate the tube anymore. It sucks. It babbles and talks too much. And it never seems to tell me anything important.

Have a great weekend folks. I'm hoping to be in 80 degree weather in less than a week! Booya!!!

Question pre-Thanksgiving?

Why do I eat so loud? Is this just me? I feel like when I eat my 1st of many apples in a day I'm chomping and slurping and water comes flying out here and there. It's totally embarrassing. I sit at my desk devouring that damn fruit and everyone else in the entire world knows it. This sound seems to get louder when I'm wearing my headphones. Like listening to Electrelane suddenly makes that apple that much louder. What is wrong with me?

Question for Friday?

Is it normal that I almost cried when I read that Dooce will finally be having another baby? This is a woman I don't know, will never meet and if the restraining order still stands, we'll most likely never be friends. But when you follow a stranger's life on the internet they somehow become someone you can relate to, otherwise you wouldn't read about their life.

Question of the Day?

Why do I always have to remind myself that Non-Fiction means it's based on fact and Fiction means it's based on fake? It's like those people who have to make an L with their left hand so they know which is left and which is right. This shouldn't be that hard, but whenever someone asks me if the book I'm reading is Fiction or not, I have to say in my head, "Okay Non-fiction is the opposite, so that means it's fact."

And I graduated from college, folks.

This week's question(s):

-Why are peaches and nectarines so good to eat, but so disgusting at the same time? Whenever I bite into one and see the messiness I left behind I feel weird. Like are people staring at me eat this succulent fruit? And if so, stop it.

-Why are there not any cute clothes to wear in the rain? I really don't want to get rainboots that have some dumb, trendy design on it. Maybe I'll get these for Chanukkah. In a size 9, black. Hint Hint.

-Why do I hate anyone who loves to bash any of the VP candidates? I get the feeling you are just dumb and uninformed (as am I, hence I don't bash).

-Why was last night's debate such a waste of time? From what I read after the fact, a lot of what both sides said were actually not very true. I hate not believing in our system. Ugh, less than a month away and a whole new set of lies. Fuck it all.

-Why am I so excited for my yoga class tomorrow? Because I haven't gone to a class in ages and want to see if I can see find my inner breath.

-Why am I even more excited to go to the Tea Festival? Cause duh, it's fucking tea. And tea is awesome!

-Why did I just book a solo vacation to Portland? Because I really want to go somewhere, on a train and by myself. That's why.

-Why can't I find a house cleaner? I've called two people who never got back to me. Ugh. If anyone in Seattle reads this, let me know who you know!

Ciao,
Barrie

More of the same.

-What's the difference between Miss and Ms.? Miss seems like it's meant for pre-school teachers, so I usually pick Ms.

-Why has coffee become the new cigarettes? Everyone at every workplace go in groups to get coffee. I don't drink coffee, nor do I like to buy it too much. Thus, I feel left out.

-Why is YouTube in spellchecker on Word? I wrote Youtube and that damn Word called my shit out.

-Why does it cost $75 just to renew a passport? Changing numbers on a piece of paper shouldn't cost that much.

-What stock should I buy, now that I've lost over $2000 in the last few days?

-Who wants to go to Portland in April to see the screening of HandMadeNation the movie?

-Was anyone else shocked to learn that Julia Roberts is playing the lead in Eat, Pray, Love? It almost seemed too typical.

Questions for Thursday?

-Why do guys lose hair on top of their head, but not anywhere else? In fact, sometimes they grow even more in new places.

-Why is it wherever you travel to every tourist store has the same exact shit?

-Why do people put stickers on their car? Especially for candidate hopefuls. It always seems silly years later when Gore didn't actually become president, and yet there's your dumb sticker for everyone to shake their heads at.

-Why does the guy at my gym where bath and body works cologne? Is he gay or just really into smelling like a pear?

-Who is really paying $100 to board their luggage on a plane? I want to talk to you. And maybe slap you across the face.

-Why are grates in the middle of sidewalks so scary? I always walk around them for fear that I'll fall through and land in a bucket of rats.

-Why are spiders and snakes so scary, yet when you see them they're usually just sitting still and doing nothing at all that's all too scary?

-Why are 3 day weekends so awesome? If we always had 3 day weekends would everyone be more relaxed? I heard Utah is already doing this and that it's working on a productive stand point. Would we start bitching why we don't have 4 day weekends, or is that just pushing it?

Comments? Concerns? Cacapoopeepants?

-Why do people cough on the bus and then immediately put their hand back on the railing? They must realize how gross that is, right?

-Why do birds poop in the same spot so that it leaves just one big poop area on the ground? Is that their home? Is there some good crumbs up on that ledge?

-Why do people tell you how to cure a cold, like they are a doctor of colds and like you are some dumbass who has never had one before?

-Why is it when you are so happy, someone usually comes in and shits on you?

-Why are customer service people the dumbest humans on earth? Are they this dumb outside of work? Are they really patient people?

-Why is it that you can yell at those you love, but not at those you hate?

-Why are there so many shitty movies, books, music that gets produced? And who are the people that see/read/buy them?

-Why can't you go in and out of a concert? They've invented the computer. I'm sure they can invent technology that enables you to reenter a venue.

-Why do movie theaters not allow you (me) to bring in my tasty fro-yo? I know it's because they want me to buy their crappy popcorn, but why should I be forced to when what I want is fro-yo and they don't offer that?

-Why is a one scoop of ice cream different everywhere you go? This is not the case for coffee cups or fries, so why stop with the scoop? I am always surprised as to how much ice cream I'm going to get.

-Why don't they teach kids about credit cards or saving up for the future? They should. It should be a required class in college and high school.

-Why is it that the most religious people always seem to be the most fucked up? Every time a non religious person is on the news, do really religious people think it's because we don't believe as much as they do?

-Why are so many people allergic to things these days? That's weird, right?

-Why did so many people like Borat? It wasn't THAT funny.

-Why is it that some people can never make up their fucking mind without someone else's opinion? This is probably the most frustrating quality I find in a person. It shows you have absolutely no confidence in your own choices. Or are too lazy to decide on anything.

-Why haven't the US caught on to the Europeans way of taking vacations? They get 5 weeks a year. Do Americans think this is wrong? I don't. And I don't know anyone around me who would hate 5 weeks of not going to work.

-Why have people decided texting is a way to communicate? It is not. I promise you.

-Why do people get mad when you don't accept their friendship right away on Twitter/MySpace/Facebook/Linkedin? Especially since you haven't talked to them in years.

-Why, oh why, can't I stop asking questions? I don't have an answer to this one. But I'll stop so you can go back to work.