How do you people live like this?

Yesterday I left early to get to my Car Rental place before they closed. I gave myself plenty of time, considering I knew it only takes 30 minutes to get home and this was not too far away from there. I even gave myself an extra hour just in case.

I was 30 minutes late.

Luckily Rent-A-Wreck are some of the nicest people ever. And yes, I just plugged them because they are the greatest.

After being in traffic, thanks to construction, for over an hour I called up my guy and he said no problem, I'll wait. He goes on to say, Oh you're only like a mile away. It's no problem at all.

45 minutes later I made it.

I left at 4:40. I got there at 6:30.

How do you people do this driving thing? Is it really worth it to deal with traffic and construction and accidents and pot holes and dents and insurance? I just don't get it anymore.

I cursed the entire time. I got several headaches. I punched the radio dial hoping something decent would come on. Nothing did of course, because the radio here is just god awful. If I'm stuck in traffic I need something awesome to sing to and distract me. Not This American Life or another fucking Nirvana song (seriously what is it about Nirvana here?)

Oh, how I miss 90.3 KEXP.

I came home so glad to be out of that thing on wheels, that I took a long walk on the beach and talked to Dominic about my hatred for everything that has 4 wheels.

I feel like an old lady, but I like a walking city. I like the bus. I like being able to read and listen to my ipod and even knit while someone else takes me here and there.

I like that someone else is ripping out there hair and punching the radio dials, cursing at the road while I mindlessly wait for my stop.

To Lala and Beyond...

So, I'm here and it's hot. This is the part I wasn't too thrilled about. Actually, there were lots of things I wasn't too thrilled about when I took this freelance gig. And one of the biggest parts is that Los Angeles is the spitting image of Fort Lauderdale, just with maybe more Mexican food and less Olive Gardens. But the layout is basically the same.

I'm not saying I hate it. I am saying it's no Seattle. I haven't felt that feeling I experienced when I first arrived in the Emerald City. The mountains and Puget Sound and Space Needle. Now those are things to see. The office buildings, traffic and heat are not.

Like I said, I don't hate LA. It's not your typical city. I live a block away from the beach. And this is definitely a plus, especially since my phone doesn't work because Sprint sucks huge hairy balls and never gets reception. So the boardwalk has become my talking and walking playground.

The sunsets are pretty and the people look pretty (fake). And the radio stations play way more Nirvana that I care to hear in one day. I don't think I've heard a Nirvana song yet in Seattle.

The stores are cute and plentiful. The people seem crazy and fun. The guys look tan. The gym is intimidating. Actually, I may be the fattest person there, which is pretty shocking in itself. And I'm pretty sure I saw The Edge from U2 working on his abs.

It's only been Day 3 in Lala land, so I shouldn't and couldn't possibly judge an entire city by then. But, of course, I do and will.

What did you do today?

As some of you may know, I'm off to lala land for 2 months. I come back on December 21st to then get back on a plane to go to Florida for a week. Then I get on another plane to go to Bogota for another week. Then I come back to Florida for a second and then get on another plane to go to Seattle and start looking for a new apartment before mine turns into a subway station.

Whoa.

Today, I....

Cleaned the house
Sold my old piece of shit computer circa 98 for the low, low price of $25 (i'm also throwing in shitty printer at no extra cost)
Sold my November bus pass since I won't be riding any buses next month (this makes me very sad)
Scoured the entire world that is the internet for the cheapest car rental place
Found the cheapest and played phone tag in order to reserve said cheap car rental
Called gyno (everything is a okay!)
Disconnected cable till Jan. 09/08
Disconnected internet till the same date
Found out if I disconnected my light company it would actually cost me 3x more than if I kept all my lights on for the entire 3 months (crazy right?). I obviously didn't go this route
Did some freelance for a cute little baby clothing company
Went to the gym
Tried to eat everything in my fridge
Reserved a flexcar for tomorrow so Dominic and I can have a day without internet and phone calls (we'll try our best at least)
Went through all my mail that's been piling up
Deposited checks
Made phone calls
Emailed headhunters and people I'm freelancing for

And now I'm just starting to do my laundry. It's 5:30. I've been up since 6:30 am.

I guess I'll pack on Saturday.

Who knew leaving for a few months would take this much damn time and energy.

For Girls Eyes Only

*Warning: Don't continue reading if you're the squimish type. Pretty uncomfortable shit lies ahead.

I got my colposcopy yesterday. Didn't have to pay a dime! But man, oh man, that procedure just sucks.

I'm pretty good with pain. Sure, I'll cry on the drop of the hat if someone calls me a bad name, but if you hit me across the face I'd probably just look pissed off. This was a different kind of pain.

I go in and the doctor tells me what I should expect. She basically opened me up pretty wide and had to dig around, collecting samples and cutting things out. She found a polyp, which I guess isn't a big deal, but cutting was required nonetheless.

The uncomfortable, painful part was that it felt like she was giving me a really bad cramp as she was opening and digging and cutting. It was like the worst cramp you can imagine. Like someone was punching you in uterus 100 times, but in a very sterile looking doctor's office with ugly paintings on the wall.

A lady came in to hold my hand. She tried to talk to me about knitting. It was that kind of hurt.

When she was done, I saw blood on her gloves and brown glop in a cup. She said not to worry, both were very normal. Just kinda uneasy to look at is all.

Now, I still kinda have the cramps and I guess I'm not supposed to swim or put anything in my vagina for a week. Whatever will I do with all those cucumbers I just bought!

I also have to get a pap smear every 4-6 months now.

Bleh, it's all just kinda annoying. Necessary, I know. But annoying.

Reasons why I can't find a decent Macbook.

I've been looking for a used Macbook on craigslist for two weeks now. And I've come to the conclusion that everyone who uses craigslist either doesn't really want to sell what they're trying to sell, or they skipped spelling/grammar in school.

I know I'm no writing wizard. Sometimes I accidentally throw in the occasional their when it should be there. I'm not perfect, and either are you. BUT, if you say you're in school and really need some cash so you're selling your Macbook but you say it like this:

computer works great. it is my first apple and im not very apple savy so up for sell. i just dont like the apple im used to dell. if you google a1811 you can find the specs there

I actually googled a1811, because I was curious as to what this 3rd grader was selling. Of course, I saw nothing related to an Apple Macbook. I did find out more about Sears jeans though.

Seriously folks. If you want to sell something, fucking sell it. Don't half ass a few sentences and call it a day. Give me specs. Give me a complete sentence. Use spell check! It takes only a few precious moments and does wonders to your selling capacity.

In happier news, I found out I have Cobra health insurance until November! For some reason I thought everything ended in the beginning of October, so I bought some bohunk crap insurance for a month. Now, it looks like I'm doubly covered. Woohoo. Weird pap be damned.

I also met up with some Ravelry knitters yesterday and discovered one of them recognized me from where else, Coral Springs! How crazy. For some reason this got me so excited that someone knew my pain of chain restaurants and non-existent parks. We shall hopefully talk more dirt soon.

And! Dominic and I took the ferry for a day trip to Bainbridge Island. It was so very nice, and relaxing. Just what we needed. The next day we continued our adventures to Maris Farms and looked for the perfect pumpkin, watched pigs race for their lives and ate corn on the cob.

All in all, the perfect weekend.

Not as good as Rushmore...

I saw The Darjeeling Limited last night. It was a free screening (of course) and we had to wait in line for an hour. No need to worry, as I always come prepared with crossword puzzles and fun games. The couple next to us also thought ahead as well and played some rummy type game with miniature cards. Aren't we the smartest (or most impatient)?

I didn't know what to expect from this movie. I heart Wes Anderson, but hated his last movie. The word around the street was that this would be more like The Royal Tenenbaums so I was happy to wait the hour and then sit another two hours with a bunch of germ infested people (hello sick season).

I liked this movie.

Shocker right? After a long line of bad movies, finally something worthy to write about. I didn't say I loved it. Believe me, it's no Rushmore. But I liked it. I would suggest others to waste their $10 to see it.

Of course with the good, comes the bad. And I'm much better at explaining the bad points. So with that, there were two that I noticed.

1. The slow motion. Wes Anderson seems to love this effect. It can be good at times. I loved the scene in The Royal Tenenbaums when Gwennie comes out of the bus to meet with the hotter Wilson brother. It works. The music works with it. There's a reason for the slow motion. But TDL seemed to do it just because. Maybe to stretch out the time? Or because he wanted to play a song a little longer? Who knows. It seemed to be pointless at times and this, of course, irked me.

2. The laughing. I'm not sure if people at screenings are just so pumped to see a movie for free that they'll laugh at anything, or if the people in this theater were stupid, or if the people in this theater thought they were watching a Will Ferrell flick but they laughed at everything. Sometimes to the point of me not understanding what the next line was, which is most irritating.

Don't get me wrong. This was a funny movie. But Wes Anderson and his writer friends are a different type of funny. A subtle funny. The kind of funny I love. So I just didn't understand why so many people were going crazy over this. It almost made me mad that they were laughing as much as they were. They should just chuckle. A snicker maybe. But not laugh out loud in unison. Ugh.

So there you have it. A bad review for a good movie.

Till Monday.

Sidewalk Etiquette

One of the things I absolutely love about Seattle is that I can walk everywhere. I can easily stroll down to Pike Place, or the library or the parks. It's fabulous really. The streets are hilly which makes for a decent work out and since I live in one of those hipster parts, I always see something or someone interesting.

The only downfall to this walking around in a city is when there is one douchebag who doesn't know proper sidewalk etiquette. You know this person. It's usually one guy who doesn't know which side to walk on. So he walks in the middle. When you try to pass him on the right, he kinda walks to the right. Then you go to the left and he walks to the left. And even though you're right behind him, breathing down his stupid neck, he doesn't notice that you want to pass. Because you walk fast, and he walks slow. Real slow. Like snail slow. You hate this person.

Or at least I do.

SOUP!

I think it was when I moved to Michigan when I really started making soup. I'm no pro, but I like doing it. A lot.

My grandma used to make the best soup in all the land. She only made 3 kinds. Matzo Ball soup, Chicken Noodle soup and Split Pea soup. All amazing. The aroma of seasonings and broth and veggies filled the house the minute we opened the door. It was always the first course. Oh yes, at grandma's we always had at least a four course meal. Soup and chopped liver (or gefitle fish) on a bed of lettuce and potato latkes and steamed carrots and brisket and dessert. Seriously I don't know how I stayed as thin as I did.

But it was always her soup that I would easily slurp up. Grandma's house was the only place I'd be allowed to pick up the bowl and drink the remaining bits. And the only place I'd actually want to, because soup anywhere else just wasn't the same.

One day her soup didn't taste right. I came home with a belly ache, and told my mom something was wrong. A month later she fell in the middle of the road. She died a few days after Mother's Day about 5 years ago.

Before she died she would actually send me mail. Remember mail? Usually it was just, hi I'm lonely and wish I could see you kinda stuff. But at the end of each letter she'd supply a recipe of something I'd love to eat. Like Split Pea soup.

Yesterday I found the recipe and made it. Everything was very vague. Like add onion, carrots, celery and split peas to a pot of water. She never really measured (as all good cooks shouldn't), so I just had to wing it as she would. Needless to say, as a newbie, the soup didn't come out nearly as good as hers. But the house did smell pretty darn good.

If only the Beatles did porn.

A few weeks ago, Dominic took off work so we could eat at our favorite taco truck and see Across the Universe.

All we heard about this movie was one review from someone I don't really trust with movies, or anything for that matter. He's one of those people who likes everything. Those people are always iffy in my book.

I saw some previews and it looked interesting enough. A movie inspired by Beatles songs. I liked George Harrison. Let's go!

We sat down and immediately knew we were doomed. This movie really fucking sucked. Not like Shark Attack 3 sucked (cause that's actually a quality bad movie). But like it just sucked. Sucked so bad we walked out after an hour. I've only done this once before and if I tell you the movie then you might not trust this review. Let's just say I'm not a war movie kinda gal (No, not Saving Private Ryan - I know good shit people).

Anyway, don't read the next few paragraphs if you actually want to see this turd. Fuck it, read the next few paragraphs cause I really don't want this movie to make any money at all. No one should see this.

It starts with a kid singing a popular Beatles song and it basically doesn't stop from there. This was a Mamma Mia play put into a movie. Actually I think that's probably what happened. Someone couldn't make this into a play, so a moron came up with the worst idea ever to make this song and dance into a 2 hour snore.

The main guy is the rebel who goes to war instead of college. The main chick is a prep who loses her boy to the war. They sing. They dance. I'm sure they fell in love (we didn't stay to find out).

It really is a bad high school play. I don't know any other way to describe this crap.

On another note entirely, because Dominic did my site in a very timely fashion I bought us tickets to what else, a short-film porn competiton called Hump 3! Basically it was all these short movies that had a lot of penises, bondages, vaginas, hardcore, softcore, really really hardcore (like make your stomach turn and look down at the floor until it's over hardcore), and entertaining porn. Their were about 25 short films and we had to vote on the best in humor and hardcore. Some were bad. Some were good. Some were oh my god.

In short, Hump 3 was way more entertaining than Across the Universe could ever be.
Way more entertaining.

I'm on a roll!

Yesterday was Seattle's monthly Art Walk. For those who don't have a monthly Art Walk (tear tear for you) it's when all the galleries and art studios open their doors till the wee hours so you can gawk at their art and drink their wine and eat their grapes or stale cookies.

Some of it is kinda pretenious. Some of it isn't.

As we were walking from one gallery to the next, Dominic and I approached Magic Mouse Toys and I jumped up and down and said, "Ooh have you ever been in there? It's magical." He hadn't so we hopped on in and then we were instantly transported to being 5 years old. Fake poop and chickens, that if pressed started doing the chicken dance, kaleidoscopes that if put against your eye would leave a dark circle. Oh, the hilarity! Personalized nameplates that, of course, didn't have either of our names. But did have Ernest and Latisha. Stickers that promised, FUN FOR HOURS (to which I said, Who has THAT much fun with stickers?) Band-aids with ninjas and unicorns on them! Bright lights, fuzzy things, clinks and clanks.

It was the best art we saw all night.

I'm gonna try this writing thing again...

Yesterday I met up with some knitters I never met before. There was that moment of awkwardness where I realized I didn't know what this person looked like. I figured I'd just see a knitter in a corner somewhere and I'd point and we'd hug.

But when I got there, no knitters were in sight. *I immediately got that fear that I was being stood up. I held my knitting bag outward like, while I waited patiently in line for my deliciously chocolately hot chocolate, to show everyone that YES I AM A KNITTER. PLEASE TALK TO ME AND BE MY FRIEND. I looked at everyone thinking, not a knitter, not a knitter, definitely a bum.

Then I saw this girl with a pretty scarf. Definitely a knitted scarf. Maya's made a scarf like that. We exchanged looks for a second, I received my Dark Vader Hot Chocolate and sat down to immediately knit.

This girl came right up to me and said I must be Barrie. We knit and talked and had a grand ol' time. We will do it again, we said. Let's hope.

*I realize this totally sounds like I was waiting for a date. But anyone who meets people from the Net might understand this feeling. Whether it's to meet a potential love match or a friendly knitter, you get worried that even if you get along through emails and have the same interests you might not actually get along in real life or even actually meet for that matter.

Post Lay Off

It's interesting how people act when they hear about my lay off. I've noticed 3 reactions.

1) Those fucking bastards. They don't know what they're smoking!

2) It was for the best, right? Now you're free! You can do whatever. You can move wherever. Except, oh, what will happen with you and Dominic if you move? (This is surprisingly the most asked question in the last 2 weeks.)

3) Don't look at her. Quickly walk away.

The 3rd one only happened once, and was definitely kinda weird. I know this person and see her at practically every outing. Usually she's nothing but friendly to me, except for the other day when I saw her and she didn't say a word. In fact, she kinda just disappeared.

Of course this could've just been in my head. Maybe she didn't know what to say. Maybe she's just weird. Maybe she's one of those people when once you don't fit in with her crowd she ignores you. Or maybe I was just seeing things.

I'm pretty bad at judging people so who really knows.

Besides that, I've been pretty great. It's awesome not waking up early to go to the gym. It's awesome to get errands done that you've been meaning to do for 2 years now (like finally getting a Washington license). It's awesome to take mini road trips to Twin Falls (where Twin Peaks was partially filmed I guess) and seeing your boyfriend crash a soapbox at Red Bull's Soapbox Derby. It's awesome having headhunters and friends and people you don't even know passing your work around.

I took yoga today!

I did encounter one not so great thing. My Pap came back abnormal. Now, I know it's usually nothing so I'm not even really worried. The frustrating part is that I have to actually buy stupid insurance just to cover the test. The stupid insurance costs more than this cheap Jewish girl would like. I much rather spend that money on yarn or an Apple Macbook.

Thus, the whole finding a job thing might be necessary. For things like testing my abnormal pap and buying good yarn.

Alright, random blog. It's getting sunny outside so I have to run out there before it gets cloudy again. Enjoy your working day!